Saturday 7 March 2020

Mask Maker - Jason Voorhees' long lost cousin

I know they remade Friday 13th, but Mask Maker feels almost like they've remade the remake. Seriously, `modern' slasher films, i.e. those with a - seemingly - indestructible undead serial killer have been around for nearly forty years, yet, in that time, film-makers don't seem to have been able to come up with anything more inspiring that `teenage couples have sex and die.' If any couple partakes in pre-marital sex, you can write them off the cast list (same goes for any nudity at all).

Mask Maker is about your average undead serial killer, stalking a load of annoyingly-attractive American teens in a big house two of them have recently bought. There are attempts at explaining why he's undead, but it doesn't really matter. His `gimmick' is that he doesn't really have a face and he rips off victims' faces and uses them as his own (didn't they do that in Texas Chainsaw?). It's worth noting that if you're wearing an ill-fitting, blood-soaked, torn-off mask of someone, all your friends will instantly think you're really them and not bother asking questions until you've hacked them to bits.

Talking about hacking people to bits, the death scenes are particularly uninspiring. Yes, there's a bit of blood, but nothing very original.

It's predictable too. No major plot surprises here. The clichés come thick and fast, especially with the `locals who always know something' about the horror that is to come.

Basically, if you're into films with undead killers stalking dumb teens, just stick to Friday 13th. It may be a little old by now, but it's still better than this.

Oh, and if you're thinking of buying a property, get your solicitor to check that no psychotic undead serial killers aren't buried somewhere on the premises. If you find out there are, I recommend returning to the estate agents and looking for somewhere else.

4/10 You can watch this film while you're doing the ironing (you'll still get the general gist of it)

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