Christine – Don’t call the Automobile Association 

A new book by horror writer Stephen King is normally met with ‘Oohs’ of anticipation.  A new film based on one of his books is met with much ‘eye-rolling.’ For some reason the translations of his work from text to screen have been very hit and miss (and when I say ‘hit and miss’ I mean more ‘miss’ than ‘hit.’ However, back in 1983 when Stephen King films were a rarity and John Carpenter was still a highly-thought of director, it was a combination that couldn’t fail (despite the slightly shaky premise!).  ‘Christine’ is about a ‘killer car’ of the same name.  How does a car kill people without a driver?  Well, it’s sentient for a start.  How did it become sentient?  Well, it just did, okay?  Deal with it and enjoy the daft ride.

A slightly geeky youngster acquires Christine as his pride and joy and maybe gets a little too close to it for comfort.  In other words, he soon becomes besotted with it and dare I say the attraction is reciprocated, even to the point where Christine gets quite jealous of the boy’s new (human!) love.  What follows is a tale of…well, like I’ve already said – a sentient killer car.  That’s it in a nutshell and, if you’re able to suspend your disbelief long enough to buy that, you’ll have a lot of fun.

It’s not particularly gory for a horror film, but what it lacks in the red stuff flying everywhere, it more than makes up for in mood and ambience.  I haven’t read the book, so can’t really comment on the source material is based on, but I’m guessing it’s a lot better than the film’s actual script (which is pretty clunky and generic at the best of times).  The actors can hardly be judged on their performances as they probably do the best they can with what they’re given, but it’s fair to say that you won’t be recognising many faces you see here.  What truly elevates this film from being a completely forgettable and laughable attempt at horror is John Carpenter’s direction.  If you’ve seen any of his other seventies/eighties classics (i.e. ‘Halloween, The Thing’ and a few more) then you’ll know all about the slow camera shots and droning one-note musical scores which accompany the film and build up a nice sense of dread an anticipation.

I’d like to say that ‘Christine’ stands up today like it did when it was released and, to a certain audience that’s true.  Apart from those of us who saw the film at the time and watch it with a heavy dose of nostalgia, I can see those who can appreciate how horror films were made nearly forty years ago will enjoy looking back at the gem from the past.  However, for those who are just craving masses of blood and decapitations this will seem like a long-drawn out and dull affair.

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that