6 Underground - Watch it if you've already paid for it

I was a Ryan Reynolds fan even before he returned to the big time with his 'Deadpool' films, so I was more than happy to watch an action film produced for Netflix as I happened to have a subscription that month.  I didn't know what it was about, but, judging by the promotional pictures it had plenty of gun-play and explosions and, I'm ashamed to admit, that's normally good enough for me.

I noticed it was quite a long film (clocking in at just over two hours) and, believe it or not, the first twenty minutes are taken up with one long car chase.  Now, this may sound a little over the top, but it's well shot and there are a few nice moments and it's pretty cool.  Then I noticed that every explosion looked like it had firework-rockets spewing out of them - a trait only used by notorious action film director, Michael Bay.  This then happened so much I stopped to check who directed it and - sure enough - it was Bay's first film directly to streaming service.

Therefore, it's no wonder the film looks so good - and I stress the word 'looks.' Everything looks great in terms of shot composition and style, but, underneath there's just that feeling that there's something lacking overall.  If you're an uber fan of Ryan Reynolds you'll enjoy watching him on form as the part he plays - a leader of an elite team of assassins - is one where he can practically sleepwalk through.  The film felt a bit like a recent 'Mission Impossible' film where you have one major star (in this case Reynolds) leading a team of highly-skilled killers to take down the bad guys.

You will get some cool bits, some good bits, some funny bits and some bits that require you to not think too hard about the logic or physics of the situation in order to appreciate what's happening.  The plot is all over the place and sometimes you need to just sit back and enjoy the pretty sets and explosions.  It also has that 'Marvel-style' humour in it where the characters will make a witty quip here and there.  The trouble is, the film isn't for kids and there's plenty of gore.  So if there's just been a situation where many people have died, the humour feels a little out of place and takes away from what should really be a serious moment.

I read online that this was supposed to be the start of some sort of franchise, but, although reasonably successful, it didn't do well enough to green-light a second part.  I can see why.  It's not bad and if you like Ryan Reynolds and/or action films in general, it's well worth a watch as part of your Netflix subscription.  However, if I was expected to pay full-price to see it in the cinema, I'd certainly wait until it was released on whatever streaming service I was signed up to at the time.

6/10 Should probably keep you awake if Freddy Krueger was haunting your nights

Army of the Dead (2021) - This is every zombie movie rolled into one

Alas, Zack Snyder, I knew him well.  I'm a huge zombie fan and therefore loved George A Romero's 1979 classic 'Dawn of the Dead.' Naturally, I was sceptical when I heard it was being remade, but, to my surprise, Snyder handled it well.  Plus his next few films were pretty good, too (I even enjoyed 'Man of Steel').  Therefore, I had high hopes when I heard he was returning to the genre and almost being given a free run with the story and production.

I knew 'Army of the Dead' was not in any way related to his 'Dawn of the Dead' remake, so I was ready for something new.  What I got was an all-you-can-eat buffet of every aspect of a zombie movie ever put to film.

It was like the producers had thrown various cool zombie-related ideas into a hat and then chosen the best.  However, they obviously thought ALL the ideas were the best and so decided to put every last one into the finished product.

You end up with sleeping zombies, dried out zombies who wake up in the rain, robot zombies (yes, seriously), slow zombies, fast zombies, martial artist zombies, zombie animals, zombie queens and kings and, of course, zombies in love.

Now, you'd think with all those elements the film should last about five hours or be more like a long-running TV series.  However, most of those above are never really expanded upon, let, alone explained.

Meanwhile you have the overall plot of a team of mercenaries (most of which are stereotypes who you'll hate, others just criminals) who are trying to rob a vault in a Las Vegas hotel - even though the owner of the hotel has recruited them, making people wonder why he just didn't give them the key.

Naturally, the rest of America isn't too happy about having a city infested with flesh-eaters and have walled it off.  Now they're going to nuke it and make sure there's a 'no fly zone' in place over the city.  Of course this doesn't mean that people can't fly out, so as long as they get their hands on a chopper (which will somehow fit the bags and bags of money they've stolen, the US airforce will be fine with just letting them go.

It doesn't make sense.  Nothing really makes much sense.  Some zombies are practically indestructible... until they're needed to die - then they go down with just a head-shot.  It's a mess and it's all over the place.  One thing though - it is pretty well shot in places.  But just when you get one good looking scene, it's kind of spoiled by Snyder's direction when he focuses in on one thing in shot leaving everything else blurred all around it.

Perhaps if you've never seen a zombie movie before this one might impress you.  Or you're the most forgiving person when it comes to plot holes and things that just make you want to roll your eyes.  If this was the only undead movie around it would be a blockbuster.  As it is... George A Romero was making better (and more scary!) zombie films with a fraction of the budget fifty years ago in black and white.  Probably best to stick to those (or one of the earlier seasons of 'The Walking Dead').

5/10 a hard trek, a bit like unicycling to Mordor and back

The Brood - No new parents need to watch this

If you're thinking of having children, you really should make sure you don't watch 'The Brood' before you go all the way.  Otherwise you'll probably end up adopting a spaniel instead.  Mind you... it's not just the kids you have to look out for.  It's also advisable that you get your prospective partner checked out before you put a ring on her finger and make sure she can't conjure up evil midget-size manifestations of evil who want to kill everyone around them.  Happy families this is not.

Writer/director, David Cronenberg is well-known for taking us into some dark and horrific places, but this story is - loosely - based on his own experiences during his real-life divorce and custody battle with his soon to be ex wife.

I don't know how that story ended, but I hope it worked out better than what happens in 'The Brood,' where Oliver Reed leads a 'new wave' scientific experiment in his luxury home, where he 'treats' his patients' mental problems by making them speak to him as if he is the person they feel has caused them all their problems.  I know Reed has his problems off set, but his performance just somehow works here.  He's strong, stoic, practically without feeling and totally committed to his own cause - no matter what the evidence to the contrary provides.

However, the husband of one of them women under his care is concerned that she has been hurting their daughter during permitted weekend visits.  He therefore insists that the mother/daughter time swiftly comes to an end.  Oliver Reed's character does not agree.  Tension ensues.

Because 'The Brood' was made back in the seventies, there isn't the need for major special effects, so what you get is some pretty nasty make-up and creepy scenes which are a damn site scarier than a thousand computer generated monsters.

The film may always have the 'look' of the seventies about it, but the story is as solid and terrifying today as it ever was.  A definite classic.

8/10 The Force is definitely strong with this one