I, Tonya – Harley does figure skating

I know it’s really bad to typecast an actor, but all the way through ‘I, Tonya’ I couldn’t help but see Harley Quinn from the –debatably-popular – ‘Suicide Squad’ wielding her baseball bat all the way through.  However, don’t take that as a negative.  Whether the cinema-going public loved or loathed DC’s villain ensemble, most seemed to agree that Margot Robbie was a stand-out point.

Back in the early nineties I remember hearing about the story ‘I, Tonya’ was based on, but never really knowing too much about it, i.e. an American Olympic figure skater was so determined to win the gold medal that she had a rival on her own team beaten up.  Now, upon watching that brief summary stretched out into a two-hour movie, I’m still little clearer about the details of the event, but then I think that’s the point.  Many stories that are based on real life (or ‘inspired by true events’ as seems to be the popular phrase these days) are debateable as to how true they really are.  However, right from the beginning, this film states in some opening text that it’s based on multiple versions of many unbelievable events.  I liked that.  Not only does it suggest that what you hear is subjective, but it also sets the tone of the movie.

Once the ‘characters’ have been introduced, the story progresses and, quite often, we see different versions of the same event – as seen by the different person who witnessed it/is telling that portion of the story.  I know I mentioned that Margot Robbie gives off a real ‘Harley Quinn’ vibe, but it works.  I hope she’s not actually going to just get typecast as the – borderline nutty – woman of the big screen, as I’m sure she can play numerous roles.  However, in this case, I dose of ‘Daddy’s Little Monster’ is just the ticket and she steals every scene she’s in.  And she has to work for that accolade, as the supporting cast all do their best to upstage her.  There wasn’t a single bad performance in this movie and it was a real treat to watch.

I’m not sure how much actual skating Margot Robbie did and how much is some form of CGI trickery.  I did my best to stare intently to see if I could pick out anything that would give the effects away and either my eyesight isn’t that good, or the CGI was just better, as it looks like she’s on the ice the whole time.

I don’t know how true to what really happened this film is, but I do know it’s great entertainment and has a great cast on display.  Special mention to Allison Janney, who plays possibly the worst on-screen mother since poor Carrie White’s single parent!  Only after I’d seen this film did I understand that one marketing quote was something along the lines of ‘The Goodfellas of ice skating.’ I’m not sure I saw the similarities, but I would say it’s an epic tale that’s definitely worth watching.  It’s like Harley Quinn gave up crime, became a figure skater and then took up crime again (maybe!).

9/10 almost as perfect as The Godfather

Basket Case 3 – A whole new film

I’ve watched the whole ‘Basket Case’ trilogy now and, like many who have a soft spot for cheesy eighties horror, enjoyed the first one’s entertainment value.  It deserves its place as a ‘cult classic’ from its title alone.  However, it’s sequels were less well known.  This was possibly because the second one seemed to veer so far away from the overall dark and horrific feel of the original that it seemed like a completely different movie.  And that was just ‘part II!’ Now we have the third instalment and it’s practically unrecognisable as part of the franchise.  One of my main complaints about the second instalment was that it didn’t really feature the titular ‘basket case’ monster, dwelling more on a whole new cast of characters and freaks.  At least now our murderous anti-hero gets the screen time that he was possibly robbed of in the middle film, but, even so, this feels like a totally different film when compared to the original. 

Like the first followed closely from the second, the third picks up right where the predecessor left off.  There’s a whole house-load of monsters who live quite happily with their human ‘aunt,’ but the basket case and his, only slightly less creepy, human brother can’t seem to fit in – expect many murders to follow. 

The first two thirds don’t really seem to go anywhere and feel just like extended padding for the final act.  If you’re really going to find enjoyment out of this cheeky little movie then the pay-off is what you’ll be waiting for.  In the last third you get the majority of the gore, the majority of the silliness and even a couple of plot points that I didn’t see coming regarding characters. 

Realistically, it’s not a bad little horror film.  It’s not big budget and doesn’t have a single recognisable face (with the possible exception of a talk-show host!), so if you don’t mind that then you’ll be party on your way to get something out of this.  You will certainly need an appreciation of eighties horror (yes, I know this was technically filmed in the nineties, but it’s eighties at heart!) and the silliness that came with it.  The best gore and prosthetics all come in the final third and, when they do, they are kind of fun.  However, if you were a die-hard fan of the original, you probably won’t believe how far the series strayed from the original.

6/10 Should probably keep you awake if Freddy Krueger was haunting your nights

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets – The Fifth Element’s distant cousin

‘Star Wars, Star Trek, Valerian.’ Spot the odd one out.  Well, apparently, all THREE are major players in the sci-fi world.  The problem is that only one of them is a major comic in France ONLY (and that’s ‘Valerian’ in case you wondered!).  Therefore, there weren’t that many people getting particularly excited when it was announced that it would be coming to the big screen, courtesy of visionary directly, Luc Besson.  Therefore, the only real piece of trivia to help promote its launch was ‘The most expensive French film ever made’ hardly set the pre-ticket sales at the Box Office alight.  And, subsequently, it didn’t really live up to its full potential.

Luc Besson was also the writer/director behind ‘The Fifth Element’ – a sci-fi film with a decent budget that only really did ‘okay-ish’ at the Box Office, before truly finding its place in cinema history throughout the years after its release.  It did a lot better on the small screen and eventually became quite a (profitable!) cult hit, now regarded as one of the best sci-fi films of the nineties.  I’m not saying that ‘Valerian’ is quite up there with ‘The Fifth Element,’ but I certainly enjoyed it more than its disappointing Box Office takings suggested.

First of all, the wonderfully-haunting song (‘Space Oddity’ by David Bowie) plays over a montage of shots showing humanity building a space station around Earth which went on to become a beacon of intergalactic trade for numerous species and, eventually, got so big that it had to be released into the cosmos forever.  Skip forward a few hundred years and we meet our two young peace-keepers-of-the-future, Major Valerian (Dane DeHaan) and Sergeant Laureline (Cara Delevingne) who are generally charged with the task of saving a peaceful race from ultimate destruction.  I won’t go into too much detail regarding the plot because it is pretty standard and there’s nothing really new there that hasn’t been done before. 

What follows are just over two hours of beautiful, colouring settings which really do put the ‘Star Wars’ films to shame in terms of detail and imagination.  Of course much of the scenery and aliens are computer-generated, but it’s not as jarring as it could be and, once you get used to it, you really do feel these weird and wonderful creatures and places are there.  Plus there’s plenty of great futuristic tech on display to go with the –inevitable – action-related set-pieces – my personal favourite being a market in another dimension that you can only see wearing special glasses (it’s also a tourist hot-spot of the future!).

So, ‘Valerian’ does a lot right.  However, what may go some way to let it down is ‘Valerian’ himself, i.e. Dane DeHaan.  I’ve seen him in other films and he’s a good actor, sadly here he just doesn’t seem to cut it as a believable action hero/leading man.  I don’t know whether he just struggled acting against so much CGI, but all I could focus on was having the saviour of the galaxy and the bags under his eyes!  I know some people slate Cara for her acting ability, but I found her far more believable as a ‘space cop’ and almost wished she was the sole hero the film was based on.  The plot also wanders here and there and you feel like there are a few ‘sub-plots’ which don’t really go anywhere and probably could have been removed.

However, the film overall was great fun and if you’re looking for a beautiful space opera with plenty of neat tricks and action, you’ll get what you’re looking for here.  Hopefully, like Earth’s long-lost space station itself, this will eventually find its place in the universe.  Guess we’ll probably never get the sequel that could have been based on its comic-roots.

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that

The Shape of Water – Del Toro does it again

‘The Shape of Water’ is the latest movie from Guillermo and, if you’ve seen anything he’s done before, you should have a good idea of what you’re going to get.  I’d say, out of all his previous work, this is closest to the much-lauded ‘Pan’s Labyrinth.’ Personally, I enjoyed that one, too, but I do recall one of my friends saying something about how he went into the film expecting a monster/sci-fi/fantasy film and all he got was a war film with a couple of fantastical scenes.  Okay, so his appraisal was technically correct, however I stand with the majority of audiences when I say I didn’t mind that – just like I didn’t mind that ‘The Shape of Water’ was basically a war film with a monster thrown in there.

However, that than being a subtitled film set during the Second World War, this time we go a little closer to present day and find ourselves in ‘Cold War’ America where government agents have captured a mysterious humanoid/reptilian life-form and intend to use it in their space-race (I’m not sure how this was to be achieved, but never mind!).  Again, anyone who has seen any of Del Toro’s previous films where a humanoid aquatic creature is involved, can probably picture what this one looks like (especially as it’s even played by the same actor!).  And, it’s fair to say that this weird-looking half-fish-man isn’t having a whale of a time (pun intended).  He’s routinely tortured by scientists and equally-creepy men in black (primarily) by Michael Shannon – who’s probably more of a monster than the monster itself thanks to his overuse of an electronic cattle-prod device of torture!

However, just when it looks like our fishy friend is doomed to a life of torture and dissection, he’s befriended by young cleaning lady (Elisa, played by Sally Hawkins) who’s also completely mute.  They then form a bizarre friendship which – hopefully – will lead to a better life for both of them.

I enjoyed ‘The Shape of Water,’ but I can see that it’s probably not for everyone.  If you’re a fan of Del Toro’s other work then you’ll like it.  The sets and period details and perfect and a wonderfully-magic atmosphere is created out of a normally mundane setting.  At first I found it a little weird, having a protagonist who never uttered a word for the entire two-hour runtime, but Hawkins is a capable lead and uses all other bodily actions and expressions to convey just what she’s thinking and feeling (plus she can curse using sign language!).  Like I say, it is two hours and, although beautiful to watch, does tend to feel a little overly-long here and there.

Richard Jenkins plays Elisa’s friend and provides some much-needed ‘heart’ and humour into the film, but the stand-out goes to Michael Shannon, who portrays the most sinister man in black since ‘Agent Smith’ from ‘The Matrix.’

Don’t expect wall-to-wall action, think of this as more of a ‘Pan’s Labyrinth’ type film just with more ‘signing’ and less subtitles.  Also, if you have a soft spot for cats, you may want to close your eyes mid-way through – or just never bring a wild monster home if you have pets.

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that

Coherence – Only just coherent

If you’re like me, you may well cynically see today’s crop of sci-fi films as nothing more than the same story involving superheroes flying around New York fighting aliens repeated over and over again.  Therefore, I do try to check out slightly lower-budget offerings which rely on story over effects and characters over star-power.  Therefore, I thought I’d give ‘Coherence’ a go as I stumbled across it on a popular internet streaming service.

Six friends (who are only just slightly different from Joey, Ross, Phoebe and co!) are having a dinner party when their night of social small-talk and cheese and biscuits is interrupted by a comet hurtling over their heads.  And, as pretty as it looks in the background of one of their selfies, it proves to split reality creating an alternate version of reality before they’ve had a chance to down their second glass of wine.

Now, whenever a film presents the audience with ‘countless realities’ or time travel, or some other concept which requires careful attention to details when it comes to plot, really does need to keep things clear for viewers without confusing them. ‘Coherence’ just about managed that.  It’s certainly not a film you can go into too much details about when it comes to plot, as most of what I say may give away spoilers.  The main thing I’d say is that you really do need to pay attention, so don’t you dare risk a toilet break without pausing the film as you may end up returning to a completely different set of characters compared with who you left!

The cast do their best with what they’re given in terms of script – mainly it involves looking confused and/or scared while trying to offer theories as to what’s become of their evening.  There’s certainly no big name stars (unless you count ‘Xander’ from the ‘Buffy’ TV show!), but they do enough to make you believe that they’re a close-knit bunch of friends who have known each other for a long time.

If you’re desperate for a science fiction film that does its best to offer a concept that is completely ‘special effects and explosions-free’ then you’ll certainly find one here.  I did find it a little hard going in places and it feels more like a straight-to-DVD film than anything you’d actually pay to watch in the cinema.

6/10 Should probably keep you awake if Freddy Krueger was haunting your nights

The Cloverfield Paradox – Only just ‘Cloverfield’

It seemed that the majority of movie-goers enjoyed the first ‘Cloverfield’ film where an alien the size of Godzilla rampages its way through New York (even if most of us didn’t quite understand why the film was called ‘Cloverfield’ in the first place.  Then came it’s ‘sequel’ (notice the use of quote marks there?) which used the ‘Cloverfield’ name in its title and yet bore little similarities to the original.  Now, we have ‘The Cloverfield Paradox.’ I guess that at least this time I didn’t expect it to instantly tie in to either of the previous two – and I was kind of right.

‘Part III’ seems to be a pretty generic horror movie set in space with a couple of scenes thrown in there which sort of pull it into the ‘shared universe’ that’s apparently being created.  It feels a lot more like ‘Alien’ or ‘Event Horizon’ where the crew of a space station orbiting Earth suddenly find themselves teleported to the other side of the sun, wondering how they got there and what the mysterious happenings are on board.

It’s worth noting that this film has been released straight to Netflix, which is becoming the new way we used to say ‘straight to video/DVD.’ It’s budget is acceptable and the sets are reasonably space age, until you have things that happen involving severed limbs which can move on their own.  Then I started raising an eyebrow at the blatant use of CGI.  The ‘strange happenings’ on board soon start becoming fatal and our cast begin to drop one by one, leaving it feeling more like an old-school ‘slasher’ film set in space.  It does its best to try and make up for this by being a little more scientific than your average ‘monster movie in space’ and for that, it does succeed.

There are those films where you can easily check your phone or pop out for a cup of tea.  Probably not best to do that here, as it won’t just be a case as you’ve missed a crew-member’s demise, but the story has skipped settings (I won’t go into detail about what I mean by ‘settings’ as I don’t want to give away too much!) and you’ll actually miss a vital plot point.

Now, it may just be my love of the ‘IT Crowd,’ but – for me – the stand-out performance went to Chris O’Dowd, who possibly relied on his ability for humour to own every scene he was in.  The rest of the cast are also functional for what they’re used for, but you probably won’t really remember any of the characters; names (I even just referred to Chris O’Dowd’s engineer-character as ‘Roy!’).

If you have Netflix and are generally a fan of sci-fi and/or horror then this is a decent enough little film to while away an hour and a half.  However, don’t look at it as much to do with the first two films – see the ‘Cloverfield’ films as more of a sci-fi anthology than a continuous series.  This is one sequel where you really don’t need to have watched anything that came before it to really understand what’s going on (okay, maybe apart from the very last shot of the movie!).

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that

Paper Towns – One for the youth

There are some films designed for multiple generations.  Which adult hasn’t enjoyed ‘Toy Story’ equally as much as their child (only on different levels!)?  However, ‘Paper Towns’ seems to be one of those ‘young adult’ tales that can only really be believed if you haven’t really lived that long in life (yes, I’m an old cynic).  It’s the typical ‘boy meets girl’ story where the two of them grow up together – as friends, obviously – only for her to start partying hard during her late teens, while he studies hard for later life.  Naturally, once their circles have moved in different directions, he assumes they’ll never get together – until she appears at his bedroom window one night, asking to borrow his car. 

Now, the boy and girl in question – Quentin and Margo – are both likable enough (and played respectively by Nat Wolff and Cara Delevingne – who, despite what some people say, is actually quite a good young actress who can put on a decent enough American accent), as are their group of friends.  So the cast are a fun bunch of people who you will feel drawn to (even if they do offer little new in terms of ‘stereotypical American teens’).  The problems I can with ‘Paper Towns’ simply came in the form of its pacing and general believability. 

The first third of the movie is Nat and Cara, cheering fully tearing up the town in a wild night of throwing caution to the wind and general mayhem.  This is fair enough if this is how the whole film was.  However, and hopefully I’m not including a spoiler here, Cara then disappears in one of her character’s trademark ‘mysteries’ leaving the rest of the cast wondering where she’s gone and how they can find her.  And so, for fans of Cara, they may feel a little short-changed by her sudden lack of screen time, as the rest of the movie is taken up with the rest of the cast’s road-trip as they try to solve the mystery of where she went to and why.

I think I’ve probably said enough about the plot, so I won’t spoil what happens, only to say that – despite the lack of the ‘other half’ on the love interest part of the story – there are a few things even a hardened cynic such as myself didn’t see coming.  It seems that whether people love or hate this film depends on how they feel about its ending.  Personally, I really enjoyed how they wrapped it up – my only beef was about how the rest of the story was pretty unbelievable.  However, what do I know?  I’m clearly not this film’s demographic – my thirteen year old daughter absolutely loved it, so fair play to the millennials if they appreciate it more than me!

5/10 a hard trek, a bit like unicycling to Mordor and back

The Bridge on the River Kwai – Captain Ahab must get his bridge

There are many Second World War films that will definitely stand the tests of time and be looked at as – almost – ‘historical’ representations of the events that transpired.  I’m not entirely sure that ‘The Bridge on the River Kwai’ will be one of those, as it’s far too ‘niche’ to maintain its popularity, but that doesn’t mean that it’s a bad film.  For a start, if you’re looking for huge ‘Saving Private Ryan’ style battles involving the heroic Allies blasting their way through legions of German troops, you’ll be very disappointed here.  With the exception of a couple of brief shoot-outs and the odd knife to the back, there’s little in the way of action here.

It’s about an unfortunate bunch of British (mainly) prisoners of war who are incarcerated in a Japanese POW camp.  There, they’re forced to help build a bridge (over the river Kwai, believe it or not!) in order to aid the Japanese war effort.  You may think that a WWII film based around a POW camp would mean that our plucky Brits would spend their time and efforts devising new and ingenious ways to tunnel their way out of there.  Not here.  The camp doesn’t even have any fences due to it being on an island, therefore there’s nowhere really to escape if they tried. 

Instead, the story predominantly focuses on two character – one is the Japanese warden who runs the facility and the other is the British officer ‘in charge’ of the captive prisoners (there’s also a sub-plot regarding how the rest of the Allied war effort perceives the camp and what they’re doing about it, but that’s secondary to the one-on-one between the two leads in my opinion).

Now, I wouldn’t go as far as saying you’d be able to ‘identify’ with the Japanese guard, but you will definitely get to know him and his motivations and, dare I say it, his character even develops as the film progresses.  However, the most interesting character is his British opposite, played by none other than (the original) Obi-wan Kenobi himself, Sir Alec Guinness.  He’s a man in charge of both keeping his soldiers’ morale up, but also the ‘good name’ of the British army/Empire.  He’ll go to almost any lengths to ensure that neither are brought down in reputation in any way.  And, his choices lead to some interesting outcomes which I won’t go into in great details here.

So, if you’re looking for an outright war film, you won’t really find it here.  Instead, you’ll get (quite a long) character study about stubborn madness, maybe even a little ‘Stockholm Syndrome’ and – what I perceived as – a variation on the ‘Captain Ahab and his whale’ type story.  Alternatively, if you’re just looking to see what old Ben Kenobi looked like without a lightsabre, you’ll find that here, too.

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that

Black Panther – Welcome to the shared universe, Your Highness

‘Black Panther’ has received a lot of hype surround it being the first superhero film with a black leading man (even though that mantel probably should have gone to 1997’s ‘Spawn,’ but it is correct at least in terms of the current Marvel Shared Universe).  However, I really don’t believe its success will have much to do with anything so shallow.  In short: it’s a modern day Marvel film and, if you’re a regular at the multiplexes, you’ll probably already know what to expect: a hero with superpowers taking on – basically – an evil version of themselves.  So, if that’s what you’re into (and current Box Office trends says that many of us are!) then you’re going to enjoy this just as much as ‘Iron Man, Thor’ and all the others.  The reason: it’s just a cool, colourful, charismatic film which is great to eat popcorn to.

It’s set just after ‘Captain America: Civil War,’ but perhaps one of the first things I should mention is that you don’t really need to have seen any other films in the MCU to fully understand everything that happens here.  We meet up with King T'Challa of (fictional African nation) Wakanda who, along with ruling his nation since the recent death of his father, also moonlights as the super-powered ‘Black Panther,’ who, as yet, has kept his and his country’s ‘special’ abilities a secret from the rest of the world.  Now, faced with exposure of just what Wakanda is capable of, he is faced with whether to continue its current way of existing, or enter the fray (which will no doubt take him further into the path of the Avengers and their exploits).

So, there’s nothing new in terms of plot, but it’s definitely a distant cousin of the recent Marvel movie ‘Thor: Ragnarok’ in terms of its look and feel.  It’s very colouring to look at (nothing DC-like by being all ‘dark and gritty’ here!) – you may even say its looks like a ‘living comic book!).  It’s a great-looking film visually, but, if you’re being overly-critical, you could say that there’s a little too much CGI, especially in the backdrops.  I know this is a criticism levelled at all ‘fantastical’ films where whole new planets/civilisations have to be created, but sometimes you can tell the King is talking to someone up against a greenscreen.

Also, it’s worth noting that there isn’t – quite – as much humour in this film as other recent Marvel entries.  I guess this is down to – sort of – handicapping its leading man by making him a King.  Before, we’ve had leading men who are gods/thieves/playboy billionaires – all of whom are allowed the freedom to let a witty quip roll of their tongues at a moment’s notice.  However, here, if the Black Panther did that, it would probably feel a little out of character.  Luckily, the film makes up for this by surrounding him with a stellar supporting cast who are well-schooled in letting off steam with a one-liner or two.

Overall, ‘Black Panther’ is just another excellent and enjoyable thrill ride in the Marvel universe.  Don’t expect anything too deep or revolutionary – just expect a good time and be prepared to bow at not just His Majesty – the King of Wakanda – but also yet another amazingly-successful in a film franchise that never seems to be able to run out of steam.

8/10 The Force is definitely strong with this one

La Femme Nikita – Ground-breaking assassin flick

I think I probably watched this film at the wrong time.  I first saw the American-language remake ‘Assassin’ back in the early nineties and have only just got round to watching the film it was based on, ‘Nikita’ (or ‘La Femme Nikita’ to be precise).  Therefore, it’s hard to accept that the French version is the original source material and not the remake.  Both stay pretty much on the same story-telling path, telling the tale of a down-and-out, drug-addled young woman, killing a police officer in a burglary gone wrong, but eluding the death penalty in favour of working for a secret government agency to ‘off’ those who need disappearing.  Yes, the plot is possibly a little far-fetched, but, if you can suspend your disbelief long enough, you’ll find that it’s well worth it.

What you get is the story of a tortured soul who’s trying to make a fresh start of her life and yet keeps finding herself dragged back into the covert ways of the spy agency to do their dirty work.  You will definitely feel for the lead and the writing is pretty solid for her and all those she encounters.  It’s one of those rare films where there isn’t a discernible ‘baddie’ to take on.  The ‘bad-guy’ (if it can be considered so) is the situation she’s found herself in and her attempts to – once again – change her life for the better and truly escape the shackles she’s found herself in – whether a slave to drug abuse or the government’s whims.

I think the best thing about Nikita is its realism (yes, I know I’ve already said you have to suspend your disbelief to appreciate it, but hear me out…) – in many modern films where the lead is a female action hero who spends her time beating up dozens of burly men who stand in her way, you feel that – although cool to look at – it may not happen that way in real life.  However, in Nikita she never uses her physical strength to overpower and take-down her targets.  Instead, she uses her wits and deadeye with a sniper’s rifle to get the dirty job done (and get home in time for tea with her new fella).

I’m glad I’ve watched the original.  It’s a decent film which blends action with genuine emotion for the characters, plus it’s worth noting that it was good enough to inspire whoever greenlit its American remake NOT to change it so much that it’s barely recognisable and remained true to what made it great in the first place.

8/10 The Force is definitely strong with this one

The 15:17 to Paris – Know what you’re getting

I have to confess I didn’t research this film to any great extent before I sat down to watch it.  However, the two things I did know – mainly courtesy of all marketing – was that it was based on the true story of three men who foil a terrorist attack on a train and that it was directed by Clint Eastwood.  Both seemed like equally good reasons to watch the film.  And – technically – both of those statements are correct.  However, I guess because the promotional material seemed to focus so much on the ‘terrorist attack’ that I expected something more like ‘Under Siege 2’ or ‘The Commuter’ than what I got.

The film starts off with the three Americans as young boys and shows us how they meet.  First of all I wasn’t that impressed with the acting ability of the boys and was quite pleased when this segment ended.  Then we get our first glimpse of what’s to come, i.e. something bad happening on a busy commuter train in Europe.  And then we’re back to the boys again.  Only now they’re young men and we see what they’re doing once they’ve left education.  Only we mainly just focus on one of the three.  The other two seem to get relegated into secondary characters.  Cue another flash-forward to the terrifying events on the train and we get back to the men travelling round Europe.  Then the bit on the train happens.  Then the film ends.

Now, you may think I’m being quite cynical and scathing towards the film, but I did actually enjoy it.  I just thought it was going to be something it wasn’t.  Once the child-actors are out of the way the adults take over and they’re all decent enough heroes who you find yourself able to root for.  Clint Eastwood’s direction is nothing special, but it’s functional approach works well with the subject matter, i.e. overly-stylish camerawork and effects would seem well over the top and out of place in this film.

It’s not a bad film, but I think any audience needs to know that what they’re sitting down for is some sort of drama about regular guys (who then happen to get caught up in a terrorist attack).  If you go in expecting ‘Die Hard on a train’ then you’re going to leave thoroughly disappointed.  It’s a slow, character-driven piece that is deliberately underwhelming in order to show how real life terrorist attacks differ to the Hollywood representation.  If you’re in the mood for something slow, serious and with meaning then you should enjoy this.

6/10 Should probably keep you awake if Freddy Krueger was haunting your nights

Now You See Me 2 – A trick too far

The original ‘Now You See Me’ film was an incredibly enjoyable affair.  It was possibly one of the finest examples of how, if you were willing to suspend your disbelief to epic levels, you really could have a great time watching it.  It was Hollywood glitz and popcorn-munching fun all the way through.  The – A-list – cast was perfect and played off each other brilliantly, depicting a quartet of modern day Robin Hood-style magicians who stole from the rich and corrupted through the use of their dazzling illusions and, in turn, gave back to the poor.  I suppose its success basically guaranteed a sequel would be greenlit.  And, where I do give the film credit for doing its best to follow-on closely from the events in the first outing, this time round it’s just too unbelievable to be convincing – no matter how hard you try to suspend your disbelief.

I really wanted to like this film – and I guess I did.  There were plenty of neat moments here and there, it’s just I wanted to like it a LOT.  And I didn’t.  The story picks up a little while after the events of the first one and the most noticeable difference for me was the fact that Isla Fisher hasn’t returned this time round.  She’s therefore instantly replaced by another female magician who slots into the team a little too well.  Then we get to the meat of the story where the twists and turns start to overtake general common sense and credibility.

The rest of the cast return, but the main newcomer is Daniel Radcliffe who entraps the magicians in an attempt to use their collective skills to steal something for him.  And, as I mentioned, the ‘magic’ set-pieces are indeed well-filmed and cool to watch.  However, the story just doesn’t add up.  One of the main complaints from the first one was the ‘twist’ which left some viewers feeling a little short-changed.  Here, the film tries to ‘out-twist’ the original by taking the story in all sorts of directions which leave you truly confused as to who is on who’s side and who is trying to double-cross who.

I know that part of the fun with watching magicians perform is trying to guess how the trick is done.  With the first film you could just about believe that the feats they carry out could just about be actually real if all the circumstances were just right.  In the sequel, everything feels a little cheap as you naturally try to predict how they accomplish these feats, only to find out that the ways they do them are tantamount impossible.

Overall, it’s an enjoyable enough film, but it does try to be a little too clever for its own good and therefore ends up being too unbelievable to be credible.

6/10 Should probably keep you awake if Freddy Krueger was haunting your nights

The Brothers Grimsby – Not as bad as you’ve heard

I recently watched an online survey video on Youtube about the stars who had – in their words – ‘lost their shine.’ I was surprised to see that Sacha Baron Cohen’s name was on there, largely to do with ‘The Brothers Grimsby’ (or just ‘Grimsby’ in some cases).  I saw the trailer in the cinema and it looked pretty funny (doesn’t it always?), but couldn’t see that it was destined to bomb.

It’s sort of a ‘buddy-cop’ film where a pair of mismatched individuals have to work together in order to solve X, Y or Z.  In this case, we have a pair of mismatched spies – one (Baron Cohen) is a slob from Grimsby, while the other is his long lost younger brother who is now a genuine suave, super-spy (Mark Strong).  Now, I’m a big fan of the pair of them and was looking forwards to seeing how they interact on the big screen, plus I own pretty much ever Sacha Baron Cohen film to date. However, now I’ve watched it, I can see why it didn’t do him any favours.

I’d say that the first third is probably the best section of the film.  It is genuinely funny and there were a fair few ‘laugh out loud’ moments.  It centres on the pair of brothers meeting and the set-up for their mission established.  And, yes, Baron Cohen and Strong do play off each other well (in fact, I swear there are some shots which had to be cut short due to Mark Strong trying not to laugh at his co-star’s antics!).  The film feels like an extended episode of ‘Shameless’ (only with more stylised gunplay) and works best when it’s actually set in Grimsby itself (although I do wonder what the real residents of Grimsby will make of the way they’re being portrayed on screen!).

Unfortunately, the action moves away from the titular town and begins to traverse the globe.  This is where things start unravelling.  There are still funny moments and many do land, however it’s not half as slick as its opening.  This wouldn’t be too bad if it wasn’t for the fact that the film includes between 1-3 (depending on your opinion) moments that are simply too over-the-top.  I was happy to suspend my disbelief in order to make the plot/gags work, but sometimes things go too far – as if Baron Cohen is trying too hard to shock in order to get laughs.  These bits stick out as annoying and just cringe-worthy in a film which is actually reasonably solid.

I enjoyed the film, simply because more parts of it worked that didn’t.  However, as I mentioned, due to those few scenes which just stick in your mind for all the wrong reasons, I can see how it won’t have helped Sacha baron Cohen’s star remain sparkling.

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that

Den of Thieves – Better than I could possibly imagine

I didn’t expect much when I sat down to watch ‘Den of Thieves.’ Gerard Butler’s Box Office draw has long since faded and there were no other major stars attached.  All I knew was that the film was ‘long’ (well over two hours) and I even pictured myself walking out about half way if it really didn’t grab me.  Luckily, I was hooked long before the middle of the film!

If you’re bored of your typical ‘cops and robbers’ film, then this one does its best to be a little original.  The two things that stood out for me were the facts that it wasn’t so much ‘cops and robbers,’ as it was ‘bad cops and bad robbers.’ Seriously, the police didn’t act that much better than those who were robbing from banks in L.A. and gunning down anyone who tried to stop them.  The second thing was that normally this kind of film just concentrates on the cops who are out to catch the villains.  However, this time it felt like the robbers got equal screen time to those out to thwart them.  In fact, Gerard Butler was about the only officer of the law who you really got to know (out of his squad of about six men).  You actually got to see a lot more of the robbers’ home life and therefore understood their motivations (on top of just getting rich!).

I don’t want to give away too much of the plot, but you get the sense that this could go either way.  Will the robbers get their big score?  Will there be a twist or turn in the proceedings and, of course, who will make it out alive?  It is pretty violent, so expect a fair few scenes of torture, gunplay and general foul behaviour (and that’s just from the police!).

If the film does have a flaw then it’s the length.  I mentioned it was well over two hours and, although a lot of this is spent on establishing the characters, there are a few scenes (all of which involving Gerard Butler’s on-screen family) which drag and really do slow the pace down.  In some places I was just desperate for the bank-robbing portion of the story to start up again.  However, that’s a minor gripe.  I totally intend to buy this on DVD when it comes out and therefore may just skip those few scenes which I felt don’t really add that much.  Ultimately, if you’re looking for an excellent and action-packed, gritty cop thriller then this one will definitely keep you entertained.  Gerard Butler seems to have found his feet again after that awful ‘London Has Fallen’ nonsense!

8/10 The Force is definitely strong with this one

The World's End - Good fun (but not classic Pegg/Frost)

‘The World’s End’ marks the last (?) in the ‘blood and cornettos’ trilogy (aka Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz and now this), but it has been the least well-received of the three.  Instead of horror or action, now the team behind the films parody science fiction.  It’s about five forty-something men who decide to attempt a ‘legendary’ pub crawl which they failed at during their youth.  However, this – unfortunately – coincides with a most sinister alien presence that’s started to take over their town.

The first thing I found was that it wasn’t as funny as the previous two.  Therefore, I was in the process of NOT enjoying it that much, until about half way through when the ‘character-building’ part of the tale ended and the action really kicked off.  About halfway through when the evil reveals itself, the film changes gear and moves away from (attempted?) humour to action and science fiction.

I kind of felt it worked a lot better as sci-fi rather than comedy.  Plus, whereas we’re used to seeing the film’s star – Simon Pegg – as a usual bumbling but lovable character, here he breaks form and comes across as a bit of an insufferable berk.  He’s actually pretty annoying for most of the first half, but luckily tones it down for the second leg.

Basically, if you’re hoping for something equally humorous as ‘Shaun’ and ‘Fuzz’ then you probably won’t find it here.  However, if you’re a fan of action and sci-fi then the second half will probably save it for you and tick all your boxes.

It’s also worth noting that a lot of people disapproved of the ending.  I certainly thought it was bold if nothing else!

8/10 The Force is definitely strong with this one