Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011) - Spectacles Paperwork Meetings Suits  

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is slow. Sometimes that's a bad thing, but, on this occasion, it's deliberately so. It takes some of the best British actors (and Colin Firth) and uses them subtly as spies and spy-catchers in an interweaving spy story. I might use the word `thriller' to describe it, but I don't think it's meant to be particularly thrilling.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is not James Bond. It makes no bones about that. Don't expect car chases or Bond girls (the best you get there is Kathy Burke!). Instead, you have a more realistic portrayal of spies in the midst of Cold War Britain, showing us the `old boys' network that lurks among the corridors of power in British politics.

If you like your mysteries deep and your performances intense then this is the film for you. It's already received rave reviews and award nominations for its cast. Basically, you're looking at either a 4/5 rating of even a 5/5.

Sadly, I'm a philistine and I crave noisy explosions, exotic locations and bikini-clad lovelies collecting shells on sandy beaches. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy bored the hell out of me and I turned it off on about the hour mark. I just got sick of men in glasses and suits walking in and out of rooms to talk to someone or pick up some paperwork.

Many people will love this film. Fair play to them - they're probably right. It just wasn't for me. All I was left with was a gasping craving for a Vodka-Martini and a sports car that drove underwater.

5/10 a hard trek, a bit like unicycling to Mordor and back