Siren - A failure on every level

It's hard to believe that any film can get so much so wrong all at once.

Siren has no major stars in it and is a self-confessed horror film. Therefore, the best the film-makers were probably hoping for was that it attained a cult following on DVD. I doubt it will.

For a start the cover is misleading. It shows three bikini-clad women's bodies on the front. There are only two women in the whole movie (and only one ever wears a bikini slightly near the end of the film). Secondly, the tagline describes the film as `The best supernatural thriller since Dead Calm.' First of all Dead Calm was released over twenty years ago and it wasn't supernatural. The only similarity is that both films have boats in them.

Then we have the film itself: three of the most unlikeable people in the world take a boat trip and end up getting stuck on an island with - you guessed it - a siren. Despite not heeding the obligatory warning from the clichéd old geezer at the boating station about sailing too close to the rock and getting caught by supernatural beings, they do it anyway. Do we care? Probably not by now as we're so sick of watching these people.

Anyone hoping for vague titillation will be disappointed. You see two women naked from the back and they kiss a couple of times. No nudity. Not even lots of bikini-clad women.

The horror. There isn't much. There's hardly any in the film at all. When it tries to be scary about three quarters of the way through, it just feels confusing.

It's one plus point - it was short. However, the 1 hr 16 minutes felt a lot longer than it actually way!
Just don't bother with this one.

1/10 This might as well have been written, directed and produced by Uwe Boll