G.I. Joe: Retaliation - Wow - possibly the most average film ever

I've just watched G.I. Joe: Retaliation and I can honestly say I can hardly remember anything about it. I never played with the toys, or read the comics when I was little, so my first experience of the franchise was from the 2009 movie - which I actually enjoyed. The first film was a daft, silly little action affair. You could tell it was based on some sort of comic book and the characters were bright and colourful. All in all, a lot of fun.

Therefore, I expected the same with its sequel. Plus I'm a fan of both Dwayne Johnson and Bruce Willis, so I couldn't see how I could be disappointed. However, I am.

There's not a thing I can say positive about G.I. Joe: Retaliation, but then there's absolutely nothing negative I can say either. It's failed to leave any sort of impression on me at all. I seem to remember it had explosions and guns and stuff, but it was all jumbled and seemed to lack any cohesion or charm (plus, if you're a fan of Bruce Willis then you should be warned that he doesn't come into the story until fifty minutes and has a total of about five minutes screen time all in all).

Perhaps the problem with any film which involves numerous `central' characters is that you can't get a feel for them all because there simply isn't enough time to flesh them all out. Some films just about pull it off (ala X-Men), but G.I. Joe: Retaliation doesn't. There are too many people doing too many things that don't really tie up - or don't tie up enough to really make this film little more than a collection of loosely-connected scenes where things explode.

Yes, it's an action movie. And it has action. But little else. It's not bad, but it's just not good either. If you have a spare hour and a half to kill, then you could do worse, but you could also do much, much better.

5/10 a hard trek, a bit like unicycling to Mordor and back