Dracula Untold - The story probably should have remained ‘untold’

Okay, so that’s a little harsh. ‘Dracula Untold’ is hardly the worst film ever made.  And, yes, I did manage to sit through it feeling mildly entertained.  It was just that it didn’t really contain anything in it that I hadn’t already seen a hundred times before.

In the current filmic world we live in where every story has to be retold, remade, or re-imagined, we now get a glimpse at how the legendary vampire, Dracula, became the man (or monster?) he was.  What you have is a pretty formulaic action/adventure film that could have been rewritten about anyone really.  Drac used to be a warrior.  He gets into a spot of bother with an army who want his kingdom’s first born sons, so he beefs himself up at the gym and fights them off.  Okay, so maybe not at the gym.  Instead, he allows Charles Dance to turn him into a superpowered monster known as - guess what - a 'vampire.'

What follows is one CGI created battle after the next.  Nothing I haven’t seen before.  I know this is a minor point and it’s probably unfair to slate a film based on its budget, but everything from the action to the landscapes were blatantly digital, it’s like watching a ‘cut-scene’ on a Playstation game.

However, greats like ‘300’ did that and most people loved them.  At least '300' was a bit different and fun. 'Dracula Untold' just seems like it’s nothing new.  Plus the characters are pretty bland.  Both hero and villain could probably have been played by any actor who looked vaguely heroic/villainous.  Plus Drac also has the most wimpy little boy as a son ever featured in a film.  You may think that the son of a mighty warlord (even before he became a vampire!) might be a little tougher.  You’d be wrong.  His constant sniveling and floppy curly hair annoyed me! 

All in all, 'Dracula Untold' isn’t a bad film, it’s just not original enough to warrant a viewing from any seasoned film fan (just like I said for ‘I Frankenstein!’) and doesn’t offer anything you haven’t seen a hundred times before – and better.  Apparently, the film-makers originally wanted this to kick off their shared 'Monsterverse.' However, when it became clear that this was hardy destined to set the Box Office ablaze, they decided to wait until they had 'star power' on their side and kick it all off with Tom Cruise's 'The Mummy.'

And, on a different note, is it just me or is Drac able to make love while wearing leather trousers at all times – watch out for that scene and see if you can see what I mean!

6/10 Should probably keep you awake if Freddy Krueger was haunting your nights