Double Dragon - Not (quite) as bad as it’s made out to be

The first thing you need to know is that ‘Double Dragon’ is based on a computer game.  And, as any seasoned cinema-goer will know, any film based on a computer game is often not worth the celluloid it’s made with.  And, as with Streetfighter, Super Mario Bros and House of the Dead, Double Dragon is pretty bad.  But not that bad… although certain conditions apply to that statement.

I grew up in the eighties and played the original Double Dragon video game religiously, therefore I’m always going to look upon the film version through slightly rose-coloured spectacles.  Secondly, I seem to have a mild appreciation for really ‘so-bad-they’re-good’ films and this is so bad it’s good.

It’s about brothers, Billy and Jimmy Lee, growing up after some sort of great earthquake in a rebuilt Los Angeles.  The police struck a deal with the gangs that no ‘gang warfare’ or crime will take place during the day, putting a curfew in place at night where law-abiding citizens can hide away from the hooligans who rule the streets during the dark.  They find half of a magic medallion which isn’t really that magic.  Although it would be if the other half was found.  And the other half is in the possession of the leader of the gangs – the T1000 himself with a really bad haircut – Robert Patrick.

I think one of the main reasons Double Dragon is widely regarded as such a flop is because it really didn’t have the budget to be anything special.  It kind of comes across as a ‘made-for-TV’ movie and the script is pretty awful.  Even Robert Patrick (normally reliable in everything he does), struggles to bring anything to his role as ‘generic bad-guy.’ Plus the film is rated ‘12’ yet I think that’s a little strict.  I’d say the primary audience for this film is eight-year-old boys who are watching this on a Saturday morning.  A film based on fighting should at least have some violence in it, however all the fight scenes are almost comical with the heroes using everything from frying pans to random object to despatch their foes.  Oh, that brings me onto the foes.  The gangs Billy and Jimmy fight seem to be dressed in completely different uniforms to each other.  It’s like watching the two boys beat up the Village People.  Seriously, you have one gang member in a bowler hat and suit, one dressed as a workman, one as a postman and so on.

Unless you’re like me and loved the computer game, or can appreciate camp rubbish films like this, you’ll have to be a young boy to get anything out of this.  I’ve now re-watched Double Dragon and, although it killed an hour and a half of my time, the fact that the two heroes spent much of their screen time screaming (supposedly) ‘comically’ into the camera even started to get on my nerves. 

But it was fun – silly fun.  Pretty bad, but I’ve seen worse (House of the Dead – I’m looking at you!).

6/10 Should probably keep you awake if Freddy Krueger was haunting your nights