Don’t Breathe – Don’t bother

Sometimes a films sounds better on paper than it does when it’s actually in front of you.  I’d vaguely heard of the film ‘Don’t Breathe.’ I knew it was a horror film and found out enough about the plot to interest me.  It’s about a trio of youths who like to spend their days burgling houses.  Yes, a real group of protagonists you can identify with and root for – NOT!  Okay, so the female of the three is okay-ish.  We get enough backstory regarding her wanting to help out her family and take them away to a better future, but you can’t really get around the fact that they steal things for a living.

Therefore, one day they think they’re in for a ’free lunch’ when they decide to break into a house that stands all on its own with the promise of great rewards to come.  However, things don’t go entirely to plan when it turns out that the old man who lives there is not someone you want to mess with (or even know!).  Imagine breaking into Jason Voorhees’ sitting room and you’re sort of in the right area.  Basically, what starts out as a routine cash grab turns into the three being stalked mercilessly for their lives.

So, it kind of sounds interesting, i.e. turning the initial bad guys into the unwitting victims.  Sadly, it just didn’t work out for me.  As you’ve probably guessed, I didn’t care much for the three kids and felt that the way we were supposed to care for the girl felt forced just so we feel something for her eventual plight.  Plus there was the fact that I never really bought into the fact that they were unable to escape from a house.  This isn’t some giant country mansion with sprawling corridors and secret passageways.  It’s not far off your average detached house you’d see on most streets (I had the same complaint for the horror film ‘The Collector!’).  Then there was the way it was generally shot – it was too damn dark!  I know that darkness goes hand in hand with horror movies and that it’s a film-maker’s tool to add atmosphere to the generally grim feel, but I just found I couldn’t make out what was going on!

All in all, if you don’t watch an awful lot of horror films and just feel like something that’s a little dark with a few jump scares and token blood and gore, then this will probably foot the bill.  However, if – like me – you’ve seen every kind of maniac wear every kind of hockey mask despatching every type of teenage in every style of gruesome fashion, then this really doesn’t offer enough that’s new to really leave an impact.  Yup, pretty much already forgotten most of it.

5/10 a hard trek, a bit like unicycling to Mordor and back