The Cottage - It’s fun at the Serkis

Andy Serkis.  If you know your films (mainly post 'Lord of the Rings') you’ll probably know him best for being the man behind the (completely computer-generated) 'Gollum' and then dozens other equally digital Hollywood creations, or possible directing the superhero film 'Venom.'  However, it’s rare that the man behind the effects gets to shine.  Granted (and no offense Mr Serkis if by some fluke he ever reads this!) he’s not exactly picture perfect leading man material, but he sure is fun to watch in the right setting.

Here, in this low budget British horror ‘The Cottage,’ he plays one half of a pair of inept brothers who are trying to get rich quick by kidnapping the (borderline indestructible Jennifer Ellison) teenage daughter of local kingpin ‘Arnie’ and holding up in the titular 'cottage.’ Now, bearing in mind that the brothers are hardly the Kray twins, this would be dangerous enough.  However, their plight isn’t exactly aided by Jennifer Ellison being possibly the most difficult victim ever tied to a bed and gagged.  Oh, and did I mention the locals aren’t too friendly either?

What you’re left with is a pretty low budget, but very gruesome ninety minutes of fun.  Yes, it’s not Oscar worthy and the special effects aren’t that special in places (I’m talking about possibly one of the most blatant ‘full face masks’ ever committed to the silver screen.  But that doesn’t matter.  Serkis carries the film alone, but that’s not to say that his (henpecked) brother, played by Reece Shearsmith doesn’t deserve a mention (especially due to his inexplainable fear of moths) and then you have Jennifer Ellison who is just wonderfully obtuse (and foul-mouthed) at every turn.

Don’t expect Shakespeare, just expect deliciously over-the-top fun (with severed body parts aplenty).

8/10 The Force is definitely strong with this one