The Beastmaster - So bad (and yet sooooo good)

To begin this review I’m going to talk about The Dark Knight Rises – a film I really enjoyed, so I gave it 8/10.  And, in case you haven’t already noticed, I’m also giving Beastmaster 8/10  So, does that mean the two films are as good as each other.

No.  The 8/10 I’m giving Beastmaster is a completely different 8/10 to what Christopher Nolan’s last Batman outing got.  This is because you can’t really compare the two films.  The Dark Knight Rises was an excellent film, made with a massive budget which allowed for great special effects, sets and an A-list cast who turned in excellent performances (the only reason I didn’t give it 10/10 was because I didn’t think it was quite as good as The Dark Knight).  Beastmaster, on the other hand, is made on a shoestring budget, contains pretty awful special effects, terrible dialogue and actors who are mainly just there because their ‘body-type’ fits the part (if you know what I mean).  Yet, despite all its (clearly obvious) flaws, it’s just so much fun to watch.

Marc Singer (who you’ll probably only know if you saw the eighties sci-fi show ‘V’) plays Dar, a Conan-like figure who can communicate with animals (well... the ones which the story dictates he needs to.  You may wonder why he can’t make all the enemies’ horses simply throw their riders, but never mind).  He sets off on an adventure to kill someone, or avenge someone, or rescue someone else.  It really doesn’t matter.

If you’ve seen films like Krull, Masters of the Universe, Red Sonja and other such eighties ‘classics’ then you’ll know what to expect here.  These films shouldn’t be judged on the same scales as Hollywood blockbusters like the Dark Knight trilogy and so on.  They should have their own so-bad-they’re-good scale, in which this definitely deserves a 8/10.

Not everyone will love it.  It will probably only appeal to those who either (like me) watched it when I was a kid, therefore it carries plenty of nostalgia for me.  Or those who simply like cheesy movies (especially ones set in the eighties).  If you do, then Beastmaster will be a gentle way of filming an hour and a half.

And, if you’re male, you’ll probably enjoy Tanya Roberts’ ‘performance’ (or at least her choice of wardrobe).

8/10 The Force is definitely strong with this one