Dolls - Got myself a crying, walking, killing, talking... living doll!

I’ve been watching ‘Dolls’ every few years since I first saw it near its original release in the eighties.  It’s fair to say that it’s a classic (for what it is).  That doesn’t mean that everything about it is perfect, but it does do the job if you’re looking for something short, sweet and pretty scary.

As a guy, I’ve – obviously! – had very little interest in children’s (or should I say girls’?) dolls.  I always did find their blank, staring expressions, their perfectly-powered rosy cheeks and their overly-chiselled cheekbones a little unsettling.  Perhaps that makes me the perfect demographic to get the most out of this film?

Basically, during one of those types of storms you only really get in horror movies, various strangers all seek refuge in one of those creepy old mansions in the middle of nowhere (that also always seem to turn up in horror movies).  There, they encounter more than they bargain for when they meet the occupants.  And I’m not talking about the softly-spoken, perfectly polite old English couple who live there.  It’s their murderous ‘creations’ who cause the problems.  And guess what they create? (Clue: there’s a hint in the title)

So, what you’re left with is a quite a short film that charts the survival of the humans as they taken on a whole swarm of Barbie’s evil cousins.  If you like the sound of that, you’ll probably enjoy it.  As I mentioned, it’s not perfect.  Some of the actors’ performances are pretty atrocious and others seem to try and over-act as if to compensate.

But we don’t really watch horror films for great acting performances, do we?  It’s the dolls who steal the show.  And they do it well, even without any formal acting lessons behind them.  The gore flows nicely, as you’d expect from an eighties B-movie and everything rolls along nicely.

Special mention to the human ‘villains,’ who, despite creating hordes of evil, murderous dolls, seem to be strangely likeable – a rarity in any film, let alone a horror film.

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that