Rumpelstiltskin - If Arnie was a hobgoblin

I do love a great eighties horror film.  They’re so bad they’re good.  Therefore, I was delighted when I found ‘Rumpelstiltskin’ on Netflix and wondered how I managed to miss this one during the eighties.  Then, about halfway through, I realised (with a little help from the internet) that it was actually made in the nineties.  I don’t really know why I feel the need to mention that so early – perhaps because the film simply feels like it was made in the eighties.  That and because I couldn’t get the Terminator out of my head.

Rumpelstiltskin is a – sort of – modern take on the fairy tale about the little man who tries to steal babies unless you can guess his name.  He was happily kiddie-snatching all those hundreds of years ago when a crafty old witch only caught him in the act and banished him into a statue.  Then, in the eighties (yes, I still refuse to believe that this was filmed in the nineties) he’s thawed out, yadder, yadder, yadder and now he’s after another mum with another baby.

And, in my opinion, it kind of felt like the original Terminator film.  There was an unstoppable creature hunting down a helpless woman with a man to protect her.  Okay, so Sarah Connor was lucky enough to have Kyle Reece to help her out.  Here, the female protagonist has a sleezy chat-show host to generally get in the way and wind her up.  He’s definitely no Kyle Reece, but he is pretty amusing.

Rumpelstiltskin could just be another monster B-movie, but it’s basically saved by the titular monster’s performance.  He’s just so delightfully nasty.  He’s impervious to pain and knows it.  Therefore, he likes to take his time as he stalks and terrorises all those who get in his way.

The film knows what it is and doesn’t ever try and take itself seriously.  If you like slightly tongue in cheek films with a thoroughly evil little man at the centre of it all then give this horror classic a go (especially if you can catch it on Netflix for free!).

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that