House of Wax (2005) - A masterpiece of film-making (well... sort of)

Okay, I hate to give away SPOILERS in my reviews, but with the remake of ‘House of Wax’ it’s hard not to.  Then again... if you’ve heard much about the film, you probably know what I’m referring to.

For a start, it has Paris Hilton ‘acting’ in it.  That’s right... she’s ‘acting’ in a horror movie where young people get brutally murdered in horrific and sadistic ways.  That can only lead to one outcome – and it’s the one we ALL hope to see!

To be fair, Paris Hilton isn’t as bad in this (acting-wise) as you may think.  I mean... in your average slasher film, we’re hardly used to deep and meaningful, three-dimensional characters.  They just have to look nice and die when called for.  Oddly enough, you could say that Paris has found her niche here (just don’t get me started on her other ‘acting’ exploit ‘The Hottie and the Nottie’).

Anyway, The House of Wax (or ‘remake’ as I believe it actually is – I haven’t seen the first to compare it to) is about a group of unfeasibly attractive teenagers going on a road trip, blah, blah, blah and falling foul of (what Hollywood would have us believe) the average people who live in off-beaten towns anywhere outside the major cities.  If you’ve ever seen a horror/slasher film before then you’ll know what to expect.

And it’s not so bad.  In fact, it’s an easy watch.  The first forty-five minutes are about ‘character building’ (or as much ‘character building’ as you can expect in a slasher movie), so no gore there.  Then the second half the kills start coming.  The gore is nice and the waxworks are nicely creepy.  Plus it’s a good touch trying to escape from a town made – entirely – from wax.

Overall, House of Wax is quite watchable if you’re in the mood for some sort of slasher/horror film.  Don’t let Paris Hilton’s addition to the cast list put you off.  Don’t worry... she gets what’s coming to her!

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that