The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003 remake) - Better than you’ll probably expect

Yes, the original ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ was a classic – or rather a classic if you enjoyed seeing innocent teens getting dismembered or eaten alive by sadistic inbred mutants.  But then, based on the success of the nineteen seventies slasher, a lot of people did enjoy watching that sort of thing.  So here comes the obligatory up-to-date Hollywood big budget remake.  And, believe it or not, it’s actually quite good.

No, seriously – don’t let Michael ‘Transformers’ Bay’s name on the publicity put you off.  He obviously didn’t have that much to do with it and was too busy destroying much loved eighties toy franchises to meddle in the Texas Chainsaw’s remake.  There’s none of his slow motion camerawork or explosions with those weirdly-pretty fireworks in it.

Instead, what you have is a reasonable version of the original source material.  You have the teens.  Yes, they’re hardly the most varied bunch in terms of likable characters, but they’re our heroes and they’re just about watchable enough for you to not really want them to be severed in two alive.  But no one really cares about them.  It’s the villains who steal the show.  Of course you have the hulking chainsaw-wielding psycho known only as ‘Leatherface’ who you certainly wouldn’t want to bump into in a dark alley (or small, out-of-the-way backwater American town), but it’s R. Lee Ermey who steals the show as the truly psychotic one (and he never even picks up a chainsaw!).

Yes, it’s not as ‘raw’ as the original.  It does a good job of capturing the general seventies vibe, but comes across as a much slicker production all together.  And that’s no bad thing.  It’s literally a retelling, taking most of the original’s bits and repackaging them in a slightly different way.  There’s more to the story as it’s more complex (but not really that much more complex – it’s still a guy in a skin-mask chasing kids around a field with a chainsaw).

If you like your slasher films and aren’t totally put off yet another Hollywood remake of a classic horror gem then give this one a go.  It’s a rare example of a remake that’s actually pretty good.  This and the 2004 version of Dawn of the Dead.

8/10 The Force is definitely strong with this one