The Last Witch Hunter - The generic bad-thing hunter

‘The Last Witch Hunter’ is Van Diesel’s latest action flick – and it’s pretty by-the-numbers.  It’s one of those films that you can sort of have on in the background and still know exactly what’s happening at all times.  I’m not saying that it’s bad, just that you probably won’t remember it and that you’ve seen it all before – namely in films like Van Helsing, Constantine and I Frankenstein. 

As with the other films I’ve just mentioned, you have a secret society (funded by the church in most cases) who employs a single person to despatch whatever evil is threatening humanity.  You could pretty much take out ‘witches’ from the title and replace the baddie with any other movie monster, i.e. werewolves and you’ve sort of have the same film.

Vin Diesel plays himself – a wise-cracking bad-ass that you’ve seen in almost all his other films.  And, if you’re a fan, you’ll be happy enough with his performance.  He goes about his business incarcerating computer generated witches who cast computer generated magic against computer generated backdrops with the help of one sidekick after the next.  He sort of starts off with Michael Caine, the goes through Elijah Wood and ends up with Rose Leslie (although Michael Caine’s input is little more than just an extended cameo).

Sadly, the film’s plot is pretty basic with predictable twists and not great dialogue.  There are a few good one liners to keep it amusing and not too serious, but a handful of good lines don’t really elevate the film enough to make it even into a cult classic.

The baddies themselves are equally forgettable.  I remember when Terminator 2 was released, they made sure that the evil T-1000 robot frequently morphed back into its initial character.  This was to give audiences a recognisable face of the villain.  Here the witch does a lot of morphing, but you don’t really see her much besides the beginning and the end.

I get the feeling the film-makers were hoping to make a franchise out of The Last Witch Hunter.  I could sort of see that happening, but, if by some miracle (or black magic?) it did, I think all sequels would be sent straight to DVD.  It’s not a bad film, just one that you’ve probably seen before – and better.  For Vin Diesel fans only.

5/10 a hard trek, a bit like unicycling to Mordor and back