Fear Island - Move along, folks - nothing to see here

I try to find something to say about most films, but with Fear Island, I have to warn you that this `review' will be pretty short.

It's hard to imagine a more `average' film than this. I do like a daft `slasher' flick as much as the next gore-hound, but this brought absolute zero to the genre.

I know all slasher movies have had the bar raised in 1997 by Scream, but at least some try to be original.

Fear Island is about a group of friends who go to stay on an island and mysteriously start getting picked off one by one. Hopefully, this won't spoil too much when I say that the film opens with one traumatised girl being found on said island by the authorities. The film then consists of her account of what happened to her friends to a police detective and criminal psychologist. I found that this kind of tells you most of what you need to know about the film. You never have to guess who will survive as you already know that from the start.

Normally, you may at least get a few amusing/interesting/disgusting kills. Not here. There's hardly any gore and what little there is comes few and far between. I know that no one expects an Oscar-worthy performance in a teen slasher film, but, seriously, the killer might as well be hunting trees since the actors are so wooden (even `Jinx' from Warehouse 13 can't elevate it at all). Then there's the most clichéd detective ever to be put on film who's in charge of the (meagre) investigation. He spends most of his time barking stilted dialogue at an unfeasibly attractive, intelligent and calm psychologist.

Some film you can watch if you're bored. However, this is not even one of them. If you like slasher films and are in the mood to sit through one. My advice would be to put one of your own DVDs on. This one isn't worth the time.

4/10 Dumb and Dumber would probably appreciate this film