Baywatch (2017) - 'The Rock' and Zac couldn't save it

I think I was the only teenager growing up in the early nineties who never watched a single episode of the TV show 'Baywatch.' Therefore, I'm not one of those people who is going to start moaning on about a 'big screen adaptation ruining my childhood memories' (I save that rant for Michael Bay's 'Transformers' franchise!).  Plus I'm a huge fan of cheesy movies and Dwayne Johnson - so odds were on that I'd enjoy this.  I didn't.  Pity.

First of all Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson - once again - proves why he's currently one of the highest paid actors in Hollywood.  He has a natural charm that shines through in whatever he does, 'Baywatch' is no exception.  He's definitely 'the star' of the show, but that's not to say that Zac Efron doesn't pull his weight.  The two of them do well in every scene they're in, however just because the actors are good, doesn't mean the film is any good.

Johnson and Efron's performances aren't enough to make up for the armies of dull and cliched characters they're forced to interact with.  I know one thing everyone expects to see in anything with the title 'Baywatch' is young, fit people in revealing swimsuits, but then women they've chosen (despite looking the part, obviously) just don't get the lines to make their characters anything more than cardboard cut-outs.  And this isn't just a fault aimed at the female cast-members.  There's the 'token' fat guy who is supposed the be the 'comic relief' (in a film where basically every character tells jokes anyway).  He's just awful.  Almost all of his jokes don't land and some just go on for so long that you actually will find his performance quite painful to watch.

The story revolves around the lifeguards trying to foil a drugs-ring plot.  Yes, this should be something the police take care of and, to give the film some credit, it is self-knowing enough to point plot-holes like this out for a quick laugh.  If ever you had to suspend your disbelief then it's with the plot of this film.  People do stuff that wouldn't seem out of place in a 'Scooby Doo' cartoon, i.e. constantly peeping over the edge of walls to 'spy' on the villain's operation and then 'disguising' themselves in order to infiltrate the operation.

I really wanted to enjoy this film.  Even with Johnson and Efron desperately trying to do their bit to save the movie, I doubt I'll ever watch it again.  I reckon some people will.  It truly is one of those 'guilty pleasure' films that might just sneak into a DVD collection here and there.

6/10 May just keep you awake if Freddy Krueger was haunting your nights