The Human Centipede 3 - It’s officially lost its mojo

Yeah, I admit it – I actually enjoyed ‘The Human Centipede’ – a film so depraved that many a Hollywood film critic actually claimed that its creation spelt the end of moral and intellectual cinema as we know it.  Okay, so it wasn’t Shakespeare, but then it wasn’t meant to be, was it?  It was meant to push the boundaries and generally gross us out.  And it did just that.  So I classed it as a success.  And so did the public in general, as it spawned a sequel.  Granted the next instalment took a very different path, but I enjoyed that one too (to my shame).

Therefore, I was always going to give the third one a crack.  And, from the start I was actually quite impressed… the film chose to reunite the (wonderfully creepy) stars of the previous two films and put them together on screen.  How could this film possibly fail?

It did. 

It was rubbish.  I’m sorry.  I know I should try to back my opinions up a little more eloquently than that, but I really can’t think of anything else to say.  I was so disappointed.  If you’ve seen the first film (and if you’re considering watching a story about human test subjects being sewn together in the most disgusting way imaginable I suggest you start there) then you’ll know the lead was the evil German doctor.  Like I said, he’s back here (only as a new character) and yet all he does is shout.  Loudly.  Rinse and repeat.  In fact, he shouts so damn loudly that I could barely hear what he’s shouting about due to his accent.  It seems that he’s been told to act like a lunatic and he does just that.  Unfortunately, it’s too over the top to be believable and it totally ruins the whole film.  Well, that’s the start of ‘Part III’s’ ruination.

Then there’s the gore.  Or should I say ‘lack of it?’ Seriously, these film’s selling points are that they gross you out.  Most of us who invest our time into them are happy that there won’t be a gripping and thought-provoking story with deep and emotional character development.  We just want sickness.  And we don’t get it from Part III.  It’s just more of the same, only less graphic.  We’ve seen it all before in the past two instalments and we’ve therefore seen it done better.

If you’re as weird as me in that you actually enjoy watching films like this, stick to the first two.  Ignore this one.  It really is pretty bad.  Or watch Kevin Smith’s ‘Tusk.’ Even that was better and at least had some snappy dialogue added to the mix.

Part III = avoid.

3/10 Jabba the Hutt wipes himself down with this film