Humanoids From the Deep (1980) - I tried to like this.  I really did.

Please, don’t get me wrong.  I knew when I watched a film made in 1980 called ‘Humanoids From the Deep’ that I wasn’t expecting a major work of art with dynamic character arcs, unique plot points or even reasonable special effects.  I was simply hoping for a ‘so-bad-it’s-good’ film.  I got half of what I was looking for.  It is bad.  It’s just not that good.

I know it’s a ‘cult classic’ therefore there are a lot of people out there who have found it both good and bad in equal doses, but I just wasn’t one of them.  When asked to sum up the plot, I simply say: refer to the title.  It basically tells you everything you need to know.  Monsters from underwater kill people.  Oh, maybe I should say that they mainly kill MEN.  Women, who seem to spend much of their time running around in bikinis, get other treatment – treatment that makes death look dignified in comparison.

I’ve seen many cheap horror films, all of which used their lack of budget as a bonus.  A horror film doesn’t have to be expensive to be scary/good.  This one didn’t have much money for the monsters.  And it showed.  They’re not really in it for much of the first half and, when they do turn up, they’re not really worth the wait.

The acting, despite having cult actor Doug McClure hamming it up, still isn’t memorable enough to be that interesting.  It was just all an exercise in tragic mediocrity.  There are a thousand better monster films out there – a thousand that have better special effects, a thousand that have better acting and a thousand that are scarier.  And, all of these are still cheesy so-bad-they’re-good B-movies.  It’s not even worth comparing the likes of Humanoids From the Deep to Hollywood’s ‘big budget’ horror films that are actually designed to be good, rather than bad-good.

If you really like cheesy eighties monster movies then you might like this.  I normally do, I just couldn’t get my mind to sink low enough on this occasion to appreciate it.  However, I am still tempted to watch the nineties remake!  I guess I get what I deserve!

4/10 You can watch this film while you're doing the ironing (you'll still get the general gist of it)