John Carter - Don't believe (all) the negativity 

John Carter bombed when it was in the cinema. It lay in production hell for decades (since the 1930s if you can actually believe that) then, when it was released, it suffered from weird rebranding based on the fact that the title should have been `John Carter of Mars' but studio executives don't think films with the word `Mars' in the title do well at the Box Office.

Anyway, I watched it with low expectations and was actually pleasantly surprised. It's about a soldier in 1800s America, being transported to Mars (you don't need to know how, he just does, okay?) and helping a Princess and her people fight an evil lot of assorted baddies.

And that's that. Granted the film doesn't require an awful lot of brainpower to understand, but then it is only rated 12, meaning it's mainly aimed at kids. Perhaps critics should remember that?

I actually find the 12 rating a little strange. It basically means children (or rather boys, as I'm sure they're the audience who would enjoy it most - oh, an me of course) under the age of twelve aren't supposed to watch the film. Yes, there's a certain amount of `fantasy violence,' but effectively only `Tom and Jerry-style' violence, only done with real people and computer generated characters. I'd have thought boys as young as about six could happily watch, understand and not get disturbed by this film.

For adults, you might not like this film. It's a bit silly, cliché and offers nothing much that you haven't seen before. However, if you watch it with a view to it being a useful tool to keep `Little Johnny' quiet for a couple of hours on a Saturday morning, you may find it's what he's been waiting for - cool action scenes, plenty of spaceships and monsters, plus a Princess who wears such little clothing that it makes Kate Middleton look quite covered up when she's on holiday in France on a private balcony.

6/10 May just keep you awake if Freddy Krueger was haunting your nights