Bait - Shopping with sharks

Going to a supermarket is never a particularly thrilling experience. There are the screaming kids begging their parents for sweets, the queues, the trolleys with the wonky wheels and of course those awful self-service checkouts that never really work. However, the one thing I've never experienced at Tesco's, is a shark swimming down the aisle, chomping at my heels.

In `Bait' we see just what happens if you let Great White sharks into your local hypermarket. It doesn't end well for anyone concerned. Great White sharks are less inclined to use clubcards and queue nicely at Customer Services departments while trying to exchange a faulty toaster; instead they tend to eat anyone who gets in their path.

‘Bait’ follows a long line of so-so B-movies, all with sharks as the main threat. However, whereas most of them are pretty forgettable, this one is actually pretty watchable. You'll notice I said `watchable' not good. Sadly, the special effects are pretty awful (CGI sharks just don't cut it) and even some of the acting is pretty wooden (although special mention to a man with possibly the darkest eyebrows I have ever seen – seriously, did he use the entire bottle of black hairdye on his eyebrows and then fuse them to a black hole?!).

I actually managed to get the hero confused with another cast member and it took me most of the movie to work out why he was having a relationship with TWO girls in different parts of the supermarket.  Although, I am getting on and my eyesight clearly isn’t what it once was!

However, that said, it's a fun - if incredibly silly - ride. If you think `sharks in a supermarket' sounds like a good film, then you're probably the sort of person who can appreciate a daft little B-movie like this. But if you think it sounds totally ludicrous, then you're probably best bending a selection of wire shopping baskets all around your body in an attempt to put as much distance between you and the film as possible (seriously, that's what someone tries in ‘Bait’ and I’ll leave you to figure out how it ends for that character!).

Personally, I loved ‘Bait.’ It was silly, cheesy, fun and totally stupid. A bit like me (I like to think, anyway). I can't wait for the sequel (yes, there's one on its way, if you believe the online rumour mill). I'm hoping this time we'll have either `sharks in school' or `sharks in an old people's home.' Classic. I should write those ideas down and copyright them before they're stolen!

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that