Cabin Fever 3: Patient Zero - Probably best to give this one a miss

Cabin Fever 3?  Where did it come from?  Why is it here?  Who made it?  All these questions you’ll probably never really figure out by watching the film.  The first in the series was released over a decade ago.  It was a nice (or rather horrible!) little film about a flesh-eating virus which didn’t need any more done on the subject matter.  However, they made a second instalment anyway.  This was met with pretty much universal hatred.  Therefore, the fact they went as far as to make number three remains a mystery.

Personally, I didn’t mind the second one.  Yes, it wasn’t as good as the first, but it was just about watchable.  Number three is about five times worse than number two.  It’s about four American youngsters (who’s good looks just about make up for any social niceties) who go to a remote island for some reason (are you bothered?  You’re only interested in the gore!) and end up falling foul to that good ol’ fashioned killer virus we all know so well.

Cabin Fever 3 is low budget.  I have nothing against low budget films.  However, if you can’t afford A-list actors or special effects, at least try to make up for it by entertaining characters we can root for and relate to.  No such luck here.  When it comes to the battle between flesh-eating virus verses man, you too will probably root for the virus.

The only famous face you might recognise is Sean Astin.  Mordor and fun with Frodo seems a long way off now and he’s reduced to some sort of extended sub-plot/cameo in this film.  At least he’s tried to disguise his appearance with a beard, but you can tell beneath the facial hair he’s ashamed to be here and would rather have flung himself into Mount Doom instead of the One Ring.  While the annoyingly good-looking teens are being eaten alive by the bug, Sean’s been captured by a scientist who is so evil he speaks with a kind of randomly-changing accent which can be anything from British, through Canadian to American.  Plus he seems to have employed two Victoria Secrets models for his lab assistants.

However, it’s not all bad (well, mostly it is).  There is some nice gore and make-up.  However, that makes up about ten of the ninety minutes.  For the rest you’ll probably be asking yourself why these infected people suddenly start behaving like zombies half way through the film (when you’re not dwelling on why this film was ever made in the first place).  If you like dark and gory horror (with a helping of tongue in cheek) then watch the first Cabin Fever – ignore anything that shares its name made after the original.

4/10 Dumb and Dumber would probably appreciate this film