Zombie Hunter - Calling it a `B-movie' would be generous

Okay, so we have a film called `Zombie Hunter' and it stars renown B-movie actor Danny Trejo. So... what are we expecting? I'm guessing that most of us know it won't be Shakespeare and would settle for some silly, over the top, zombie-bashing fun. Right?

I wish. Sadly, right from the start we're treated to possibly the most corny monologue from the film's leading man (who isn't Danny Trejo, incidentally). And, worst of all, this guy who seems to be doing his best impression of Christian Bale in the Dark Knight trilogy, keeps jabbering on all the way through the movie. Seriously, his monologues are so bad, you'd think they were funny - perhaps a way of making sure we didn't take this film seriously. However, they're just not amusing enough to be funny. There is no humour in this film.

If you have a B-movie with no stars and little budget, you don't expect it to try and compete with Hollywood's A-list efforts. You expect the film to play to its strength. However, this doesn't. It's not funny and, if it thinks it is then I simply missed every last `joke' in there.

You won't care about any of the characters. Every last one is a walking-talking cliché who you'll know whether they're destined to live or die from the first moment you see them.

Yes, the `zombie kills' are nice. They're filmed in slow motion and have a decent about of blood (albeit purple blood for some reason). However, zombies have been at the forefront of film-making since the first Resident Evil film. By now a film has to have more than just a bit of stylish direction when an undead creature is killed.

If you're looking for a cheesy zombie film to simply entertain you then look elsewhere. Or just stick to Shaun of the Dead. That's funny, gory and has characters you'll actually care about.

4/10 You can watch this film while you're doing the ironing (you'll still get the general gist of it)