The Rock - The greatest film ever made (sort of)

Okay, so it may not be the greatest film ever produced, but it sure is up there with the most fun.  Sometimes a film is just perfect.  Or, to be precise, it’s absolutely perfect for what it is.  No, ‘The Rock’ will never be hailed up there with such greats as Citizen Kane or The Godfather, but it is the perfect popcorn-munching action film.

Nicholas Cage (back when he still starred in decent films) plays a self-confessed FBI lab-geek who specialises in defusing explosive chemical weapons.  And, by one hell of a coincidence, an insane ex general (Ed Harris) only goes and steals a load of explosive chemical weapons and sets up his hollowed-out volcano lair (well, sort of) on the disused prison-site of Alcatraz.  Guess what poor ol’ Nic’s going to be getting up to today?  Unfortunately, he’s not much of a soldier and doesn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of defeating Ed’s band of hired marines.  However, that’s where the only man ever to have escaped Alcatraz comes in – retired (and imprisoned!) British Secret agent, Sean Connery (his character probably has a name, but – like every film he’s in – Sean Connery basically plays Sean Connery).  So, as the tag-line says... in a prison where no man has ever broken out, two men must break back in.

I hope whoever wrote that tagline got well paid.  It really does say it all.  You really don’t need to know much else about the film.  You only need to enjoy action films.  And, when I say ‘action films,’ I mean action films that are actually quite fun, rather than the dark and depressing style we’ve been treated to in recent times.  The Rock never tries to be ‘gritty’ and ‘realistic’ – it just has great action, numerous explosions and a plot so over-the-top it will envelop you completely and let it take you along for one hell of a ride.  If the sheer joy of the chemistry between Cage and Connery isn’t enough to entice you to watch this film, it’s actually worth noting that Ed Harris’ villain isn’t actually as villainous as you might expect, being one of the only evil bad guys with a conscious whose point of view you can also emphasise with.

Also, don’t let Michael Bay’s name put you off.  It was made ‘pre-Transformers’ where he actually made some decent films.

Don’t think about the plot.  Just love it for what it is – the perfect action film that really sums up the nineties (oh, that line could also be applied to ‘Speed’ – that’s pretty damn awesome, too).

10/10 The Monty Python Knights of Camelot are currently looking for this