Priest – (Very) dumb fun

Sometimes you can tell what studios were hoping for when you watch a film. ‘Priest’ may have been released over a decade later than the (highly-profitable) ‘Matrix’ franchise, but I’m sure the producers were kind of hoping this would be the ‘next Matrix.’ Plus, back in 2011, vampires were hot property.  Granted most of the – really – popular ones sparkled, but the more feared bloodthirsty ones could also hold their own on the big screen.

Therefore, when this post-apocalyptic action tale about a world, so ravaged by blood-suckers, that human kind had to retreat behind huge walled cities in wastelands, only safe due to the highly-trained ‘priests’ who were powerful enough to save them, it sounded good on paper.  And it is.  And it isn’t.  Whether you love or despise this film will depend on how forgiving you are.

Paul Bettany plays the titular clergyman, trained in hand-to-hand combat at dispatching hordes of vile vamps, without even breaking a sweat.  However, those undead aren’t going to take his antics lying down and kidnap a close family member, leaving him no option but to go against the church (who, for the sake of the story, now don’t seem to want to admit that vampires are a problem any more!) and save her.

Try as I might (and I probably should), I can’t really find that much wrong with the film.  However, likewise I can hardly list many major plus points.  You have action, you have vampire killing, a few chases across barren wastelands, the obligatory betrayal, love interest and twist you’ll probably see coming.  In short, it’s VERY generic.  But, like I say, if you’re prepared for nothing special (and while we’re on the subject of ‘special,’ I should point out that the computer special effects aren’t that special (think Playstation 3 cut-scene).

Vampire movies are ten a penny, so, if you come across this one and feel that you haven’t had enough of killing monsters that can’t go out in the daylight, give it a go.  Everyone is functional enough for what they do.  There are some good supporting actors involved, i.e. Karl Urban, Brad Dourif and Christopher Plummer, so they do raise it ever-so-slightly above average.  It depends on what you’re looking for when you sit down to watch this as to whether you’ll enjoy it.  One of those ‘rent not buy’ types of films (or, in these days, stream via online video service rather than buy).

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that