Xtro 3: Watch the Skies - Xtro goes from bad to worse
If you ever saw the classic eighties sci-fi/horror Xtro, you may be tempted to check out either of its sequels. Don't. Number two was a poor rip-off of Aliens and number three is more like a poor man's Predator. Neither have anything to do with the original.

After the - slightly out-of-character - borderline-comedy, black and white, fifties-style opening, we find that the American military sends the most useless troops it has to an island in order to destroy some allegedly old equipment. Unfortunately for them, they find there's actually a rather nasty abandoned alien there who wants to give them some serious (killer) tongue action.

The alien in question is possibly the most unrealistic alien ever created for a movie. It doesn't look too bad, it's just the way it moves that makes it appear totally unreal. They might as well have just used a toy Jabba the Hutt and chased the soldiers around with it. The only thing more unlikeable than the plastic alien that does its best to emulate the Predator with its (bad special effects) `cloaking device' are the soldiers themselves. They're not only incompetent (they take drugs, get into fights and fire their weapons into the air for fun), but they're also unlikeable - hardly the type you'll shed a tear for when they're wrapped up in cotton wool and licked to death (you'll probably have to actually watch the film to get that). They also can't act and run about screaming from model helicopters when they're not being tongued to death or hearing random cougar noises.

If you like classic horror, stick to the first Xtro. If you want proper action, watch Predator.
If it bleeds, you can kill it. If it looks like its operated by rods and a man with his hand up its rear, then its probably Xtro 3.

2/10 Scuzzier than the leftover goo from a Queen alien's egg sack