Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight - By the numbers slasher film (but in Poland!)

'Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight' was marketed at the first Polish slasher film ever made.  I don't know how true that is, but, let's assume that it is a fact, then it is about the only original thing going for this film.  I'll say now, I didn't hate it, but I was hoping for something a little more.

I know there are so many 'original' ways of having a killer stalk and murder a group of teenagers and still make it fresh and entertaining.  This one is about a group of pretty forgettable cliches who have gone to a Polish Summer camp in order to help cure their 'dependency' on mobile phones and the internet in general.  Naturally, they soon fall foul to a foreboding brute or two in the woods who delights in turning the youngsters into human skewers.  Now, if you're thinking that this is effectively the plot of almost every 'Friday 13th' film then you're probably right.

In fact, it's almost like the film-makers took the plot of 'Friday 13th' and followed it beat for beat, only changing the country it's set in.  Considering this film is made roughly forty years later, you'd think that they could have come up with something that, almost kept to the same 'slasher' template, was different enough to least a lasting mark on the audience.  For me at least, it didn't.

Again, I say that I didn't hate it, but it was so absolutely average that there's nothing to either like or hate about it.  There are kills, but they're nothing special, nor at they particularly gory or different to anything you've not seen before in every other slasher film.

Sometimes the film's script tries to be all 'self-referential' and 'meta.' It goes to great lengths to point out the cliches and tropes of horror films.  Then, for some reason, it adheres to every last one of them.

Overall, it's not bad, but it's nothing 90% of horror fans haven't seen before and seen it better.

6/10 Should probably keep you awake if Freddy Krueger was haunting your nights