Jingle All the Way – C’mon, there’s worse out there

Arnold Schwarzenegger made the comedy movie ‘Twins.’ Everybody loved it.  The he made ‘Kindergarten Cop.’ Everyone loved that, too.  Then he made the comedies ‘Junior’ and ‘Jingle All the Way.’ I guess the joke must have worn a bit thin as both were labelled as some of the worst films ever made.  Now, I watched ‘Junior’ when it was released and admittedly the reviews were correct when they said it was a ‘one-joke’ movie.  And, possibly because of this, I never got round to watching ‘Jingle All the Way’ until I found it on an online streaming service nearly twenty years after it had been released.  And, as it was Christmas and I’d already watched ‘National Lampoon’s Xmas Vacation’ I thought I’d give it a go.  I guess because I’d heard so much negativity surrounding it I feared the worst, therefore I was actually pleasantly surprised.

Now, don’t get me wrong, ‘Jingle All the Way’ is no classic.  If you’re a fan of ‘Predator’ and ‘Terminator’ then you need to know that this isn’t the ‘action’ Arnie on display here.  This is definitely the ‘comedy Arnie’ who is doing his best to make fun of himself and the various clichés that have sprung up around his batch of movies and action films in general.  He plays a harassed father of Darth Vader (well, that kid who played Anakin in the Star Wars prequels) who’s always putting work over family.  However, on Christmas Eve, he vows to get his son the one ‘hot toy’ of the year – a ‘Turbo Man’ action figure.  And, as we parents who are annually forced to purchase that one mythical item for our children, we know you should never leave it till only a few hours before the big day to buy one.

What follows is possibly every parent’s (Christmas-related) nightmare where Arnie is driving round New York, visiting one toy shop after the next, desperate not to be shown up in his son’s eyes by coming back empty-handed.  I’d love to say that it’s as funny as ‘Twins’ or ‘Kindergarten Cop,’ but it’s not.  However, that doesn’t make it the worst film ever.  The humour is pretty low brow and slapstick, but, if you’re in the mood for something very silly (and it probably helps that you’re a fan of Arnie) then this should keep you entertained over the festive period.  Not all the jokes land and it’s a bit corny in places and there are some gags that definitely feel dated, however that’s due to bombs in New York not being a particularly funny subject of comedy in this ‘Post 9/11 era,’ but it does take a satirical swipe on consumerism and the shameless ‘supply and demand’ toy manufacturers employ when it comes to mass merchandising their products.

It's also great to see James Bellushi reuniting with Schwarzenegger for an appearance as a ‘bad’ Santa.  Ultimately, ‘Jingle All the Way’ was probably never worth paying full price for in the cinemas, so I can imagine audiences feeling short-changed with what they got.  However, it’s much more at home as being a film that’s included in an online streaming service that you can put on in the background/  It’s probably a film that children would enjoy more, due to the ‘obvious’ slapstick humour.  Kids probably won’t get the consumerism references, but at least adult will be able to get something out of it, too.  It’s probably worth saying that – as a fan of Arnie – the best I can say about this is that it’s ‘okay if you’re in the mood.

6/10 Should probably keep you awake if Freddy Krueger was haunting your nights