Knock at the Cabin (2023) - Good.  Mostly

I read somewhere that the definition of a 'slow burn' is a film which isn't faced paced (for the most part), but has a pay-off which makes the lack of speed worthwhile.  The opposite is a film that is just slow and ends up being a complete waste of time.  I guess 'Knock at the Cabin' falls into the former, as - for whatever reason - I stuck with it until the end just to see how it all turned out.

It's about a couple who take their adopted daughter to a remote cabin for a break, only for four strangers (led by Dave Bautisda - who's actually becoming a better actor than most people ever thought he could be!) to break in and hold them hostage.  The catch being that these 'home invaders' don't want to hurt or steal from them.  They just want one of them to kill themselves in order to prevent the apocalypse (which is taking place within an hour or so).

So what follows is a kind of cat and mouse game where the captives try to deal with whether they should simply escape, fight back, or believe their captors and do the unthinkable.

Like I say, I stuck with it.  Once it finished I realised it was an M Night Shyamalan film and it kind of made sense.  That kind of explained the slightly stilted dialogue and I just kept thinking back to a YouTube reviewer who said of Shyamalan's dialogue 'That almost sounds like how a real person would talk!' and I can't help but agree.

Now, if you know anything about Shyamalan's (mainly early) work, you'll know he's well known for his plot twists.  So, if you're expecting something out of 'left field' to blow your mind at the end, you won't find it here.  Everything is - uncharacteristically - well wrapped up here, so there won't be much left to debate once the credits roll.

Overall, this is a decent enough film which should keep most people entertained, but I'm not sure it'll be remembered along with his classics like 'Sixth Sense' and 'Unbreakable.'

6/10

A Working Man (2025) - Okay, but not 'vintage' Stath

I confess - I didn't get round to watching this in the cinema.  I'm a pretty big fan of Jason Statham's output - yes, I know it's hardly Shakespeare, but if I'm in the mood for some good ol' fashioned action silliness, 'The Stath' normally provides.  However, in between the theatrical release and me finding it on streaming, I did see a fair few YouTube reviews of it.  Most said that it was 'Okay, but with flaws.' Then they went on to list what was wrong with it, so perhaps by the time I got round to viewing it myself, I was kind of on the look out for what was mentioned.

The plot revolves around Statham as the titular 'working man' who has traded in his special forces military background for a life on a construction site.  That's until his employers' daughter gets kidnapped and it turns into a kind of 'Taken' affair with him using his 'skill-set' to get her back.

Now I find myself listing the problems I heard about on YouTube regarding the film.  Yes, it's a bit too long.  Yes, it feels a bit unfocused with the fact that there really doesn't seem to be a 'real antagonist' for Jason Statham to fight.  He just goes from place to place, beating up henchmen until he gets to the 'lead gangster' of that area, deals with him and then moves on to the next setting (yes, a bit like a videogame beat 'em up!).  Then there are the secondary characters.  Each is brought on like they're going to have a major impact in the story, only for them to either be killed or simply abandoned as the story progresses.

Overall, I got my action.  I got my silliness and so I got my money's worth out of 'A Working Man' so I can't really complain too much.  But, seeing as I have the 'Transporter' trilogy and 'Crank' films on DVD, I'd rather watch any of them instead of this one again.  I wonder if the 'sequel bait' at the end will pay off?

6/10

She (1984) - Cheap and full of cheese

'She' is one of those eighties 'sword and sorcery' films that tried to ride the success of the 'Conan' films.  There were quite a lot of 'Conan imitations' around that time - some played it straight while others embraced the silliness of it all. 'She' definitely falls into the latter.  Although there aren't too many 'jokes' it seems to be self-aware of how daft it really is.

It's set in your typical 'post apocalyptic' world where what little there is left of humanity seem to live in various tribes.  One tribe (the bad ones!) raid a community and kidnap a woman.  Her brother and his friend set out to get her back and, in doing so, come into contact with the leader/Goddess of another faction, known as 'She.' Together they all team up and... well, much of the film consists of them getting captured by one crazy gaggle of weirdos after another - each lot having more bizarre costumes which seems to come right out of a charity shop or thrift store.  My favourite lot were the ones who looked like a team of 'Dengars' (if you know your random 'Empire Strikes Back' trivia).

To pad out the runtime there's plenty of - seemingly random - rock music to crank up the tension, even when it's not really applicable.  Perhaps the weirdest scene was the 'bridge crossing' which arrives about three quarters of the way through.  Here we stray off into something akin to 'Monty Python,' only with possibly the most annoying character I've ever seen (think worse than Jar Jar Binks and that bloke out of 'The Fifth Element' who's name currently escapes me, but he was a space DJ or something).

It's a little on the long side, but it's silly enough to make it entertaining, even if it's only from the sheer randomness of the ride.  One you can have on in the background and still not really miss anything.

5/10

Rebel Moon (2023) - Why isn't this better?

Damn-it Zack Snyder, why do you keep doing this to me?  For anyone who doesn't know, Snyder is (or should I say 'was?') a great director with a real flare for stylish film-making and some of my modern day favourite films have his name on them (300, Dawn of the Dead remake and Watchman - and, for the record, I actually liked Man of Steel).  And yet, in recent years, he seems to have been given more and more control over his output and with it, the quality has dipped.

If you believe the internet rumours, 'Rebel Moon' was pitched to Disney as a potential 'Star Wars' project and they turned it down, so Snyder turned it into an original science fiction/action project due for Netflix.  At first it was two hours long, before an 'extended cut' was released which is roughly three and a half hours long.  I decided to watch this.

It's hard not to compare it to 'Star Wars' as a protagonist on a farming planet has to step up and confront an evil empire who is threatening their world and the universe in general.  This time we have a female lead who has to go on a 'Magnificent Seven' style quest to find a band of powerful warriors capable of saving the planet.

Now, if you overlook how a handful of good fighters can defeat an entire empire of enemy ships, there's simply not much here.  Yes, some of it looks good and the fight scenes are pretty cool and well shot, but, all this film involves is the central character recruiting one helper after the next.  We never get to really know anyone (if you don't include the massive long exposition dumps/flashbacks) and, before we know it, the film is at its 'climactic' end battle and the credits are - finally - rolling.

And you've just invested over three hours of your life in a film where the only real stand-out is Anthony Hopkins' interesting droid character (who's hardly in it!).  Practically the whole of this story could be told in a flashback or prologue to whatever comes next.  I'm still interested in Snyder's work as I do feel he's got more to offer than his recent output, but this one is just too long and rambling and takes itself way too seriously to be classed as 'enjoyable.' Sorry, Zack.

5/10

Terror at London Bridge (1985) - Soooo much cheese

Oh, dear, this one is - kind of - painful.  No, it's not so bad that I turned it off, but it sure as hell doesn't match up with anything in the genre that it's trying for.  If you think of the - classic - 'slasher' films then you'll probably at least hope they'll creep you out a bit (or just indulge in some over the top gory fun). 'Terror at London Bridge' is - technically - a 'slasher' movie, only it just isn't really anything to write home about.

We begin in London a hundred years ago when none other than Jack the Ripper is shot and 'killed' over London Bridge.  Fast Forward a hundred years later and the bridge has been moved, brick by brick, to America (yeah, don't ask too many questions - just go with it!).  And, guess what, Jack's come along for the ride and is back to his old tricks with the local women.  Only one man stands in his way - and he's going to do it without his talking car, none other than David Hasselhoff.

It's a kind of 'Jaws-esque' affair from then on, with 'the Hoff' guessing that the real Jack the Ripper is behind the killings and wanting to close public events, while the profit-hungry council bosses not wanting to admit there's a problem due to the financial tourism cost such an admission would cause.

There's nothing offensively bad about this film.  I almost like the premise, but there's just not that much that's good either.  It's not funny, i.e. it plays it straight and it's not gory with inventive kills either.  The British characters are almost cliches of what English people are like and are laughably funny, but for all the wrong reasons.

If you're a fan of 'the Hoff' you'll probably enjoy this, although, despite being the only real name on the cast list you'll recognise, he's not in it as much as you'd think he would be.  Otherwise, it's just a basic 'made-for-TV' affair that's pretty forgettable, as it doesn't offer anything new to the genre.

4/10

The Exterminator (1980) - Not much to see here

I don't know why, but watching 'The Exterminator' made me think that someone in the production team must have watched one or two of the seventies' 'Death Wish' films and tried their best to copy that.  It has the same gritty seventies vibe (despite being made in 1980), but just doesn't really seem to go anywhere.

It's about an American ex army veteran whose best friend is murdered by a street gang once they have returned to civilian life now back in New York.  And he goes out for revenge.  Nothing particularly new in terms of plot, but there have been plenty of 'revenge' films which have worked, despite a lack of originality.  There's a cop who suspects who's the killer and is on his trail, plus the Government are sniffing around, but neither plot element really adds that much to the proceeding.

There are no major actors involved here, the script is just so-so and there's no real 'action' besides the odd killing here and there.  If you're looking for any 'interesting' kills or gore - again, none here.  Everything's as vanilla as it comes.  As I say, there are plenty of 'revenge' films - made around the time like 'Death Wish' and right up until today - which are better than this.  It's not terrible, but there's just nothing here that's original enough to make it stand out.

4/10

Infinity Pool (2023) - What was that all about?

I was always a big fan of David Cronenberg's films.  I don't always claim to know what the hell they were all about, but - being the horror fan I am - I seemed to find something enjoyable about them. 'Infinity Pool' is directed by David's son, Brandon, so I figured the apple wouldn't fall too far from the tree.  And I was right.

In a fictional country - let's pretend it's some sort of offbeat island around the equator - rich Western holidaymakers lie around by the pool in luxury while the general population tend to be living in relative poverty.  Nothing particularly out of the ordinary there!  But the island - or rather those who pull the strings behind it - hold a dark secret that our rich protagonists are about to find out - to their peril.

I'm not sure how much about 'the secret' has been made clear through the film's marketing, so I'm going to remain vague about what it is for fear of spoilers.  On the surface, it's a neat idea - and even one I can understand from the islanders' point of view.  So that's good - as is the acting (even if some of the main characters are particularly annoying/unlikable).  Plus there's the inevitable 'gross-out' body horror that seems to go hand in hand with the name 'Cronenberg.' 

And yet there was something missing.  I did stick with the film all the way to the end.  And I'm glad I did.  It was certainly unique, even just for the premise, but perhaps the premise was also the problem.  Although I'm willing to believe in a 'supernatural' element in a story to further my enjoyment of the fictional genre, it just didn't really hold up in terms of logic once you thought about it.  Or rather, this supernatural element could work once in terms of the characters, but once it happens again and again, you wonder why the people behind it are so bothered by this seemingly repeated annoyance (or rather annoying tourists!) and there must be a better way to deal with rich idiots, rather than expose them to something that they could go home and tell the world about.

Again, sorry if all that sounds a bit cryptic.  Like I say, nice idea and definitely a dark horror if you're into that, but if you can explain all the implications and unanswered questions the premise brings up then you must have been watching it more closely than me!

6/10