Total Recall (1990) – Premium Arnie

Ignore ‘Terminator: Genysis’ and those recent ‘straight-to-DVD’ films that Arnold Schwarzenegger is – sadly – repeatedly churning out.  Once upon a time (or at least in 1990, anyway), he ruled the Box Office with impunity.  His ‘highpoint’ probably came a year later with ‘Terminator 2: Judgement Day,’ but – in my opinion – ‘Total Recall’ comes a close second.

Of course, if you’re not a fan of the big man himself, there’s probably not much here that would change your mind.  However, if you’re into either action or sci-fi films, practical effects over the computer-generated variety, of – of course – Arnie himself, then you’re in for a real treat here.

In ‘Total Recall’ he plays an ‘everyman’ in the near future (assuming the average guy comes from Austria and is built like Mr Universe!) ‘Doug Quaid’ – a lowly construction worker on Earth who dreams of going to Mars (did I mention a reasonable proportion of the human race lives on the red planet?).  However, seeing as our ‘simple guy’ earns a lot less than the actor who plays him, he’s not going to ever be able to afford such a trip.  That’s why he gets a ‘memory implant’ of a vacation into outer space (I don’t think I mentioned that was an option either, did I?).  Unfortunately, that – supposedly – ‘simple’ procedure goes wrong and exposes the fact that he’s already been there and is even caught up in an interplanetary conspiracy involving everyone from the Mars government to space spies and aliens.  Now, everyone’s trying to kill him and he’s on the run.

I guess that since 1990, plenty of films have been made where our hero is on the run from ‘Agency X’ or whatever (the ‘Bourne’ films spring to mind).  However, back then there weren’t that many.  And even less that span two worlds and star the biggest actor of the time.  And… it works.  Perfectly.
There’s not an awful lot I can think of that’s wrong with this film.  Arnie carries it – as he did at the time.  Despite the fact that (mainly towards the beginning of the film), he seems to struggle with putting much emotion into his lines, but then that could also be something to do with the script and/or director.  However, he soon settles into the role – roughly at the same time the story requires him to start busting bad-guy heads (coincidence?).

He’s helped and hindered by a decent cast – most you will ‘sort of’ recognise, such as Ronny Cox as the chief baddie ‘Cohaagen’ and Michael Ironside as his henchman ‘Richter.’ However, the other main name on the cast is Sharon Stone, only before she really hit the big time by doing that thing with her legs.  Plus, keep an eye out for Dean ‘Hank from Breaking Bad’ Norris as a mutant with an odd face.  And, while we’re on the subject of keeping an eye on mutants, get ready for a chuckle when it comes to an alien prostitute with, er, ‘extra assets.’

‘Total Recall’s’ strength is its blend of – obviously – Arnie and the cast, but also the fact that the action is top notch (all delivered with that trademark ‘tongue in cheek’ method Arnie and many others like him delivered in the eighties/nineties, yet is – sadly – missing from much of today’s action movies).  It’s a joy to see the practical special effects instead of blurred CGI (even if a couple of them do look a little dated by today’s standards).  However, it’s the film’s soundtrack that really gets the blood pumping and is up there with the best of them.

Ignore the completely unnecessary remake (even though it – technically – wasn’t that bad and had Bryan ‘Walter White’ Cranston in it!) and settle down for some old school sci-fi action that only those with a real aversion to cracking popcorn-munching romps could possibly not get some fun out of.  They really don’t make them like they used to.

10/10 The Monty Python Knights of Camelot are currently looking for this