Red Tide Massacre (2022) - Why so serious?

I've always been a fan of horror as a genre.  So, now we have streaming services I will happily give pretty much anything in the genre a go.  However, there's so much utter dross on there that it seems nowadays the mark of whether a film is 'good' or not is whether I can actually sit through it.  I managed to last the entire of 'Red Tide Massacre,' not that it's exactly a 'great' film - merely watchable for ninety minutes.

There's a monster on the loose by the beach in Florida and a young deputy must team up with a reporter and a scientist to stop the 'massacre.' Oh, and I should probably say that 'massacre' is not the term I'd use for the amount of killing on display here.  Mild deadly rampage would suit it better.

Despite not outright hating this movie, there isn't much to recommend.  Although the acting is competent, the leading man comes across as miserable and surly (despite the amount of female attention he receives!).  If you're hoping for scares, there isn't any.  It utilised many a 'horror cliche' including the one about when a character says 'I'll be right back' they're about to be murdered brutally (didn't 'Scream' point this out back in 1997?) and the 'gore effects' are possibly some of the most laughable I've ever seen.  If blood is required it's - presumably - computer-added in post production and it looks like someone has drawn the red liquid on afterwards like an animated cartoon!

The creature itself is hardly groundbreaking.  It's a guy in a mask.  End of.  Okay, it's actually quite a good mask, but it's a 'good mask' if you saw it on someone trick or treating on Halloween, not in a theatrical film.

Most of the victims you won't really care about because they're only introduced into the very scene where they're due to die in.  And if any water is required to be red, the film-makers just slap a red filter over half the lens!  Maybe it would have worked better if it was a bit more 'self-knowing.' Perhaps they could have played into the overall 'cheap' feel.  Sadly, every scene is played straight - sometimes TOO straight and the dramatic music can even drown out the (supposedly!) deep and meaningful dialogue.

So, it has a lot of cons and not many pros.  It's probably not that good if looked at objectively, however, if you compare it to 90% of the horror films that seem to be made deliberately for streaming sites, then it's actually a bit better, or at least watchable, as I proved by getting to the credits only checking my Instagram on my phone a few times during the runtime.

5/10 You can watch this film while you're doing the ironing (you'll still get the general gist of it)