Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988) - Nice idea, poorly executed

Ah, I do love a cheesy 80s horror B-movie.  And this one has everything I'm looking for... on paper.  A trio of naughty high school boys try and sneak a peek into a girls' sorority house, only to be caught and forced to steal a bowling trophy on display at a local shopping mall (no, really) where everyone falls foul of an imp-like genie inside.

I don't know what the film-makers were on when they came up with that, but that's the plot.  Yes, it's totally ridiculous, but, if handled correctly, it could have been a lot of fun.

Sadly, there isn't much here to recommend.  I guess there's nudity - of which there is some briefly at the beginning, but we have Google these days, so I doubt that will be much of a selling point.  There's virtually no gore and the special effects are definitely not special.  In fact, this could have the worst animated creature I've ever seen committed to film.  The acting is terrible.  Linnea Quigley is about the only name you may know (probably because you've seen 'Return of the Living Dead') and she actually handles herself during the fight scenes, but her dialogue is awful.  I know she can do better, but the script she's been given could have been so much better.

I found this on a streaming service and so I guess it was entertaining enough 'for free,' but I definitely don't think it would have been worth actually paying to watch for a group of individuals.  

5/10

The Lift (1983) - How is this not a parody?

Since 'Jaws' there's been a type of film (mainly horror, I guess) where the protagonist knows some sort of 'deeper information' regarding a potential threat and nobody - especially the person in charge of public safety - believes him.  In 'Jaws' Chief Brody couldn't convince the local town leader to close the beach... and the shark made the most of it.

I only bring this up is because 'The Lift' kind of takes that template... and applies it to a lift.  Yes, there's a 'killer lift.' Now, in 'Jaws' you may be safe on land, but if you went pretty much anywhere in the water you were risking your life.  However, with the lift, the 'threat' is kind of confined to - um - a lift shaft in - um - a building.  If you don't use the lift, you're pretty much safe.

Therefore, the film makes as many characters go near the lift and literally stick their heads through the doors in order for the deadly piece of - barely moving - machinery to do away with them.

So, at the end of the day, I really found it hard to really take this film seriously if all you need to do to survive is use the stairs.  I did once watch a horror film about a lift.  I actually quite enjoyed it, but I'll be damned if I can remember what it was - it was about a group of people who were trapped in the lift and I think one of them turned out to be the devil.  I should have watched that.

5/10

Murderfest (2024) - Actually quite good fun - weirdly

In the crowded world of low-budget horror, 'Murderfest' stands out not for its surprising watchability. While the production's financial constraints are often sadly apparent, with some awkward acting and flimsy cheap-looking gore, there's still enough horror to be run. If you're in the mood for a film that leans more into silly social commentary than outright horror, it's actually worth a look—mainly if you can find it on streaming (I probably wouldn't pay full price to watch it on the big screen!).  

It's about a website that broadcasts 'murder games' where serial killers compete to hunt unsuspecting victims.  It's over-the-top concept does manage to land some jabs at our obsession with shocking internet content, showing how far society is willing to go for entertainment.  

The lack of a tight script does reveal a few gaps in logic where characters make baffling choices and certain plot developments require a significant suspension of disbelief.  But if you’re willing to go along for the ride, the ridiculousness can actually add to the fun.  What the movie lacks in gore—a notable absence given its premise—it makes up for with tongue-in-cheek humor.  Instead of trying to be outright scary or gory, it opts for a more silly tone. If you're looking for scares and gore you probably won't find it here.  

The - pretty much unknown - cast are okay in their roles and the direction is competent, but the pacing can be a bit uneven at times.  Ultimately, 'Murderfest' isn’t a masterpiece, but it’s far from a disaster. Its low budget may show, but for those in a forgiving mood, it's a fun enough little waste of time.

6/10

You Can't Run Forever (2024) - JK sells it

Maybe I should have read more about this film before I watched it.  And maybe if I say what I'm about to say now I'll end up 'spoiling' it for people.  But I'm a general fan of JK Simmons as, no matter how bad a film is, he always seems to turn in a solid performance and is great on screen.  I'm not claiming to have watched every film he's been in, but I've never considered him as a 'bad guy' (on screen).  I didn't know much about 2024's 'You Can't Run Forever' and simply watched it when I found it on a streaming service and saw he was in it.  Naturally, I figured he was going to be some sort of gruff, but ultimately kind, character.  How wrong I was.

A teenage girl finds herself lost in dense woods and at the mercy of an unrelenting serial killer - none other than JK Simmons.

Naturally, he gives a pretty excellent performance and turns what could have just been your basic slasher film into something a little better.  In terms of actors, it's perfectly acceptable all round.

I didn't think I wasted my time watching it and anyone who likes JK Simmons' performance should find something to enjoy here.  However, if I had to point out something negative, I'd say that the story is based on extreme convenience to move it along.  There are numerous times where Simmons catches up with his victim and has plenty of time to kill her, only to let her go.  I get that this could be because he's 'toying' with her and it's a plot device to add tension, but is a brutal serial killer keeps letting his victim go just to prolong the movie, it does tend to stretch how long you can suspend your disbelief for.

6/10

Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993) - If I was younger...

I never watched this back in the nineties, but I was aware of it.  I had, however, seen similar films which were basically parodies of popular movies or genres of the time, such as 'Hotshots, The Naked Gun' and 'Loaded Weapon.' I enjoyed them all back in the day, but it's taken me until 2024 to get round to this one.

Weirdly, I may have been the only fourteen year old to not really be that into 1991's 'Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves,' but I remember how popular it was at the time and it's still regarded as a classic to this day.  Therefore, film-maker Mel Brooks decides to make a parody of it with his 'Men in Tights' offering.  The story basically follows the classic version of the tale of Robin Hood that we all know.

Brooks also made 'Spaceballs' which is effectively poking fun at 'Star Wars' and I recall I enjoyed that, so I do like his humour.  But my 2024 brain just didn't find many laughs in 'Men in Tights.' It's odd, as I reckon that if I was still in my mid teens I probably would have liked this much more and, if I watched it today, it would no doubt bring back nostalgic memories which would make me rate it higher.

Sadly, I just didn't find it that funny.  Yes, I chuckled a few times, but many of the jokes got samey quite quickly and others were actually the same ones used in 'Spaceballs,' only repurposed for a medieval setting instead of sci-fi.  Overall, it's okay.  I found it the kind of film you'd have on in the background and dip in and out of.

5/10

The Devil's Triangle (2021) - Made for TV at best

Hmm, where to begin... 'The Devil's Triangle' is about a passenger plane that gets shot down over the Bermuda Triangle and ends up in Atlantis, only to find that those who dwell below sea levels have sinister plans for us 'land dwellers.'

Not an awful plot for a run-of-the-mill sci-fi TV show, but it's a - relatively - short film which never really lives up to its lofty ideals.  For a start, you have the cast.  There are no big name actors and, although some are okay (at best!), it seems that most of the Atlantis residents are some of the worst actors available.  I feel bad for saying that, as, given a better script, they may be okay on screen.  However, the script - especially for the bad guys - is just terrible and full of cliches - so much so it's like they actually speak fluent 'bad guy.'

The special effects are random action scenes which look quite good - for a Playstation 4 cut-scene.  But they never really have any effect on the story, as they're mainly flashbacks.  Put simply, there are no real special effects involving the characters and the sets look like they're from a daytime soap with blue lighting.

I could have put up all that, but the bad guys are just too dumb to be taken seriously.  They show potential enemies round their facility and teach them how two effectively destroy their empire at the touch of a button (and then leave all major control panels completely unguarded for the humans to do just that!).

Overall, it hasn't really got that much going for it.  It tries, but it doesn't have the budget or script to make it worth your time.

4/10

The Rift (1990) - 'Aliens' it is not

'The Rift' could have been a solid 'creature feature,' but it struggles to make good on its premise.   It follows a submarine crew sent on a rescue mission into uncharted depths, only to discover horrors lurking beneath the surface.  There’s enough here to keep fans of cheesy 80s/90s horror mildly entertained, the movie takes was long for anything to actually happen.  

For nearly the first hour, very little happens.  The early scenes are mainly all exposition and repetitive submarine antics that don’t do much to build up to anything.  By the time the action finally picks up, it’s hard not to feel like you’ve already been treading water (boom boom!) for far too long. When the  monster finally makes an appearance towards the end, it’s actually not too bad, but it's too little too late.

The cast is best served by R. Lee Ermey and Ray Wise as they're the two most recognizable names in the lineup - and they unsurprisingly steal the show.  Ermey delivers his trademark gruff authority as the submarine commander, bringing some much-needed energy to the otherwise shallow proceedings. Ray Wise, always a joy to watch, is unfortunately underused, leaving viewers wishing his screen time had been expanded.  The rest of the cast does a passable job but lacks the charisma to make their characters memorable.  

Perhaps 'The Rift’s' biggest flaw is its blatant attempt to borrow the action/tension scenes from far superior films - mainly 'Aliens.' These moments come across as pale imitations that only show what 'The Rift' is missing.  In the end, 'The Rift' is an okay-ish attempt at a monster movie that may satisfy B-movie fans of underwater horror, it’s far from essential viewing.  It’s worth a watch for die-hard fans of R. Lee Ermey or Ray Wise, but for most viewers, it’ll likely sink into obscurity. 

5/10

Deep Space (1988) - Oh dear

Okay, let's talk about 1979's 'Alien.' On the surface, it's a pretty simple film: big monster stalks humans.  If you don't like that sort of movie, you could say that premise is dumb, but, if handled right, then the audience who are into that genre will love it - like with 'Alien.' It's crazy that 'Deep Space' was released nearly ten years after 'Alien' and two years after it's excellent sequel and yet it looks so much worse on all counts.

It too has a simple premise - in fact, the SAME premise - big monster hunting humans.  There's nothing wrong with that in a B-movie, but, this time, there's just nothing that makes it stand out. 'Alien' was set on a space ship, so the film-makers must have had to use a proportion of their budget on sets. 'Deep Space' is in a normal American city, so no extra costs for building sets required - yet still everything looks so cheap.

Here, a secret US probe crashes back down to Earth and its contents begin to run amok among the population.  Police are investigating, but finding themselves thwarted by shady Government agents.  Then you have a totally unnecessary psychic who phones up the leading man every now and again when the plot needs moving forward.

Again, 'Alien' had the bonus of an excellent cast who could elevate the script to levels higher than it probably ever should be. 'Deep Space' doesn't have the script, nor the quality of actors to support it.  The monster itself is a blatant rip off of the xenomorph from the 'Alien' franchise, only it's just a man in a rubber suit, waddling around and looking so uncomfortable that I almost felt sorry for it in the end as it came across as just so damn pathetic.

Weirdly, as much as I'm slating the film on every level, it's not totally unwatchable.  I didn't hate it as much as it may sound, but there's just so many better monster B-movies out there that there's simply no point in investing your time into this one.  Or just watch one of the 'Alien' movies.

4/10

The Bad Shepherd (2024) - Decent little thriller

'The Bad Shepherd' takes a well-trodden path in the thriller genre, presenting a premise most of us have seen before, i.e. a group of friends are thrust into a moral dilemma and their unity crumbles as tensions rise, before deadly results ensue. While this setup doesn’t break new ground, the film delivers a decent enough experience for fans of the genre.  

It's a simple tale - a group of mates think they've accidentally run over a woman, but, before they can phone an ambulance, they discover she has a bag full of money on her - guess what... they think better of calling 911 straight away!  

What sets 'The Bad Shepherd' apart is that it at least makes viewers question their own moral compass. Each dilemma the characters face feels grounded in reality, forcing us to ponder what we'd do in that situation?  Even if the cast lacks any big names, the performances are perfect for what they need to be and the actors bring a sense of authenticity to their roles, which helps elevate the average script. 

However, the ending may leave some viewers thinking that it belongs to a different movie, deviating from the grounded tone established earlier.  I didn't mind it spinning to something - in my opinion - completely different, some may feel a little cheated by the 'reveal.'

In the end, 'The Bad Shepherd' is a solid enough thriller that doesn't reinvent the wheel, but it doesn’t need to - it's a worthwhile watch. 

7/10

The Midnight Meat Train (2008) - Vinnie Jones shines

'The Midnight Meat Train' is possibly the definition of a competent and gruesome horror experience that leans more heavily on blood and guts than cerebral chills.  Bradley Cooper stars as a photographer who is desperate to capture the gritty essence of the New York.  His performance is solid, bringing his usual charm and likability to the role.  However, the true standout is Vinnie Jones as the menacing and near-silent antagonist, Mahogany, who ends up stealing every scene he’s in.  

The film’s style of leaning on gruesome, over-the-top violence is both its strength and potential turnoff as there are plenty of scenes where the red stuff tends to fly further than reality may suggest.  It's all good fun if you're looking for over the top gore, but the plot often relies on improbable coincidences and sheer luck to move forward. 

This lack of realism might frustrate viewers seeking a more grounded thriller.  The ending is another polarizing element. Without giving too much away, it ventures into unexpected territory, which might not align with what had been building up previously.  

It’s a bold conclusion that ensures 'The Midnight Meat Train' lingers in the mind after the credits roll.  But at the end of the day it's all great fun for horror fans who enjoy their scares served with a side of carnage.  It’s not perfect, but as a fan of Vinnie Jones (and someone who had to 'fine' him when he came into the video rental store I worked in!) I can say he makes it worth a watch.

7/10

Lucky Bastard (2014) - Sometime it's good to finish early

'Lucky B@stard' is a decent enough concept for a 'slasher' film: a found-footage thriller set in the adult film industry.  It could have at least been watchable, but it just doesn't have the script or execution to live up to the promise.  The story revolves around a p0rn website’s gimmick of allowing one "lucky" fan to perform on-camera with an adult star.  Things naturally take a turn for the worse when their chosen participant reveals a disturbing side of his personality. 

Sadly, the audience will probably see every plot beat coming a mile off and - worse still - it has a majorly slow build-up.  Despite the 94-minute runtime, it takes over an hour for the narrative to truly get going and anything vaguely exciting to happen.  By then, it’s likely many viewers will have lost patience.  Part of the problem is the pacing. Much of the first act is spent on mundane set-up, introducing the characters and the mechanics of the titular website. 

When the thriller elements finally kick in, they feel rushed and lack either the impact or gore that they might have had with better development.  From early on, it’s easy to guess where the story is headed. This might not have been so bad if the characters were more entertaining, but most of the cast are reduced to stereotypes and the script doesn’t provide much depth to elevate them beyond their roles as victims or the killer.  

Ultimately, 'Lucky Bastard' is a decent enough idea that doesn’t quite work, due to its length (maybe it should have been some sort of half hour short?).  While the premise might draw you in, the sluggish first hour and predictable plot twists make it a tough sell. If you’re a fan of the found-footage genre or curious about its unique setting, it might be worth a look. Just don’t expect to be blown away and, for a film set in this industry, you won't be getting too much in the way of what the p0rn genre is most famous for - if that's what you're looking at, you can probably find more on an average internet search.

5/10

Axcellerator (2020) - Was this 2020 film actually made in the 80s?

Hang on, it says that 'Axcellerator' was made in 2020, yet it feels like some sort of family-friendly sci-fi adventure that was all the rage in the 1980s.  Much like 'Inner Space' or 'Flight of the Navigator,' it leans heavily on lighthearted fun and breezy pacing, making it a film that parents can feel comfortable letting younger viewers enjoy. 

The story centers on a young man who stumbles upon an experimental device that allows instantaneous travel anywhere on the planet.  As expected, the first thing that happens is he discovers his 'love interest' before making him the target of shadowy villains and government agents, all of whom are painted in broad strokes as the stereotypical "bad guys." 

Instead of any real 'threat' it's more just an exciting playground game rather than anything truly menacing.  This makes it fine for younger audiences, though us oldies may find the lack of tension a bit underwhelming.  What 'Axcellerator' lacks in general realism, it makes up for with a clear sense of fun.  Even with a script that’s fairly basic and straightforward, the cast’s effort gives it at least a passable layer of charm. The dialogue might not win any awards, but it’s serviceable and peppered with enough humor to keep things lively.  

Visually, the film’s modest budget shows.  I would guess that around 90% of the film was shot against a greenscreen with special effects that are simple but just about effective, capturing the spirit of the story without ever overshadowing it. 

While 'Axcellerator' may not appeal to those seeking cutting-edge storytelling or sophisticated characters, it’s undeniably a good time for its target audience.  Young boys in particular may find it especially enjoyable, thanks to its adventurous tone and clear-cut morality. The movie is easy to follow, never taking itself too seriously and offers just the right mix of action and humor to keep the fun rolling (although for those of us who grew up with Sam Jones as the iconic Flash Gordon, it's simply nice to see him on screen again!).  

6/10.

Baby Oopsie (2021) - Nice enough effort

'Baby Oopsie' does its best to be a tongue-in-cheek with its horror, making it clear from the outset that this isn't a film meant to be taken too seriously.  Its lighthearted tone, while can be kind of funny sometimes, results in a lack of genuine scares or impactful gore. 

It's about a lonely woman who repairs dolls for her internet podcast, but gets more than she bargained for when she receives a - pretty damn hideous - broken doll in the mail.  Naturally, death and destruction follows.  

If you're in the mood for low-brow horror fun, it’s harmless enough, but don’t expect too much.  The film suffers from a script that doesn't deliver enough clever or sharp humor to make it genuinely funny, nor does it lean into horror elements enough to deliver any real horrific thrills. The effects are on the cheaper side and the titular killer doll doesn’t even make its full appearance until about half an hour in, leaving the early portion feeling slow.  

Despite these shortcomings, 'Baby Oopsie' has a few nice touches (plus I quite liked its ending!) and so does have a certain charm.  It’s not a standout in the genre, but it’s serviceable if you stumble across it while browsing a streaming service.  For those with tempered expectations, it’s worth a casual watch. 

5/10

Postal (2007) - The best of Boll's batch

2007’s 'Postal' stands out as Uwe Boll’s most entertaining film, which might not sound like high praise given his filmography, but - believe me - it's the best of the bunch.  The movie unapologetically revels in its outrageous humor, pulling no punches and sparing no sensibilities. You’ll need a thick skin not to be offended, as it gleefully lampoons everything from societal norms to world events which obviously were very tragic when they occurred in real life.  

The first half of the film shines with some surprisingly sharp social commentary, offering glimpses of clever satire amidst the chaos.  However, the second half trades wit for sheer absurdity, diving headfirst into gross-out gags that lose some of the momentum built earlier.  

While 'Postal' feels a bit dated today, it kind of doubles as a bizarre time capsule of 2007, capturing the absurdities of the time with a manic, no-holds-barred approach to a loose plot about an 'average Joe' of a guy, finding himself involved in no less than two plots from different bunches of nutters, all trying to destroy the world for their own ends.  If you lived through the era and can appreciate its madness with a sense of humour, you’ll find it an unexpectedly fun ride.  For all its flaws, it’s a weirdly fascinating film worth a watch if you know what you’re getting into. 

6/10.

Genesis II (1973) - A fun sci-fi romp from yesteryear

'Genesis II' is a 1973 TV movie and it shows.  Every set and scene could well be an extended episode of the original 'Star Trek' series, just removing the familiar cast.  This is hardly surprising, given that it was written by 'Star Trek' creator Gene Roddenberry.  Its tone, themes, and aesthetic make it easy to imagine this as a lost story from the 'Star Trek' universe, albeit one focused on Earth’s future rather than the final frontier.  

The film follows a familiar science fiction trope: Dylan Hunt, a scientist, is cryogenically frozen in the 20th century and wakes up in a distant future. This setup could have easily been generic, but 'Genesis II' delivers enough twists and turns to keep the audience engaged.  As the protagonist navigates this unfamiliar world and its various warring factions, the story delivers a few unexpected surprises that make the journey worthwhile.  

While its TV movie budget is evident in the somewhat dated effects and modest production design, the writing is actually quite fun.  Roddenberry's knack for weaving social commentary into his sci-fi is present here, exploring themes of progress, control, and human nature. The performances are solid, though they lack the charisma of the 'Star Trek' ensemble, plus the pacing sometimes feels a bit sluggish at times.  

Ultimately, 'Genesis II' is an intriguing 'what-if' scenario for fans of Roddenberry's work. While it doesn’t fully escape the limitations of being a TV movie, its twists make it worth a watch for science fiction enthusiasts. 

7/10

The Hitcher (1986) - Good fun, if you don't mind the flaws

'The Hitcher' is certainly a tense and gripping ride through the across the desolate highways of middle America and if you're looking for a standout performance then Rutger Hauer steals the show.  He's the complete nut-job who you really don't want to offer a lift to if you see him at the side of the road.  While the counterpoint is out unlucky hero, played by C. Thomas Howell, who also holds his own as the young protagonist caught in an escalating nightmare.  

The film thrives on its cat-and-mouse dynamic, which will definitely give you moments of high tension and edge-of-your-seat thrills.  Of course, being made in the eighties, you get practical effects which add some much-needed realism to the action which grounds the atmosphere in a gritty, real-world feel that suits the film's tone.  

However, the pacing does falter in places, with certain stretches feeling overly drawn out.  Also, the story  does tend to hinge sometimes on coincidences that may strain credibility for some viewers.  But, despite these flaws, 'The Hitcher' is a worthwhile 'bare-bones' thriller which makes for a darkly entertaining journey.  Fans of psychological thrillers and intense simple chase stories should find it is worth watching allowing its atmosphere and performances make up for its occasional lapses in logic and pacing. 

7/10

Strays (1991) - I taught a taw a bunch of puddytats

On paper, the premise of 'Strays' (a pack of killer cats terrorizing a family in their country home) sounds utterly absurd.  Yet, against all odds, weirdly the film manages to be surprisingly watchable.  The overall product is far from polished and the 'killer' moggies spend much of their screen time looking more confused than menacing.  Occasionally, animatronic stand-ins awkwardly fill in for their scarier scenes. 

The special effects are campy at best, but that adds to the charm in a 'so-bad-it’s-good' sort of way.  Despite the silliness, there’s something oddly engaging about 'Strays.' The family drama plays out earnestly enough like something out of a daytime soap, but there isn't too much so it just about manages to keep the viewer invested while the escalating absurdity of the feline menace makes sure it never becomes dull. 

It’s the kind of film you can’t help but chuckle at while still enjoying at the same time, even though the film-makers only seem to have one sound effect for the cats which is used.  And used.  And used...

6/10

Bride of Re-Animator (1990) - Good gory fun

'Bride of Re-Animator' is a direct sequel to the cult classic and it carries on the madcap mayhem and twisted humor of its predecessor.  However, newcomers might find themselves lost in its bizarre plot unless they’ve seen the original film, as much of the story and character motivations hinge on you knowing what went on in the first movie.  

But, don't worry, the plot isn't that hard to follow - mad scientist wants to bring dead bodies back to life.  That's all you really need to know, so for fans of cheesy, over-the-top gore, will get what they came for. The practical effects are gloriously grotesque and gleefully absurd, giving the film a strong campy appeal. 

Highlights include crazy creations, accompanied by moments of dark humor that keep the tone appropriately tongue-in-cheek.  Many of these moments come from Jeffrey Combs who, once again, shines as Dr. Herbert West. His performance is the anchor of the film and he does tend to steal every scene he’s in.  

Although the film is entertaining, it lacks a tight narrative and the sharp wit of its predecessor. The pacing drags in parts and some characters feel underdeveloped. Still, it’s a fun watch for those who enjoy campy horror and practical gore effects. 

6/10

The Toxic Avenger Part II (1989) - When it's good, it's excellent

'The Toxic Avenger Part II' is a gloriously wild ride, packed with deliberately over-the-top gore, inventive practical effects and a wicked sense of humor. It’s the kind of film that thrives on its excess making sure it never displays any hint of good taste to deliver an outrageous experience. As long as you’re not easily offended and are in the mood for something ridiculous, you’re in for a great time.  

The film’s biggest strength lies in its over-the-top set pieces and sharp, absurd dialogue, which make for some genuinely hilarious moments. However, at a bloated two-hour runtime, it’s hard to ignore how some scenes overstay their welcome. A leaner edit would have enhanced the pacing, ensuring the best parts shone even brighter.  Despite this drawback, 'The Toxic Avenger Part II' remains a cult classic for a reason. If you’re into the unapologetically outrageous gross-out horror fests, this sequel delivers exactly what you’d hope for.  Although I can't see our mutated hero ever fitting in with Thor and Captain America's 'Avengers' line-up!

7/10

Fright Night (1985) - Maybe I just didn't get it?

Having just finished watching 1985's 'Fright Night' for the third time, I find myself already to struggling to recall much of what happened in it.  I know most people who love both the horror/vampire genre and also 80s horror films in general hold it up as an iconic classic, but I just don't see it.

The whole story of a boy trying to prove his next door neighbour is a vampire feels too slow to sustain its premise.  That said, credit where it's due: the practical effects are a standout. The film's creature designs, transformation sequences and slime-filled monsters showcase the pinnacle of 80s horror.  These visuals remain genuinely impressive and add a touch of magic to an otherwise shallow character ensemble.  

All the cast all seem to try and 'ham it up' and yet the dialogue isn't really that funny or well-written.  While I do see why many hold it close, 'Fright Night' ultimately doesn’t sink its fangs deep enough to earn my full devotion. Still, its artistry ensures it’ll remain a conversation piece for horror fans everywhere.  Or maybe just watch it to see - what could be - the oldest-looking sixteen year old ever (the main character's best friend!) - he looks like a mutated Kevin Bacon's grandfather.

5/10

Time Walker (1982) - Could have been at least fun

'Time Walker' has a decent enough premise: an ancient mummy found in a university dig turns out to be more than it seems - so that's a good enough start for what is effectively a 'slasher' movie.  However, the whole film kind of falls short when it leans into being a ‘slasher’ rather than capitalizing on its sci-fi and supernatural elements.  

The biggest problem is the fact that the titular mummy barely gets screen time in the first two acts, reducing its menace and leaving the audience waiting too long for the promised thrills.  Meanwhile, the university students who serve as the mummy's victims range from bland to outright obnoxious. Some are so unlikeable that you might find yourself rooting for the mummy. 

Many of the characters are so poorly defined and similar in appearance that it’s hard to keep track of who’s who and the special effects are virtually nonexistent, offering nothing memorable or even passable for a horror movie of its era. 

At least the story  picks up toward the end, but it's a case of 'too little too late' and, although there’s a certain charm in the final twist, the ending is likely to frustrate viewers.  Without spoiling too much, the conclusion is effectively a cliffhanger/sequel bait.  

In the end 'Time Walker' could have a been at least fun, but is played way too straight with its blend of mummy lore, sci-fi, and slasher tropes.

4/10

Alien: Romulus (2024) - Not bad, for a 'midquel'

Right off the bat, 'Alien Romulus' isn't as good as the two previous entries in the series, but probably alongside the third and forth one (we'll just ignore the 'vs Predator' and 'Prometheus' movies). 'Romulus' wears its reverence for its predecessors on its sleeve with its oppressive, industrial set design to the dim, flickering lighting.  At least this goes a long way to make the film looks and feel like it was made alongside the original. 

The art direction and practical effects are pretty good and these 'plus points' go some way to obscure its narrative shortcomings. There's plenty of fan service and they do help to make up for just how bland most of the characters were (the only real stand-out is the android who's by far the most interesting of the - way too young - spaceship's crew).  However, as the story goes on, moments that echo 'Alien' and 'Aliens' come frequently—too frequently. The film risks leaning so heavily on its predecessors that it struggles to carve out its own identity. 

At least it is watchable, delivering enough tension, gore, and xenomorphic mayhem to satisfy fans.  Where the film falters most is in its plot.  At first glance, the story seems serviceable, but the cracks start to show if you think too hard about its finer details.  The lead actress will never come close to Sigourney Weaver's iconic portrayal of Ripley and general character motivations rely on leaps of logic that strain believability. 

Perhaps the worst part was the last fifteen minutes which are so drawn-out and redundant that they threaten to undo some of the goodwill the rest of the film earns. It’s not a total disaster, but it feels more like an extended epilogue than a satisfying conclusion.  Despite its flaws, 'Alien Romulus' is a worthy addition to the franchise for those willing to embrace it on its own terms. It may not match the brilliance of the original or its immediate sequel, but its nostalgic feel and overall tension make it an enjoyable, if imperfect, homage. Just don’t go in expecting airtight storytelling, and you’ll likely come out entertained.

7/10

The Glitterball (1977) - Nostalgic fun

You'll have to excuse the bias that I clearly exhibit when watching 1977's 'The Glitterball' - a film about an alien, er, ball, that comes to Earth and meets some local British kids.  Who needs E.T. eh?  I watched it so much as a kid that I practically know the script word for word.  I can't help but still feel that it's a charming slice of seventies British family entertainment, blending sci-fi with a dose of childhood adventure. 

It's so family friendly all the way and offers an innocent, nostalgia-soaked trip back to an era when storytelling for younger audiences prioritized heart and imagination over massive action set-pieces and alien sky-beams destroying New York.  The two young protagonists do their best to protect our spherical extraterrestrial from the usual suspects: bumbling crooks and skeptical adults. 

It’s a classic setup, but its simplicity works in the film’s favour, allowing its quirky humor and likable characters to shine. The Glitterball itself is the star of the show - even though it's merely a glowing orb with an endearing personality that communicates through lights and an appetite for earthly delights—particularly human food.  

The special effects, especially for the alien ball, hold up surprisingly well. While it’s not on the level of 'Star Wars' (released the same year, believe it or not!), the practical effects used to depict the Glitterball’s movement and interactions are inventive. Watching it devour biscuits and other snacks is both amusing and oddly mesmerizing, adding a playful charm to the film.  

I know I'm biased, but I still think most people will find 'The Glitterball' is good, wholesome fun (and who can't help but root for a plucky sentient snooker ball against a bad guy called 'Filthy Potter?')

7/10

Kronos - The 'Independence Day' of the fifties

Having been a regular cinema goer in the nineties, I was 'treated' to the delights of such cinema epics like 'Independence Day.' I guess that in 1957 'Kronos' must have been a showstopper and been the 'ultimate' alien invasion film of its day.  It was directed by Kurt Neumann and follows a team of scientists as they try and thwart an alien energy machine which is intent on draining Earth’s resources. 

What sets 'Kronos' apart is its towering titular antagonist which is a giant, metallic, pulsating machine that's menacing without having to resort to the modern day trope of a 'sky-beam' attacking a city. Watching it now, it’s impossible not to admire the ambitious special effects which were totally 'CGI-free' which bring Kronos to life. Okay, so the acting is what you'd expect from the fifties and packed with mid-century science-speak, making the performances kind of kitch by today's standards.

If you're thinking of watching it today then you need to appreciate the nostalgic sweet spot in cinema history that gave birth to it. It’s a reminder of a time when science fiction was a playground for big ideas, even if the budget couldn’t quite match the ambition. It’s not a flawless film, but its vintage charm and cultural significance make it worth revisiting for anyone who appreciates old-school sci-fi.  I'm kind of used to films having 'environmental messages' woven into them today, but I was surprised to see that kind of theme all the way back in the fifties.

6/10

Maneater (2022) - Nothing new, but not bad

The killer shark genre is nothing new - especially as the 'grand-daddy' of the genre ('Jaws') was released all the way back in the seventies.  Yet 'Maneater' manages to just about keep things interesting with its straightforward thrills. Sure, the premise of a man-eating shark terrorizing a group of beachgoers is nothing groundbreaking, yet there’s a certain charm in the simplicity of its execution. 

This definitely isn't the next 'Jaws,' but if you're looking for an easy, no-frills thriller to stream then 'Maneater' is surprisingly watchable.  What sets this film apart from the many shark movies that came before is the presence of Trace Adkins. Playing an older, grizzled local with a vendetta against the shark, Adkins brings a welcome touch of maturity and gravitas to a cast that otherwise feels like classic "monster-fodder." His character gives the film a bit more weight, and his screen presence stands out against the younger, thrill-seeking crew.  Although props to the younger lead actress who I'd never seen before, but kind of looked like Cameron Diaz from some angles.

Of course, no matter how good the cast is (and how many excuses they seem to make to go into the dangerous water!) it's the shark that everyone has come to see.  And, for a B-movie, the monster is in it a fair amount.  And, maybe it was because I happened to be watching this film on my phone while at the gym, but the creature looked quite passable in terms of special effects.

In the end 'Maneater' might not be a cinematic masterpiece, but never really tries to be anything more than a fun, occasionally tense thriller that does just enough to keep you watching. If you’re a fan of the genre or simply looking for something easy to stream, this one’s worth a bite.

6/10

The Bell Keeper (2023) - Actually not that bad

There are so many low budget horror films on streaming serviced these days, I don't bother reviewing the majority of them because I can't actually be bothered to watch them all the way through.  At first glance, 'The Bell Keeper' seemed like it may be just another one of those that I turned off after about half an hour.

It opens with the typical horror setup: a group of friends (one of which always struck me of a young-ish Edward Furlong - if you know your 'Terminator 2' cast!) stumbles upon a dark legend, strange happenings ensue, and we’re thrust into a familiar formula of haunted woods at night. The start is serviceable, with just enough suspense to keep you watching, though you may feel you've seen it all before.  But surprisingly, midway through, 'The Bell Keeper' throws in a bit of a curve ball - I thought it was going one way when it actually goes another. 

Instead of trudging through predictable tropes, it veers into (slightly!) fresher territory, offering an unexpectedly engaging take that may just keep you invested. This change in direction at least does a little more to make the movie stand out from the sea of horror films that struggle to maintain any originality. The film balances a new twist on its mythos with solid character moments, ultimately creating an atmosphere that is intriguing enough to finish.  It may not be groundbreaking or a must-see, but it's refreshingly watchable — especially in a genre overflowing with unwatchable entries. If you’re in the mood for a horror movie that tries something different, even if it doesn’t always succeed, 'The Bell Keeper' is worth a watch (and, is it just me, or were the film-makers hoping this would become some sort of franchise?).

6/10

Viral (2016) - Tip: Just watch the final act

'Viral' is a 2016 horror-thriller that, despite not technically being a zombie film, adheres closely to the genre’s familiar tropes.  Instead of the undead we have the more ('28 Days Later' style) 'infected' who can run and chase down our helpless human teens.  This time it's a worm-like parasitic outbreak which can take over the host and make them basically behave like a zombie.

The story follows two sisters trying to survive in their small suburban town which is slowly succumbing to the infection. The movie ticks off all the standard elements: quarantine zones, escalating paranoia, infected friends and neighbours and, finally, the gradual breakdown of society.  The biggest drawback, however, is that 'Viral' takes its time getting going when it comes to the action. The first two-thirds are light on tension, with sparse sightings of the infected.  This keeps the horror at bay but also slows down the pacing. Instead of ramping up the dread, it feels like the movie is treading water, making it hard to stay invested in the film (yes, I wanted to check my social media on my phone many a time during the first hour!).

The final act does pick things up, bringing in more action, confrontation and a few decent enough scenes of horror.  But. by then, it feels like a case of too little, too late.  Although 'Viral' does have its moments and is reasonably well-shot, the slow build-up dampens the impact of what could have been a more gripping story. 

5/10

Triggered (2020) - The title made me laugh

'Triggered' is quite a nice idea for a film, or at least it would be if the 'Saw' franchise had never existed.  A group of friends wake up in the woods with timed explosives strapped to their chests, each device linked to the wearer’s remaining life span.  The man responsible tells them that only one can survive, before he promptly removes himself from the 'game.' 

If you’re in the mood for a lesser version of one of the 'Saw' films—complete with twisted rules and the fight-for-survival tension—you might find that 'Triggered' scratches that itch.  Unfortunately, while 'Triggered' has a nice title which makes me smile whenever I think of how it relates to the story, overall the way it plays out is not really that spectacular. 

There's not a lot of creativity when it comes to 'eliminating' each character and therefore also to keep the audience guessing. The deaths themselves are surprisingly uninspired, and once the basic setup is clear, the plot offers little more than watching each character run through their doomed fate. As a result, it can feel one-note, leaving the title itself as possibly the cleverest element of the whole movie.  

In the end, 'Triggered' doesn’t quite reach the heights of even the weakest 'Saw' entry, nor does it offer enough fresh twists to stand out in the survival horror genre. For fans in need of a quick, albeit shallow, fix of deadly thrills, it might be a passable watch.

5/10

Dark Star (1974) - Dry, dark and the template for so much to come

Despite being a massive fan of John Carpenter's work, it's somehow taken me until 2024 to get round to watching his sci-fi/horror-comedy 'Dark Star.' I'd heard it was good, but didn't really know what to expect.  First of all I should mention that it's very low-budget, but you'll soon appreciate that that becomes part of its charm and its gained a cult following for such reasons. 

Directed and scored by John Carpenter and co-written by Dan ('Alien!') O’Bannon, 'Dark Star' mixes absurdist humor (talking bombs and inflatable monsters), tension, and genuine dread. It’s like a quirky prototype for future sci-fi and horror films that would become iconic in their own right. It has plenty of isolation, malfunctioning technology and dread aboard a spaceship that's on a mission to destroy unstable planets.  Now I've seen it I can see where movies like 'Alien' and TV shows like 'Red Dwarf' got their inspiration.  

But what makes 'Dark Star' shine is its unpredictable humor (did I mention the talking bombs?) and unique tone. The crew are even more lethargic and eccentric after years of monotony in deep space than the boys from 'Red Dwarf' and are hilariously deadpan as they confront increasingly bizarre and dangerous situations. The film's general creative strangeness (probably at least partially due to the film-makers having to make the most of their low budget) that makes this film memorable.  For fans of sci-fi, it’s fascinating to see how this small film set the stage for later classics, building tropes that filmmakers would pay homage to.  It's a little rough around the edges, but if you like your humour dark, quirky and dead-pan, plus you're a fan of sci-fi or horror (or just John Carpenter's work) 'Dark Star' is an incredibly imaginative and darkly funny ride.

8/10

Nobody (2021) - Sooo much fun

Sometimes there are films which don't really reinvent the wheel, but take a pretty tried and tested premise and put just enough spin on it to make it different enough to watch.  Well... although 'Nobody' adheres to taking the well-worn 'revenge' plot and injects it with such fun that I can't believe that anyone who enjoys the genre won't appreciate it.

If I had to sum it up, I'd say take 'John Wick' and cross it with 'Taken,' then wrap it in a 'Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul' bow and you have 'Nobody.' Bob Odenkirk beefs up from his most iconic role as 'Saul' from 'Breaking Bad' and 'Better Call Saul' and goes totally postal on some Russian gangsters once his family is threatened.

I'll say it again - the plot isn't anything you haven't seen a hundred times before, but when you have such great actors making every moment of the script work, then add some real bone-crunching action scenes and dark comedic moments, how can anyone possibly not love this?  Did I mention 'Doc Brown' himself (aka Christopher Lloyd) also wields a shotgun or two in this?

Also, it's worth noting that most movies these days never seem to know when to end, i.e. they go on too long. 'Nobody' weighs in at a tight ninety minutes and never wastes a second of screen time.  I guess the only negative thing I can think of is that it kind of got lost in the global nightmare than was the 'pandemic' a few years ago and never achieved the same levels of success that 'John Wick' and 'Taken' did, therefore it may not get the sequel it deserves.

9/10

Villains (2019) - Great fun

'Villains' is a darkly comedic thriller that I thought I wouldn't like during part of the opening act.  It's about a couple of criminals who go on the run after a series of robberies, but end up trying to hide out in another couple's house who may just actually be worse than them.  My main gripe was that I didn't really like any of the characters and therefore couldn't really find anyone to root for.  I'm pleased to say my opinion changed as the film progressed.

What follows is a "cat and mouse" setup and plenty of unexpected turns. Bill Skarsgård and Maika Monroe star as our hapless criminals and they're soon outmatched by a seemingly prim, but secretly twisted, homeowner couple (played brilliantly by Jeffrey Donovan and Kyra Sedgwick).  What makes 'Villains' so enjoyable is the interplay between these two couples, each capable of wielding a mix of innocence and menace that flips the power dynamic constantly. 

Donovan and Sedgwick deliver standout performances, making their characters unnervingly charming yet intimidating, while Skarsgård and Monroe eventually bring a grounded, relatable humanity to their roles, especially when things spiral out of control.  

The "cat and mouse" game between the two warring factions shifts in unpredictable ways, pulling us along with a genuine curiosity about who will ultimately come out on top.  These twists and reasonably short and sharp runtime (especially compared to the average film's runtime these days) actually will keep you guessing until the final scene. 

8/10

Steptoe and Son Ride Again  - This is more like it

As a die hard 'Steptoe and Son' fan of the British sit-com, I was a little disappointed with their first big screen outside (simply called 'Steptoe and Son).  However, the sequel was far more true to the original vibe of the TV show.

It follows the exploits of a couple of rag and bone men - a father and son duo who, although polar opposites, never seem to be able to leave one another.  The small screen series dealt out the comedy with the odd helping of black humour and dark sadness, but - ultimately - remained more weighted to the laughs.

The first film seems to veer the other way and dwell on the misery young Harold was in, depicting his father as an even more unsavory and scheming character than he normally was.  The difference is with the sequel is... well, everything.

It's a better situation, has more laughs and feels generally more upbeat (which I'm guessing is one of the main requirements for a comedy!).  I really find it hard to find a fault with it.  I suppose I should mention that all humour is rather 'slapstick' and can be a little crude and visual.  It's hardly 'high-brow' entertainment, but if you liked the series, you'll feel far more at home with this one.

Nowadays, I read online how there was originally planned to be a third in the film series, but this one actually under performed at the Box Office - possibly because fans felt like this would be more like the first one.  If you like the original show, or just want a few cheeky laughs from yesteryear, I think this one is a classic.

9/10

Steptoe and Son - Now I know

I practically grew up on the iconic (and bittersweet!) British sit-com of the sixties and seventies.  I watched them all the time with my mum and dad, eventually purchasing them on VHS and DVD.  But, even when I was very little, I heard my parents talk about (what I assumed) was an episode where Harold got married.  Right up until 2024 I always assumed I'd imagined that, until I bought (what I thought was the 'Steptoe and Son' film that I'd watched with my folks as a child.

What I got was, in fact, TWO 'Steptoe and Son' films (the second being the one I knew so well I could almost recite it word for word ('Steptoe and Son Ride Again').  It turned out what my mum and dad were talking about was the film.  And, they were right about many things.  They simply told me that it wasn't very good.  Harold did indeed get married, but ended up choosing his father over his new bride.

Now, before you claim I've 'spoiled' the story with the above, I should point out that the film opens with Harold and Albert leaving the divorce courts once the marriage is over.  What follows is effectively one long flashback which makes up the rest of the movie.

Now, if somehow you're unaware of the plot of the sit-com this was based on... it's about a father and a son scrap metal merchants from London.  It's the typical sit-com set-up where they're stuck together and unable to leave each other.  Episodes go by and nothing really changes as the plot does that trope of being reset at the end of every thirty minute story.

The trouble is with the film is that it follows this format.  Not only do you know the ending if you watch the first five minutes, but you know why the marriage will fail and that everything will return to normal, only after an hour and a half, rather than the usual thirty minutes.  This wouldn't be so bad, but where as the TV shows were 'laugh a minute' the film swaps the laughs for a darker, more mean-spirited tone and you'll just end up barely being able to watch the psychological torture and cringe-levels on display here.

I know I sound like I'm being overly-negative, but as it still stars the two stars from the TV show and there charisma and charm is on display at all time, meaning that it is at least watchable for that.  It's definitely the lowest episode (technically a film, but you know what I mean) of the whole series, but, baring in mind that 'Steptoe and Son' is nearly perfect most of the time, the movie still stands head and shoulders of many of its contemporaries (but the next one: 'Steptoe and Son Ride Again' is a million times better than this!). 

7/10

The Lost City - Nothing new, but totally watchable

'The Lost City' is a classic case of a film where the plot doesn't break any new ground, but the charisma and chemistry of its stars manage to elevate it. The story follows a familiar template—a romance novelist (played by Sandra Bullock) gets caught up in a wild jungle adventure alongside her book's cover model (Channing Tatum) after being kidnapped by an eccentric billionaire (Daniel Radcliffe).  In fact, I do believe - from what little I've read online about the movie - says it's basically the loosest of remakes of 'Romance in the Stone' (or one of the 'Romance...' films, I forget!).

Everything about it is so generic it's barely worth talking about it, however what truly makes 'The Lost City' shine, is Sandra Bullock, who, despite being a bit unlikable to begin with, becomes as charming as ever to watch.  Channing Tatum, playing against his usual type, adds a goofy sweetness to the dynamic, and the two have a playful chemistry that makes their banter entertaining, but, if you've seen Brad Pitt's name on the cast list, don't expect too much of him during the runtime (no spoilers here!). Daniel Radcliffe does his best to shed his Harry Potter image and plays the villain quite quirky and fun, though his character isn’t particularly complex.  

For me, the film's weakest point (besides the Playstation 2 level special effects!) was a minor sub-plot with the main character's literary agent tracking her down.  This part of the film could probably have been taken out completely and left the film's overall runtime a lot tighter.

'The Lost City' doesn’t reinvent the wheel, but it delivers enough laughs and charm to make for an enjoyable viewing (it's certainly the type of film you could have on in the background, go out to make a cup of tea, then come back in and found you haven't missed that much and can still pick up on the plot fairly easily). If you're a fan of Sandra Bullock or looking for a breezy, escapist romp, this one’s worth checking out.

6/10

Greta (2018) - Same old story, but with some nice moments

'Greta' is probably best described as a psychological thriller that follows a young woman called Frances (Chloë Grace Moretz) who gets 'lured' into a friendship with the titular 'Greta' (Isabelle Huppert), who is a lonely, manipulative widow. 

You can guess things don't end up going too well, but I'll give the film props for its ability to deliver tension and suspense with its moody atmosphere and eerie build-up, although the movie's greatest strength probably lies in its two leads.  The two performances are nicely the polar opposite of each other.

Personally, perhaps the thing I liked best about it was that the characters make - for the most part - logical decisions, rather than falling into the typical (mainly horror) trope of being dumb, just to move the plot forward.

However, despite these strengths, 'Greta' feels like a familiar story. The “stalker-thriller” plotline has been done many times before, and this film doesn’t offer much innovation to set it apart, besides the performances and few nicely creepy moments.  It follows a well-worn path, and while the direction and performances elevate it slightly, it never quite shakes off the sense of déjà vu.  In the end, 'Greta' is a solid thriller, but not an essential one. 

6/10

Haunt (2019) - Actually stayed in my mind for long enough to review

I watch so many B-movie horror flicks on streaming services that, sometimes, if I leave writing a review more than a few days after watching the film, I've completely forgotten everything about it!  'Haunt' may not be perfect, but it is solid enough to actually remain in my mind after a week or so in order to comment on it.

It's made by the writers/directors behind (the far superior!) 'A Quiet Place' and although it sure doesn't reinvent the wheel, it may just stay with you after the credits roll, thanks to a few atmosphere and brutal moments of tension and gore.  The story centers on a group of friends who visit an extreme haunted house on Halloween night, only to discover that the attraction is more sinister than they could have imagined. 

What follows is your typical 'slasher' movie as the friends are subjected to cruel traps and masked killers lurking in the shadows.  Where 'Haunt' does make its mark is in its pacing and its gnarly, practical effects and the masked killers—each with their own disturbing personas—are suitably creepy.  Plus the kills are satisfyingly gruesome for fans of blood-soaked horror.  

However, the film falls into the genre trope of its characters making frustratingly dumb decisions. It's hard not to roll your eyes at some of the choices made, as they often serve the plot more than common sense. This, in turn, makes it difficult to fully invest in their survival.  

And yet, despite these flaws, 'Haunt' was a film that I actually watched until the credits rolled as it offered enough thrills, chills and gory fun to make it worth a watch—just be prepared for some moments of head-shaking frustration along the way.

6/10

The Conference (2023) - Just about memorable

'Severance' is a dark horror-comedy that revolves around a group of employees attending a remote corporate retreat, only to find themselves embroiled in a deadly survival game orchestrated by unknown assailants.  Oh, wait, did I say 'Severance?' I meant 2023's 'The Conference.' It's a VERY easy mistake to make!

'The Convention' does break a few horror conventions here and there and maintains a balance between its gruesome moments and awkward humor.  Plus the performances are solid, particularly from the lead actors, who bring at least a touch of charm to an otherwise derivative script.  But most of the characters fall into that 'horror cliche' trap of being so damn stupid by splitting up at every given opportunity, making them even easier to dispatch by the masked killer.

There are some memorable moments such as the decent kills and practical gore effects, plus it does bring a bit of satire about corporate culture.  However, it's now a few days since I watched the film and I'm already struggling of things to say about it.  That probably sums it up best.  It's not bad.  It's an okay horror film and I didn't hate it, but whereas I can't really remember that much about it, I can remember plenty of great moments from 'Severance' and that was made all the way back in 2006.  

'The Conference' is decent, but not a must-watch.  My advice: watch 'Severance.'

6/10

The Adam Project (2022) - I couldn't not like it (and I tried!)

Although I'm quite a fan of Ryan Reynolds, I went into 'The Adam Project' not really expecting much, I figured it would be just another straight-to-streaming-service sci-fi flick (feel free to correct me if it was ever released in the cinema, but I certainly never saw it advertised there!).  But I was pleasantly surprised to find myself charmed by its upbeat story and playful energy. From the outset, it was easy to assume this movie would lean heavily on familiar tropes, but Ryan Reynolds’ ever-charming performance, paired with a heartfelt script, made it hard to dislike.

Mr Deadpool himself plays Adam Reed (or rather yet another version of the actor - yes, he may not have an awful lot of 'range,' but he's so watchable, do we really care?) who is a time-traveling fighter pilot who crash-lands in 2022 and teams up with his 12-year-old self (Walker Scobell) to save the future. The premise may sound like a typical time-travel adventure, but there's a genuine sense of fun and nostalgia that sets it apart. In many ways, 'The Adam Project' reminded me of those classic 80s films centered around kids' adventures, like 'The Goonies.' It captures that same spirit of youthful wonder, blending humor, family dynamics and heartfelt moments into a cohesive narrative that feels fresh enough to be enjoyable.

I don't know much about the film's production.  Like I say... I never saw it advertised theatrically, so maybe it didn't have a 'mega-budget' behind it.  Therefore, some of the special effects are a little underwhelming and the action is a tad generic.  Yet, overall, 'The Adam Project' is a light, enjoyable film that doesn't aim to be more than it is. It's a nostalgic throwback to simpler cinematic times, with enough charm to win over even the most skeptical of viewers.  It's a rare film these days that I reckon that pretty much the whole family can enjoy as the 'violence' and bad language is very played down and PG13-esque.

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that

Firestarter (2022) - Decent enough little horror film

As someone who seemed to miss the original 'Firestarter' back in 84, I found the 2022 remake on a streaming service and I therefore can't really compare the two.  However, this version is perfectly serviceable within the landscape of modern horror films, despite not really being a stand out which will break new ground.

Zac Efron is a father of a child with supernatural powers (his daughter can summon fire when she gets angry, in case you didn't guess).  Efron is desperate to protect his daughter from those who want to exploit her dangerous powers and the actor does a decent job here, delivering a solid performance, but it's clear that the role doesn't demand much from him. He's come a long way from his High School Musical days and a more dramatic script would certainly be within his capabilities.

The real focus of the film is, of course, on the young girl, Charlie, played by Ryan Kiera Armstrong. Her portrayal is a bit hit or miss.  At times, she's actually pretty watchable, but at other moments, her performance can feel a little forced or inconsistent. Given that Charlie's emotional journey is central to the story, this unevenness does impact the film's overall effectiveness.

The actual story is nothing that new, i.e. following a child with superpowers as she struggles to control them while being hunted by nefarious forces.  I guess if that's all you're looking for then you'll find a certain degree of entertainment here, even if it doesn’t bring much new to the table. The film’s pacing is generally fine, though it can feel a bit slow in places, and the tension doesn’t always build as effectively as it could.

I'm now tempted to seek out the original as it would be interesting to compare this version to the source material, especially considering how Stephen King's work has been adapted differently across various decades. While this 2022 remake is far from bad, it also doesn't stand out in the crowded field of recent horror releases. It's a watchable film that delivers some thrills, but it’s unlikely to leave a lasting impression.

6/10