Dead Again (2021) - Sean of the Dead, it isn't

I'm guessing the film-makers behind 'Dead Again' must be massive fans of the Simon Pegg 'Cornetto Trilogy' as it's effectively a cross between 'Hot Fuzz' and, of course, 'Sean of the Dead.' Sadly, it doesn't even come close to either.  It starts off really serious and you think you're going to be in for some world-ending, apocalyptic epic adventure.  You get quite the opposite.

A pair of police officers (who are the typical 'funny man' and 'straight man' or discount versions of Nick Frost and Simon Pegg) patrol a quiet little English country town where nothing out of the ordinary ever happens.  Naturally, the dead start to rise and cause all kinds of havoc, well, nearly.

Some films don't have a budget that matches their concept, yet can be forgiven because they have other qualities such as a good script which makes up for it.  Here, it doesn't have either and when it's not copying lines from 'The Thing' it's adhering to every horror cliche ever.  The two policemen are by far the best actors - the others aren't really up to much, but then the script is so clunky the poor actors aren't really given much to work with.  There aren't any actors you'll probably recognise (or certainly none that I'd seen in anything else!).  Plus the scenes just ramble on and on - whether they're supposed to be 'character building' or 'dramatic' (such as the longest and most boring chase ever through an empty house where the camera simply follows the victim for longer than you could ever wish for).

Also, the direction is weird with strange red filters (with a firework/sparkler at the top) on outside shots and then when they're not using cheap Instagram filters it's like the camera is over-exposed and really bright and overly vibrant.  Again, this all adds to the 'cheap factor' and when there are kills, don't expect any good gore.  They can't afford that.  Just the odd CGI splatter of blood for head shots.

Overall, it feels like a student film - and not a very good one.  It is short.  That's about the best thing I can say about it.

5/10 a hard trek, a bit like unicycling to Mordor and back

Ibiza Undead aka 'Zombie Spring Breakers' (2016) - Just watch 'Sean of the Dead'

I know that 'Sean of the Dead' was released well over ten years before this entry into the - by 2016 - slowly rotting corpse of a genre which all things undead had become by then.  If it was released a decade earlier 'Ibiza Undead' may have stood more of a chance for being - at least a little bit - original, but there are simply a hundred better zombie TV shows and movies by this stage.

A group of teens head to Ibiza (while a zombie outbreak is well underway) - this is about the most interesting act of the story as it seems that humanity considers flesh-eating ghouls as simply a minor inconvenience, rather than a threat to their species and the bringers of the apocalypse.  There are even pamphlets explaining the 'dos' and 'don'ts' of how to deal with the monsters - to which some of the protagonists are so unbothered that they don't even read them!

Anyway, the two main leads feel like carbon copies of James Corden and his mate's characters from 'Lesbian Vampire Killers.' I've only seen that film the once so I simply remember Corden's performance of being kind of loud-mouthed, over s3xual and swearing a lot.  Well, if you don't like Corden and his style in general, you'll hate the dime store version of his character in 'Ibiza Undead.' He's really cringe and hard to watch - even towards the end when the writers try to make us feel sorry for him he messes his 'redemption arc' up and reverts back to his awful type.

Most of the characters are basically unlikable, but at least 'Peep Show's' Matt King puts in a performance that shows he's head and shoulders above the rest.  The film doesn't really have the budget for much gore (besides a semi-reasonable amputation about three quarters the way through the film) and it certainly doesn't have the talent from the writers.

If it does have a plus point is that it looks quite pretty with plenty of bright and neon colours, giving off the 'clubby' vibe that Ibiza is famous for (not that I've been there, so I'm just guessing!) and there are a few 'screen wipes' which reminded me of the way they changed scenes in 'Star Wars' which feel a little pointless here.

By the end, you won't really care about any of the protagonists and having them suddenly develop into super zombie bada$$ killers in the final scene feels totally out of place and character and the semi rip-off of the end of the 2004 'Dawn of the Dead' end scene doesn't add a fraction of the emotional weight it did in Zack Snyder's version.  In fact, you can watch that, 'Sean of the Dead' or pretty much any other zombie film or TV show and be more entertained or amused than this one.

5/10 a hard trek, a bit like unicycling to Mordor and back

Dark Harvest (2023) No idea where this was heading

I've got a feeling that this review is going to be pretty short.  I don't really have much to say about 2023's 'Dark Harvest.' It's set in a small American town where some sort of beastie is terrorising the local population, in particular a class of teenage boys who, decide one day to fight back.

That doesn't sound so bad for a generic B-list horror movie.  But it's just that nothing really happens throughout the film.  Yes, the beastie occasionally pops out and kills someone and he's not so bad in terms of practical effects.  However, this is few and far between and most of the film is just teenage boys (who you won't really like that much) arguing with each other.

Parts of the film are shot at night.  Nothing wrong with that - if the film-makers could actually light the sets properly and many a night scene comes across like it's been set in pure darkness.

Worse still, by the halfway mark of the film, I had no real idea what the hell was going on.  I hope it's not just that I'm losing braincells more and more every day, so hopefully that's just a personal problem.

If you can stick with it there's a bit more carnage in the final act, but is it really enough to warrant sitting through the whole thing just to get to a sub-par finale?

4/10 You can watch this film while you're doing the ironing (you'll still get the general gist of it)

Love Hurts (aka 'Most Horrible Things' 2022) - Guess you'll either love or 'hurt' it!

I watched 2022's 'Most Horrible Things' (apparently also known as 'Love Hurts' which is probably a better title on reflection) on a streaming service and, as many people probably feel, streaming services do just tend to fill up their channel with 'content' rather than considering the merits of what they're putting out.  For that reason, many of the horror films I watch on their are pretty dire.  Perhaps that was a good thing when I sat down to watch it, as my expectations were pretty low.

And it is certainly low budget.  Set over the course of a night where six strangers are invited to dinner at the promise of $10,000 each for their stay by the mysterious owner.  Naturally, things don't go to plan and the bodycount starts to rise as the night progresses.

But, just because there's no budget or even big name actors, doesn't mean it's not worth considering.  The characters, being basically only eight of them, all get a chance to be in the spotlight and there are some nice 'reveals' about some of them that I didn't see coming.

All the actors play their parts well (my personal favourites were the mansion's host/owner and his loyal butler!) and I kind of knew that all would not be what it first seemed and that there were probably going to be a few twists and turns as the story unfolded.  I was right in that there are a few 'left turns' the story takes, but I'm notoriously bad at predicting these sorts of things, so maybe it's just me when I say that I never saw any of them coming.

Naturally, there are no huge alien invasions or high-speed car chases, so if you choose to watch this you're going to need to be in the mood for a slow burner.  I've read a few other reviews and it seems that opinion is split with other viewers either loving or hating it.  Personally, I wouldn't say it's a classic that will stand the test of time, but it's definitely worth watching if you're in the mood for this sort of film and you get the chance to see it as part of your streaming package.

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that

The Beaster Bunny (2014) - Not worth your time

You may like B-movies.  You may like cheesy 'so-bad-they're-good' movies and you may like horror movies.  It doesn't matter.  It won't give you back the time you've wasted watching this.  I know it doesn't take itself seriously and so maybe I'm being too harsh, but this film is just poor.

I guess I have to start with the (least) 'special' effects I've ever seen - and I've seen some pretty bad ones.  The monster-rabbit is so badly animated it can't actually run (oh, and to me it looked more like a rat than a rabbit - seriously - it's ears are too small!).  Instead, characters run away from it and they we cut to scenes of them dead because the CGI creature can't afford to actually be seen killing them.

The acting is just awful.  And there's deliberate nudity.  I only really mention the two together because I'm guessing the film-makers hired actresses better known for their 'adult' roles in which to wave their hands in the air while topless before we see their severed remains.

Any characters that aren't automatically killed are totally unlikable and special mention to the mayor of the town who is the most annoying character I've seen in a while.  I practically only stuck with the film because I wanted to see him killed.

You shouldn't watch this.  There's so much better out there in the cheesy, laughable horror genre.  It's like it's been written by two sets of writers as there is the odd scene that's actually quite well written (like the one in a cafe between a father and daughter).

And what's with the random 'Aliens' line thrown in there?

2/10 Scuzzier than the leftover goo from a Queen alien's egg sack

Summer Camp (2015) - Shake it, baby!

Wow, I've watched bad films before and not enjoyed them because of things like story, acting, plot etc, but 'Summer Camp' gave me a new reason to really consider turning it off from any time after the twenty minute mark.

I'm a general fan of horror and/or B-movies, so I've watched (and enjoyed) a tonne of cliched films where a handful of teenagers get stalked by - insert monster or serial killer of your choice here - and liked them for what they were.  So when the summary of this movie was basically, four camp councillors get infected with a deadly disease while in a Spanish summer camp, I was pretty sure I'd be getting some form of zombie outbreak film.

And I got basically just that - only with two major differences/problems.  The first was that the film was just too damn dark to ever see what was going on.  Seriously, I actually tried adjusting my TV's contrast and brightness in the hope of actually working out what was going on.  The second - and even worse - problem was that the camera constantly shakes whenever something - supposedly scary - happens.  This, combined with the fact that the film is shot in near darkness means I couldn't tell what was happening at any time.

One example was two people driving in a car.  One attacks the other.  The car crashes.  I assumed both were still in the vehicle, but it turned out one had got out (or jumped out?) and I hadn't been able to see this happen on screen.

In short, this film just doesn't work because you need night vision goggles to even stand a chance of getting anything out of it.  I don't know how you overcome the 'shaky-cam' - maybe just be used to being on a ship on choppy water?  There are a million better zombie/infection stories out there that you can actually see what's going on.

4/10 You can watch this film while you're doing the ironing (you'll still get the general gist of it)

The Lair of the White Worm (1988) - Has to be seen to be believed

For a horror fan it's hard to believe that I've only just seen this film in 2023.  It's one film that I actually find hard to describe.  I guess it's definitely a horror movie, but is it scary?  Not really.  So is it a farce, or a comedy?  No, definitely not.  It's somewhere in the middle, never completely going full 'self aware,' but at the same time definitely not as serious as other classic tales from the genre.

It's about a pair of archaeologists who discover evidence in the British countryside of a giant worm that's the basis from some local folklore.  The two men are played by Hugh Grant (who hasn't really changed much!) and Peter Capaldi (who it took me a while to actually recognise as he's one of those actors who somehow you find it hard to picture as ever being 'young!'). 

Their discovery leads them to get to know a particularly curious member of the gentry, one Lady Sylvia Marsh (Amanda Donohoe).  Naturally, it turns out that she knows more than a little about the fable of the 'white worm.'

It may sound like a fairly generic horror movie, but I can assure you that the way it's shot and the vivid and unsettling imagery will stick in your head long after the credits have rolled.  There are parts that are trippy and just plain weird and sometimes you won't know whether to be scared, disgusted or simply laugh out loud.

It's sort of like an old British Hammer horror film, but with a higher budget and filmed while high on certain substances.  Grant and Capaldi are good in the leading roles, but it's the scenery-chewing Donohoe that steals every moment she's on screen.

If you're a fan in general of quirky horror films then you really should see it the way it was meant to be before some Hollywood producer decides to remake it and it becomes a shadow of its former self. 

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that