Vengeance of the Leprechaun (2020) - Suddenly Warwick Davis is Shakespeare

Seeing as most of my favourite films are cheesy B-movies which are either horror/sci-fi, or both, I have a special place in my heart for the (original) 'Leprechaun' franchise, starring Warwick Davis as the titular nasty little fella, always hell bent on getting his greedy supernatural little hands on his mislaid gold.  Yes, as the franchise went on, generally audiences tuned out and the sequels were less and less impressive, compared to the original.

Now, I knew that this 'Vengeance of the Leprechaun' had nothing to do with that franchise and so wasn't expecting any of the cast or crew to spill over.  But I was at least hoping the film-makers would have a decent take on the mythos and produce something that was at least entertaining (and I will always take 'entertaining' over 'good').

Sadly, all I got was a cheap, nasty little B-movie which could have been made for the price of a postage stamp.  The actors (and I can just about call them that loosely) are pretty awful and some of the scenes are directed poorly and the edits drag scenes out making the dialogue even more shoddy than it already is.

Don't get me started on the special effects - they're really not that special, if they ever come at all.  The inclusion of a slight green filter is about the high point of the film-makers budget.  The creature himself is little more than a bloke in a mask and he's not even a little person, making his status as 'leprechaun' almost comically - in a bad way.

This is a bad, cheap film unworthy of the 'Leprechaun' name.  I know it's probably not anything to do with the old Warwick Davis franchise, but if you're into cheeky black comedy horror films with little nasty supernatural bad guys then go for one of them over this pile of tosh.

2/10 Scuzzier than the leftover goo from a Queen alien's egg sack

The Kill Room (2023) - Mind candy

I'm not going to say that 'The Kill Room' is the greatest film even, but I did find it on a streaming service and it looks like it was made specially for that platform.  In other words, compared the dross which is mere 'content' you can find there, actually coming across a film with recognisable actors really was a breath of fresh air.  It's because of this that I probably enjoyed it more than it probably deserved.

Uma Thurman plays a struggling art dealer who gets a 'break' in terms of selling art when career criminal Samuel L Jackson drops by and offers her a business proposition.  It starts out well and her gallery takes off, but soon she realises that she has effectively made a deal with the devil, or at least the kind of organised criminals you really don't want to invite to your high class cocktail parties.

I quite liked the dialogue.  Yes, the characters themselves may be - deliberately (?) vapid and shallow - but they were at least funny.  Or rather they were suitably scathing to other - equally shallow and vapid - art critics who infest the high-brown scene.  Thurman's intern may be a little bit annoying, but, apart from her, the combination of Thurman and Jackson carry the film with ease.

No, it'll never be up there with their other offerings like 'Kill Bill' or 'Pulp Fiction,' but if you're a fan of either actor, you'll definitely get something out of the film.  Or, if you're just tired of films on steaming services that cost about as much as a glass of milk to get made, at least this one had a budget that the film-makers bothered to spend on a script and competent actors who could make the most of it.

6/10 Should probably keep you awake if Freddy Krueger was haunting your nights

Follow the Dead (2020) - What happened?

I think it's safe to say that since 2004, if you were to give the plot summary of a film as 'a bunch of losers try to comically survive a zombie apocalypse' then you'd automatically think of 'Shaun of the Dead.' It was a classic and well deserving of its iconic status.  Of course if something is successful then others will try to copy.  Over the years we've got plenty more 'comedy horror zombie' movies featuring lovable losers.  Some were good, some were bad, but most were pretty forgettable.

Here we have Ireland's entry into the genre.  Yes, it's another 'SotD' rip-off, so I won't bore you with a detailed plot synopsis, as there's not much you haven't seen before.  I knew what I was getting into when I sat down, so I can hardly complain about its lack of originality.

And, as it began, I was pleasantly surprised.  For a start, the characters were nice.  And they were funny and therefore likable.  Yes, there are more than a few Irish stereotypes thrown in there to keep reminding the international viewers that this is definitely set in the Emerald Isle, but, overall, all characters do a good job.  My hopes were high.

So, I waited for the zombies to show.  And I waited.  The film began to drag about a quarter of the way through its runtime, but I continued to wait.  The beginning was so strong and well-written I wanted to give it every possible chance.

Eventually, it ended.  And, my overall summary would be that this is a zombie movie without any zombies.  Okay, I'm exaggerating.  There were some, but - seriously - in a film about the undead, chucking them in there for a handful of scenes barely counts in my opinion.

What you have for the main part is relationship drama.  Just like the zombies never really show, the jokes slowly dwindle in favour of relationship issues.  There's not much gore and I swear they stole a prominent mask from another horror film (I think 'Nightbreed' but I could be wrong).  Anyway, what could have been a memorable entry ended up being pretty run-of-the-mill and an example of what could have been.

5/10 a hard trek, a bit like unicycling to Mordor and back

Terror Trips (2021) - Well... I liked it anyway!

I'll admit it right off the bat - I really enjoyed this film.  It was only when I went to see other people's reviews after I'd watched it, did I realise I think I may be in the minority.  It's about a group of American teenagers who go to a remote part of the world and end up falling foul of whatever is out to pick 'em off one by one.  Nothing new with the premise.  If you're into your horror films then you've seen that a hundred times with only slight variations on that synopsis.

When it started, I did question whether I was going to enjoy it.  The sets were pretty bland.  You could probably recreate al the sets from whatever you have lying around in your back garden.  However, when the six characters are introduced - yes they do tend to each be a bit 'one note' in terms of characterisation, they are actually likable.

The story's big point is that all six protagonists are all open horror fans and are therefore well aware of the cliches and conventions the genre has to offer.  So, seeing as most of my favourite films are cheesy eighties B-movie horror, I like to think I got most of the 'in jokes' sprinkled into the script for us die hard gore hounds.  Plus the characters are actually quite likable.  None of them were such stereotypes that they were annoying and you find yourself preying for whatever masked serial killer or monster is stalking them to take them out as soon as possible.

So the acting and characters are nice.  Plus, on the whole, based on how main characters normally act in horror films, they do make rational decisions when they fall foul of the threat in Eastern Europe while scoping out sets from previous horror movies.  But don't go expecting too much gore.  The kills are hardly imaginative and, although most of the slices and dices are practical, when it comes to blood splatter it was blatantly computer-generated.

So, I maybe in the minority in terms of who liked this and who didn't, I'd say it's worth a watch for your die hard horror fan.  The only real gripe I could find was the - literal - ending.  It effectively just stopped in what - to me - felt like the middle of a scene, leaving me with a bit of an 'oh right, is that it?' kind of feeling.  Besides that, I did enjoy the ride.

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that

Mongolian Death Worm (2010) - Discount Tremors

I think this review will be like when I used to misbehave at school and get given lines by the teacher.  I'll basically be writing the word 'Tremors' over and over again.  Not much else to say.  In case you're into your cheesy and monster-munching movies and - for some reason - haven't seen the classic 'Tremors' film starring Kevin Bacon, it's about giant man-eating worms who live in the desert.

'Mongolian Death Worm' - as the title basically gives away - is about the same.  The cast are all a bunch of ruffians - similar to the band of rowdy human survivors in 'Tremors.' The creatures look almost identical, only here now they're computer-generated, rather than practically created.  And, to be fair, the worms themselves aren't that bad when they appear on screen (not that they're on screen for as much as I'd probably liked), but the effects do take a bit of a nose dive when things like large explosions have to be artificially made.

If you liked 'Tremors' then you'll probably at least get something out of this.  But the only question is, if you actually have access to 'Tremors' (whether it be on DVD or streaming service) then you might as well watch that and get a 'proper' experience when it comes to man-eating desert-based worms.  I guess if you don't have access to 'Tremors' but you want to watch something like it then this may keep you entertained.  It's not terrible, it's just not as good as 'Tremors' by a mile.

4/10 You can watch this film while you're doing the ironing (you'll still get the general gist of it)

Flood! (1976) - Mostly dry flood

Let's face it, we're all probably more than a little guilty at watching 'disaster movies' to see the scale of whatever carnage is being inflicted on our helpless protagonists.  I don't want to spoil 'Flood!' but in this case a small town is being threatened by a plague of locusts from the future.  Only kidding.  It's a flood.  Or rather a big dam just by their town and if it breaks - and it's already starting to crack - it'll flood the town and home insurance is going to go through the roof when it comes to the residents' next premium.

So we're introduced to the two men who have an idea as to what might happen and they try to warn the rest of the town.  Or at least they try to warn the town's leader, who - in tried and tested stubborn style - refuses to believe them because if they drain the water from the dam it will impact on the revenue that fishing brings into their local economy.

So our heroes persist in their efforts to warn more people (in between popping home to their respective women who look about twenty years their junior, but that's another story).  And then they go to a different location and warn a different person.  In fact, most of the film is set in - very dry - houses with people talking to people about what might happen, i.e. the flood.

It's only the last twenty minutes or so where you see the actual flood.  Now, maybe this pay-off is so awesome and ground-breaking that it makes the build up worth the wait?  Sadly, this is a TV movie and there wasn't much of a budget for big practical effects, let alone an alien invasion with a skybeam.

So you have a film which is quite long and desperately wants to be an epic in its genre, but the lack of anything that really happens just makes most of it drag.  Pity really, as it does have its charms and with a little more money behind it for the effects in the final act and a little less scenes building up, this could have been quite good.

5/10 a hard trek, a bit like unicycling to Mordor and back

Don't Click (2020) - Could have been good

I've got nothing against low budget horror films - in fact, they make up most of my DVD collection.  If a story is inventive enough to grip you and use only a handful (or one!) location, then there's a good chance that it can use it's - limited - budget in new and creative ways. 'Don't Click' is definitely a low budget film about a college student who er 'indulges' in dodgy websites, but gets more than he bargained for when a supernatural website - literally - sucks him in.  And then, to make matters worse, it draws in his flatmate.

I was quite happy with that premise.  We see where they're taken straight away - a creepy, single room with no exits and foreboding lighting.  And we're introduced to the film's main 'antagonist' who kind of looks like Hellraiser's 'Pinhead' (if he was going for a job interview at a reasonably-priced men's fashion store) and he's actually quite well made-up in terms of gore.

However, the film starts to run out of ideas and, before I wrote this review, I noticed that it was based on a short film.  That makes sense.  There's clearly enough here for something shorter, but not really a full theatrical release.

The film-makers are forced to pad out the runtime with needless flashbacks which slows the pace down as opposed to moving the story forward to whatever conclusion is going to come.

The performances are okay and, as mentioned the suited nasty who resides in this 'online dimension' is actually pretty menacing, but the whole plot kind of meanders and you could probably skip the middle part because it's all just padding until the final confrontation.

This is a shame really as this could have been a nice little cult classic. 

3/10 Jabba the Hutt wipes himself down with this film