Wednesday 24 April 2024

The Legend of Jack and Jill (2021) - How quickly will I forget this?

Okay, I confess... I've left it almost twelve hours before getting round to reviewing 'The Legend of Jack and Jill' which basically means I've almost completely forgotten everything about it.  

I think I was consciously invested for at least the opening two minutes, where I saw a woman forced to abandon her children (Jack and Jill, would you believe?) in the British wilderness.  Skip forward to when the kids have now grown up and they're mutated killers and there's a bunch of young adults about to take a hiking trip effectively through Jack and Jill's back garden, so to speak.

You can probably guess what happens next.  One by one our 'heroes' are picked off, blah, blah, blah... The problem is that I'm guessing I'm not the only one who has practically forgotten everything about what they just watched in a matter of hours.  This movie is totally forgettable.  It's problems are that you won't care about the people being killed.  Nothing wrong with that in itself.  It wouldn't be the first slasher film where the people you're watching are little more than 'meat sacks' waiting to be slaughtered.  The trouble is that there's nothing that interesting about the killers either.  Add to it that if you're hoping that there might at least be some inventive kills and gore, there isn't.  The kills aren't that grisly.  The acting isn't that sharp.  The make-up you could probably do yourself if you're going out for Halloween and the overall premise of the killers being (horrific) incarnations of a popular nursery rhyme really isn't explored.  Seriously, if you called this film 'Woodland Mutant Killers' no one would ever say, 'Wow, this is like a slasher version of that old nursery rhyme.' 

I can't believe anyone who sits down to possibly watch this hasn't seen a slasher film before.  You're probably at least slightly into the genre.  Therefore, you've seen better.  You probably have better DVDs in your collection.  Just put one of those on.

4/10 a hard trek, a bit like unicycling to Mordor and back

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