Isolation (2005) - If 'Alien' had simply been called 'Cow'

If someone tried to tell me the plot for 2005's 'Isolation' I'd probably think they were making it up, or, if the film was as they described, I'd think it was some sort of parody film of the 'monster movie' of the horror genre.  But it isn't.

If you think about 'Alien' and how it was set on a spaceship.  Then you think of 'The Thing' and how it was set deep in the Antarctic and sort of combine the overall theme of the two, only set it on a country farm in the middle of Ireland.  One question you may ask is... isn't a farm a lot easier to escape from (as opposed from a deep space craft or totally inhospitable terrain on all sides) - especially if some hideous killer monster was on the loose.  I would say the answer is yes.  But that's just one of the movie's sins.

The cast (or staff on the farm) of the film are some of the most uninspired and generic you'll ever see.  They really are a bland bunch and one guy (who's supposed to be at least one of the main heroes!) spends much of the time crying!  I've never met a quartet with less personality therefore I really couldn't care much for their plight when the monster started its munching.

Oh, yes, the monster... it's hardly the xenomorph from 'Alien' or the insanely grotesque shape-shifter from 'The Thing.' It's a scraggly pink sausage creature that writhes and wiggles about the place.  I think it may have teeth.  It's not in it for long - probably due to lack of budget.  

There's not much to recommend about this film.  I don't want to be too harsh on it.  It doesn't have a million glaring faults making it completely unwatchable.  In fact, it's major fault would be just how mediocre it really is in terms of those in the genre.  There's nothing especially bad, but there's nothing that will make you remember it.  Oh, and the monster came from a cow.  Yeah, the cows incubate them, so perhaps this film is at least a good advert for going vegetarian.

4/10 a hard trek, a bit like unicycling to Mordor and back