Plane (2023) - Bulletproof aviation

A YouTube film reviewer who I normally trust described 2023's 'Plane' as a nineties-style action film in the modern era and generally sung its praise.  So, seeing as movies of that genre are a real nostalgic favourite of mine, I figured I'd give this one a go.

I can see where the reviewer was coming from.  It's a pretty simply plot - passenger plane pilot (Gerard Butler) crashes his jumbo jet on a remote island, whose only real population seems to be terrorists.  Naturally, the passengers are taken hostage and it's up to Butler and another passenger (Mike Colter) to get them out alive.

Yeah, it's fun.  But - and maybe this is just my biased, nostalgic view - those action films of the nineties (i.e. 'The Rock' and 'Speed' etc) seemed to get going right from the beginning and never take their foot off the brake until the credits rolled.  With 'Plane' you can pretty much scroll through your favourite social media site on your phone while the first half of the story plays out.  Really not much happens.  Of course the action really gets going in the second half, but you can effectively skip everything until the passengers are actually taken hostage.

The villains are pretty much cookie-cutter stereotypes - simply 'evil dudes' being evil.  One even started to make me laugh because every time he was on screen he scowled to such a degree he might as been wearing an 'angry mask.' The other - minor - gripe was during the end.  As I elude to in this review's title, the plane is kind of 'bulletproof.' I don't know anything about planes or how they work, but I'm pretty sure you can't really fly with an entire army's bullets slugged into your windshield, but - hey - never mind.

There's nothing majorly new about 'Plane,' but if you can find it for cheap (or on streaming service) and you generally like all-out action then it's definitely worth a go - especially for the gunfight at the very end and an awesome 'sniper-style' rifle that generally makes mincemeat of the bad-guys.

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that

Totally Killer (2023) - The good outways the bad

The thing with time travel movies is that they rarely make sense.  If you're so inclined, you can tear apart even the biggest classics from the genre, such as 'The Terminator' and 'Back to the Future.' Yes, time travel isn't real and therefore doesn't have any official 'rules' so it's up to you to decide what makes sense.  And, as 'Totally Killer' shamelessly admits to, it's basically 'Back to the Future' (but with serial killers).  And, what's more it doesn't make sense in terms of physics.

So, you can either hate it for it's lack of scientific inaccuracies, or you can simply enjoy it for being a fun ride which satires everything from social attitudes from the present day compared to the eighties, to horror/slasher films in general. I chose the latter.  And I enjoyed it a lot.

Let's just ignore the 'time travel mechanics' itself.  You don't need to know how she does it, but our young protagonist somehow finds herself taken from her 'safespace' of 2023 all the way back in time to the 'hedonistic' eighties.  There, she finds that a serial killer is still on the loose and that she now has the power to stop him - and potentially mess up her parents ever getting together, thus erasing her entire existence.  Did I mention it was like 'Back to the Future?' I think I did.  The film also isn't ashamed to admit that it's effectively using the same template, but adding a 'slasher' element to the story.

So, what you're left with is a 'meta' slasher film where the protagonist has all the knowledge of thirty years ahead of where she finds herself, combined with knowing how these types of films normally play out.  Therefore a lot of the gags come in the form of the juxtaposition of the eighties vs present day and real life vs how people act in horror films.

Out of all the run-of-the-mill horror films you'll find on streaming services this one is that rare type where you might actually remember something about it after the credits have rolled.  Like I say, it isn't perfect, but it's as enjoyable as you'll let it be.  If you recall how the eighties were (like me - I'm old) and you know all the conventions of a slasher film then you'll definitely get more out of it than most.

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that

Boss Level (2020) - So much fun

I'm about to get rid of my Amazon Prime account, so I decided I better watch some of the films that have been languishing on my watchlist for some time.  I'm so glad I watched this one before I lose access.

Yes, it's another take on the tried and tested 'Groundhog Day' formula, so if you have a problem with other movies that copy the 'repeated day' style of film-making, then you might not enjoy this.  However, I've never had a problem with them and I definitely love some old 'nineties style' over-the-top action.

In fact, while we're on the subject of the nineties, if you believe what's written about this film online you'll see that the script has been kicking around Hollywood since the nineties and it's only just made its way onto the screen.  I can actually see that being true as it's so over-the-top in its action that it's right up there with similar classics of the genre, like 'Con Air, Speed' and 'The Rock.'

Here, a special forces agent repeatedly wakes up on the same day where he finds a whole army of assassins trying - and succeeding - to kill him.  He's murdered - in variously grisly ways - again and again and has to go on reliving the day until he can figure out what's going on - and obviously find a way of not just reversing this bizarre situation, but also rekindling his relationship with his estranged girlfriend and son.

Yeah, you'll probably see a lot of what coming, coming - if you know what I mean.  I'm not sure how many times I can use the phrase 'over-the-top' in this review, but it's what really should be rubberstamped on this one.  Have you seen any of those old Jason Statham films like 'The Transporter' or 'Crank?' Well 'Boss Level' is kind of set in that universe, if that's any help.

Don't expect a masterpiece, just enjoy having fun.

8/10 The Force is definitely strong with this one

Dug up (2013) - Why bother?

I know this film was made in 2013 and 'Shaun of the Dead' was in 2004, but either way, both movies were released during the 'renaissance' of the zombie era.  The difference is that 'Shaun of the Dead' was one of the first flicks (of the time) to mix zombie-horror and comedy and it was funny, endearing and well-written.  Jump forward nearly a decade and 'Dug Up' in also a comedy-horror film set during an undead uprising.  And it's not that bad.  It's just not that good, either.

If we say - speaking generally - that 2002's 'Resident Evil' (movie) started the modern obsession with zombies, then now - over twenty years later - we've seen almost every different type of take on the subject matter.  If you want a 'straight' zombie-horror, then you have everything from Romero's films, to 'The Walking Dead' TV series, or '28 Days Later.' Whereas, if you're looking for something similar, but more light-hearted then you'd - most likely - choose 'Shaun of the Dead.' And, let's pretend that 'Shaun' didn't exist and you asked me - now, in 2024 - to name my 'Top 20 zombie comedy films' I could probably do that and give you a load of movies you probably haven't heard of, but all have laughs at the expense of some shuffling ghouls.

And that's where the problem lies.  Even if I had to list twenty zombie-comedies, 'Dug Up' still wouldn't be included.  You'll notice I'm not really telling you much about the plot.  That's because there isn't one.  It's merely one of many similar films which tries to be funny and original, but just can't really offer anything that you haven't seen before.

There's some brief nudity in the opening act, if that's any incentive for you to watch it.  But I found it on a streaming service and happened to pause it to go to the kitchen.  I figured it must be about halfway (forty-five minutes) through and was amazed when I saw I was only twenty minutes in.

Like I say, it's not terrible.  If you really want to watch about 'Number Thirty' in the top hundred list of best zombie-comedy films then this is it.  Otherwise, simply stick to 'Shaun' - chances are you already own a copy in your DVD collection.

5/10 a hard trek, a bit like unicycling to Mordor and back

The Furies (2019) - Those dastardly ol' men

Men, don't you just hate them?  All they do all day is kidnap helpless women then hunt them for sport and brutally murder them.  Well... it seems on whatever planet 'The Furies' is set they do.  And, judging by the accents of the poor helpless females, constantly on the run from the variety of masked axe-wielding psychopaths, the 'planet' is called 'Australia' (even though I spent several months backpacking there about twenty years ago and never killed anyone while I was there - guess it must have changed a lot since 2002).

You could probably say that this film really doesn't like men much and portrays them in a negative light.  Then came 2023's 'Barbie: The Movie,' which took that to a whole new level, so no matter how badly men men come across in 'The Furies,' they're still head and shoulders over a 'Ken' or two.

I could continue to stay on my soap box, banging on about how much the film bashed men and portrayed them in a negative light.  Or I could just shut up and enjoy the film.  I chose the latter.  All political messages aside - no matter how 'in your face' they may be - it's just a cheesy horror film and you can turn it off any time you like.  I didn't.  Because it was actually quite good fun.

When I sit down to a horror film I don't ask for much.  I know I'm probably not going to get deep character arcs and amazing performances, but I do want to be entertained.  And this entertained me.  It's got some nice practical gore which is pretty nasty.  I know that a lot of people have likened this movie to things like 'The Hunger Games' and other stories which centre around hunting innocent people for 'sport.' Yeah, there's nothing that original in the premise, but it's nicely done here and there are a few nice little touches here which give it the odd unique quality.  Plus the central character is likable.  She's not drastically overpowered for no reason and fights off hordes of men much bigger than her.  She really does have to fight for the right if she's going to achieve the 'honour' of being the 'final girl.'

Overall, it's a fun little horror film.  Maybe it's got a few 'right on' messages which you can either take to heart, or just let ride over you and enjoy a well-crafted little horror film.

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that

Howl (2015) - Who says B-movies are dead?

As the title - semi - suggests, 2015's 'Howl' is about werewolves - not always the easiest of monsters to fit into a horror film, simply because they normally take more special effects/money to make believable and - perhaps more importantly - scary.  However, it's nice to see a low budget movie do the best with its limited budget and actually pull off something quite special - at least in terms of B-movies.

'Howl' may not have the action and 'gung-ho-ness' of 'Dog Soldiers' (my personal favourite werewolf movie!), but it still works.  Late one night, a train travelling out of London, gets stuck in the countryside and, as well as the buffet car being closed, it just so happens that a pack of werewolves are outside due to the full moon.

So, what you're left with is a tale with a - reasonably generic - plot, i.e. survivors making a stand in a one location (in this case, a stranded commuter train).  At this point it could just fall into that oh so forgettable category of so many similar films.  But here the writing is good enough to elevate it above so many others.  The first major plus point is that the characters aren't complete stereotypes.  Yes, they may be a little one-dimensional, but when compared to other 'monster-fodder' in such films, they're actually a lot more 'fleshed-out' than many such characters in monster movies.  Even the obligatory 'bad guy' among the group is memorable and you'll be waiting for him to finally get what's coming to him.

Then there are the creatures themselves.  Maybe for budget reasons, the film-makers have leant more into 'lycanthropy' being more a mutation to regular humans, rather than transforming them into fully-fledged monsters.  Therefore, the film doesn't rely on cheesy computer-generated effects which take you out of the story.

Like I say, 'Howl' may not be - quite - as much fun as 'Dog Soldiers' (which really did raise the bar in terms of werewolf movies), but it's definitely a fun film if you like the genre and well worth a watch.

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that

Freeze (2022) - I seemed to like it more than most

Found this low budget horror film on a streaming service and decided to watch it.  And I'm glad I did.  It was only now I've come to review it did I find how much of the minority I seem to be.  I'm guessing it's set about 100-150 years ago when a sail-ship takes an expedition to the North Pole in order to find a previous lost vessel.  Naturally, they find something pretty nasty waiting to take a bite out of them in the frozen wastelands.

As I say, it's low budget.  Don't expect any amazing set pieces, but what I enjoyed was the cast.  They were older than your average cast of a modern horror film.  Most cases have actors barely out of their late teens cast in roles which should really go to middle aged people.  Here, I actually believed that the men on the crew were hardened sailors - especially the captain himself, who I was really rooting for.

Now, don't think that I'm saying that everything is perfect here.  The monsters are nice - for the budget, but they're basically men in costumes and the lack of movement was really visible when the creatures had to attack humans.  Because the monsters' mouths obviously weren't designed to move and be seen to take bites out of people, they just sort of rub their hideous, slimy faces against the people.  It was actually quite comical, unfortunately.

Plus there's a woman on board.  Yes, the 'in story' explanation is that she's a stowaway, but her character seems really out of place, like she's had Ripley's ('Alien' franchise) personality imprinted on her.  She even tapes two guns together in a weird throwback to that classic scene from 'Aliens.' It's very out of place.

Then you have the human antagonist of the film, who chews up every piece of scenery even harder than any beastie could.  He's more evil than a thousand Dr Evils and he shows it.

Yet, I watched it right until the end.  I actually enjoyed it.  It had its flaws, but the casting and story was different enough to keep me entertained.  Although, perhaps its strongest 'selling point' (for me!) was that it was set a long time in the past and this is the first new horror film I've seen in a while where the teens don't have to point out that their cell phones don't have any reception.

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that