Puppet Master vs Demonic Toys (2004) - Hey, it could be worse!

I used to really enjoy the 'Puppet Master' films in the early nineties.  They were about a gang of six horrific toys which came alive and basically killed people.  They were hardly high-brow and I haven't seen any of them in a while, so I can't really say how this entry enters the continuity (or if it even does!).  We meet an eccentric, but very familiar-looking father with his daughter (who just so happens is capable of hacking into secure companies' online files - and therefore should have a strong future ahead of herself in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, as they all seem to do that sort of thing there with the greatest of ease.

The two of them repair toys and are the descendants of the man who made the evil toys.  Naturally, they bring them to life, but this time the murderous puppets are actually more well behaved.

Meanwhile, we have one of the most cliched 'bitch bosses' you'll ever see on camera and her bored-looking henchman.  They have plans to kidnap the puppets and sacrifice virgins in order to bring about the age of a demon who looks like a Buffy reject.

I remember when I watched 'Batman vs Superman' - I was hoping for batarangs and lazer-eye-blasts being thrown at each other all the way through, but all I got was a - reasonable - battle between the two titular characters right at the end.  That's basically the same here.  The puppets (and the demonic toys!) are clearly the stars and it's nice to see practical anamatronics over computer-generated antagonists, but they don't actually face off until the final act - granted it's still fun.  

If you can ignore the kind of goofy plot where the bad guy wants to destroy children's Christmases by bringing their toys to life and making them evil, at least the film never really tries to be serious.  And, because of that I can forgive it its many failings, like the wobbly, bland sets and overacting.  If you liked the original, be forgiving and give this a go.  And I've only just found out that that's Corey Feldman in the lead - wow, how time's change!

6/10 Should probably keep you awake if Freddy Krueger was haunting your nights

Hidden (2015) - One of the slowest of burners

The premise of 'Hidden' could well be a stage play for the most part.  It's about a family - Mum, Dad and young daughter - who are hiding in an underground survival bunker, while some sort of 'apocalyptic' event takes place above them.

It's a sound enough base to set a story on and it plays it well.  In other words we really get to know the three characters and their wants, fears and motivations.  And we continue to get to know them.  In fact, most of the film is getting to know them.  At about the halfway mark we get a few flashbacks to before whatever happened happened.  But we still don't know what actually happened.

The three of them often talk of the 'breathers' - clearly a reference to whoever or whatever roams the world above them and how they must never come into contact with them.  I know the film-makers are trying to keep things mysterious by never really revealing who or what these 'breathers' are, but, after a while, it just kind of got annoying.  I wanted to know the threat level the human survivors were facing so I could better understand what they could and couldn't do.  For example, if slow moving zombies were above them, you could probably run past them if you were careful.  Whereas if it was vampires who could turn into bats and fly after you then you needed to be a lot more careful and so on.

It was only in the last fifteen minutes or so that you actually understand where everyone truly stands.  And it is a good 'final act.' However, you need to be warned that this is no wall-to-wall thrill ride.  It's a long, drawn out slow burner of a film which will make you wait and wonder for a pretty short and sweet pay-off.

6/10 Should probably keep you awake if Freddy Krueger was haunting your nights

Necrosis (2009) - One word... competent

The whole 'cabin in the woods' trope has been a sub-genre of horror for quite some time.  Granted, here in 'Necrosis' it's a cabin in the snowy mountains, but the principal is just the same.  A group of friends go to stay in a remote location and fall foul to some sort of supernatural force.

This time we have three couples who stay in the mountains, who obviously ignore the cliched old man who warns them not to stay there.  Two of which are single, so guess who will be coupling up?  One of the actresses can't really act in the beginning, but she does get a bit better as the movie goes on.  The dialogue between the cast isn't badly written, but it doesn't really save it as it never really gets going and many scenes could be easily cut.

There's brief nudity if that's any incentive, but there's no real gore or creature effects to talk about.  I paused it what I thought was roughly half way through.  Turned out I was forty-five minutes into its hour and fifteen minutes runtime.  Basically, not much had happened yet - bar a couple of jump scares.  That should tell you everything you need to know about the film.  It's not the worst I've ever sat through, but it will hardly be remembered among the heaps of other similar offerings.  

4/10 You can watch this film while you're doing the ironing (you'll still get the general gist of it)

Follow Me (2020) - Well... I didn't mind it!

I say it right away - I quite enjoyed this movie.  No, it was no masterpiece, but it was nicely entertaining for an hour and a half - and that was all I was looking for when I put on the horror movie I found on a streaming service.  Then, when I came to reviewing it, I found that it looked like most people seemed to hate it.  Guess I'm in the minority here then.

It's about a YouTuber - only he YouTubes on a fictional website which is basically a cross between YouTube and Instagram - who has attained reasonable fame on the platform and has been dared by his millions of 'followers' to do the ultimate scary activity.  His 'crew' therefore scour the internet and find an 'escape room' in Moscow for him to try out.

What follows is a bit of a mish-mash of various sub-horror genres.  There's a bit of torture-p0rn in there, plus a survival movie with a healthy dose of slasher thrown in there for good measure.  I guess it is a bit all over the place in terms of tone, but it didn't really bother me.

The major plus - in my opinion - was the main character.  I thought it would be very easy to make him a completely unlikable idiot who is shallow as a puddle and we'd never identify with, let alone root for.  But I found him quite balanced.  Yes, he enjoyed the fame, but was also quite normal when he needed to be.

I don't know how well this film will age as it's definitely a product of its time, what with it basing its whole premise on today's obsession with becoming either a YouTuber, or 'influencer' or both.  Hopefully, our culture will grow out of this fad and this film will remain a time capsule of 2020.

If there was one thing that bothered me it was the ending.  There were only so many ways this film could go once it was underway and I predicted what would happen. Plus there were a few scenes that, once you dissect the film after you've watched it, will make you wonder what would have happened if certain events didn't unfold the way they were supposed to.  Either way, I enjoyed the ride, but feel free to check out all those reviews talking about 'unlikeable characters' and how it's an 'awful film' before you decide to invest your time into it.

6/10 Should probably keep you awake if Freddy Krueger was haunting your nights

Emelie (2015) - Enjoyably tense

I didn't know what to expect when I sat down to watch this psychological thriller/horror.  The description had the word 'babysitter' in the text - a word that seems to have developed a whole 'sub-genre' of its own.  Sometimes the babysitter is the bad guy, other times she's being stalked by devil-worshiping serial killers (or just the kids themselves turn out to be evil!).

I'm not sure how much I'll say about the plot in case you don't know which way it's going to go.  All I will say is that it was both enjoyable and very tense.  All actors play their parts well.  Obviously, Sarah Bolger (the titular sitter) has to hold the film up - and she does.  She's excellent all the way through.  However, sometimes when a movie has to rely on child actors, sometimes it does tend to fail.  Luckily, the oldest child of the three (who gets the bulk of the screentime) is good at what he does.

As with any thriller which contains 'life or death' situations, it's always easy for us - from the comfort of our sofas - to say what we'd do in their situation.  So there might be a few parts here and there where we may have to suspend our disbelief in order for the story to continue in its intended dramatic fashion.  Although, here I will point out that many of the decisions featured in this film are made by a child under stress, so perhaps you can give them added 'forgiveness points' when they do something that we wouldn't.

Overall, 'Emelie' isn't anything that new, but it is a good little thriller and in a world filled with streaming services which contain so many movies that you shouldn't waste your time on, if you can find this and are in the mood for some very dark takes on the subject matter of children, then this one is definitely worth your time.

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that

When the Lights Went Out (2012) - Good film (nothing new though)

Okay, take Poltergeist and The Exorcist then move them to seventies Yorkshire and you basically have When the Lights Went Out. It's supposedly based on a true story (but aren't they always?) about a family who encounter a particularly nasty spook in their house.

This is a film where I can find many positives and only one negative. The good things are the setting (if you ignore the occasional Sky Digital dish in the background). They do a good job of portraying seventies England. The actors are also all believable. The film centres quite a bit on two young girls. Kids in films (and especially horror films) tend to be either highly annoying, or just totally unlikeable. However, I found these two girls quite endearing and hopefully they will have a long acting career ahead of them. Also, it's quite creepy. The scares are sometimes predictable, but they're there nonetheless.

About the only thing that's negative is that - as far as story-telling goes - is that there's nothing new here. Hollywood has been churning out these sorts of films for years and all you have here is a British (period) version of one of those types.

If you're in the mood for an easy-going British horror flick, definitely give this one a go. Just don't expect anything revolutionary.

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that

Hellboy (2019) - Hard to say what's went wrong

Did I enjoy the 2019 version of 'Hellboy?' Er, I guess the answer is, 'It was okay.' It had all the things I looked for in a film (I don't have high standards!) and ticked all the right boxes.  In that way, I can say it at least entertained me for an hour and a half.  However, I already own the first two 'Hellboy' films on DVD and the main thing I came away with was wondering why I didn't just put one of them on?

If you don't know, 'Hellboy' is a comic book adaptation of a lesser-known superhero (or maybe 'anti-hero' may be a better description) where a demon is summoned into our world by those wishing to use it to conquer the world, however the forces of good stopped them and brought the child up to be a force for good - albeit a large, red, grumpy demonic-looking one.

This film's main problem is that it's just kind of pointless really.  Yes, it brings a few things into the mix that are slightly different (like the origin is slightly changed if you compare the two versions), but it's not enough to warrant a remake, especially when the original was so fresh in people's minds.

Now, I should point out that the original two 'Hellboy' films were not as profitable as the studio behind them would have liked, but they did have a very dedicated fanbase - a fanbase which objected to the movie that they liked being remade so soon after it had originally been conceived.

So, without the primary audience backing this version and not really having the mass market appeal like a superhero like Batman or Spiderman would, this incarnation was destined to fail - no matter how good or bad it is.

I liked it, but I can't say it will leave any lasting impression on me like the first two did.  I would have preferred a third instalment into the original saga than this, plus the effects were less practical make-up and creative and more just computer-generated fight scenes which were blatantly so.  If you're bored and fancy a supernatural action movie then this is fine.  If you're really looking to get into 'Hellboy' on screen then the first two films are the way to go.

6/10 Should probably keep you awake if Freddy Krueger was haunting your nights