Genesis II (1973) - A fun sci-fi romp from yesteryear

'Genesis II' is a 1973 TV movie and it shows.  Every set and scene could well be an extended episode of the original 'Star Trek' series, just removing the familiar cast.  This is hardly surprising, given that it was written by 'Star Trek' creator Gene Roddenberry.  Its tone, themes, and aesthetic make it easy to imagine this as a lost story from the 'Star Trek' universe, albeit one focused on Earth’s future rather than the final frontier.  

The film follows a familiar science fiction trope: Dylan Hunt, a scientist, is cryogenically frozen in the 20th century and wakes up in a distant future. This setup could have easily been generic, but 'Genesis II' delivers enough twists and turns to keep the audience engaged.  As the protagonist navigates this unfamiliar world and its various warring factions, the story delivers a few unexpected surprises that make the journey worthwhile.  

While its TV movie budget is evident in the somewhat dated effects and modest production design, the writing is actually quite fun.  Roddenberry's knack for weaving social commentary into his sci-fi is present here, exploring themes of progress, control, and human nature. The performances are solid, though they lack the charisma of the 'Star Trek' ensemble, plus the pacing sometimes feels a bit sluggish at times.  

Ultimately, 'Genesis II' is an intriguing 'what-if' scenario for fans of Roddenberry's work. While it doesn’t fully escape the limitations of being a TV movie, its twists make it worth a watch for science fiction enthusiasts. 

7/10

The Hitcher (1986) - Good fun, if you don't mind the flaws

'The Hitcher' is certainly a tense and gripping ride through the across the desolate highways of middle America and if you're looking for a standout performance then Rutger Hauer steals the show.  He's the complete nut-job who you really don't want to offer a lift to if you see him at the side of the road.  While the counterpoint is out unlucky hero, played by C. Thomas Howell, who also holds his own as the young protagonist caught in an escalating nightmare.  

The film thrives on its cat-and-mouse dynamic, which will definitely give you moments of high tension and edge-of-your-seat thrills.  Of course, being made in the eighties, you get practical effects which add some much-needed realism to the action which grounds the atmosphere in a gritty, real-world feel that suits the film's tone.  

However, the pacing does falter in places, with certain stretches feeling overly drawn out.  Also, the story  does tend to hinge sometimes on coincidences that may strain credibility for some viewers.  But, despite these flaws, 'The Hitcher' is a worthwhile 'bare-bones' thriller which makes for a darkly entertaining journey.  Fans of psychological thrillers and intense simple chase stories should find it is worth watching allowing its atmosphere and performances make up for its occasional lapses in logic and pacing. 

7/10

Strays (1991) - I taught a taw a bunch of puddytats

On paper, the premise of 'Strays' (a pack of killer cats terrorizing a family in their country home) sounds utterly absurd.  Yet, against all odds, weirdly the film manages to be surprisingly watchable.  The overall product is far from polished and the 'killer' moggies spend much of their screen time looking more confused than menacing.  Occasionally, animatronic stand-ins awkwardly fill in for their scarier scenes. 

The special effects are campy at best, but that adds to the charm in a 'so-bad-it’s-good' sort of way.  Despite the silliness, there’s something oddly engaging about 'Strays.' The family drama plays out earnestly enough like something out of a daytime soap, but there isn't too much so it just about manages to keep the viewer invested while the escalating absurdity of the feline menace makes sure it never becomes dull. 

It’s the kind of film you can’t help but chuckle at while still enjoying at the same time, even though the film-makers only seem to have one sound effect for the cats which is used.  And used.  And used...

6/10

Bride of Re-Animator (1990) - Good gory fun

'Bride of Re-Animator' is a direct sequel to the cult classic and it carries on the madcap mayhem and twisted humor of its predecessor.  However, newcomers might find themselves lost in its bizarre plot unless they’ve seen the original film, as much of the story and character motivations hinge on you knowing what went on in the first movie.  

But, don't worry, the plot isn't that hard to follow - mad scientist wants to bring dead bodies back to life.  That's all you really need to know, so for fans of cheesy, over-the-top gore, will get what they came for. The practical effects are gloriously grotesque and gleefully absurd, giving the film a strong campy appeal. 

Highlights include crazy creations, accompanied by moments of dark humor that keep the tone appropriately tongue-in-cheek.  Many of these moments come from Jeffrey Combs who, once again, shines as Dr. Herbert West. His performance is the anchor of the film and he does tend to steal every scene he’s in.  

Although the film is entertaining, it lacks a tight narrative and the sharp wit of its predecessor. The pacing drags in parts and some characters feel underdeveloped. Still, it’s a fun watch for those who enjoy campy horror and practical gore effects. 

6/10

The Toxic Avenger Part II (1989) - When it's good, it's excellent

'The Toxic Avenger Part II' is a gloriously wild ride, packed with deliberately over-the-top gore, inventive practical effects and a wicked sense of humor. It’s the kind of film that thrives on its excess making sure it never displays any hint of good taste to deliver an outrageous experience. As long as you’re not easily offended and are in the mood for something ridiculous, you’re in for a great time.  

The film’s biggest strength lies in its over-the-top set pieces and sharp, absurd dialogue, which make for some genuinely hilarious moments. However, at a bloated two-hour runtime, it’s hard to ignore how some scenes overstay their welcome. A leaner edit would have enhanced the pacing, ensuring the best parts shone even brighter.  Despite this drawback, 'The Toxic Avenger Part II' remains a cult classic for a reason. If you’re into the unapologetically outrageous gross-out horror fests, this sequel delivers exactly what you’d hope for.  Although I can't see our mutated hero ever fitting in with Thor and Captain America's 'Avengers' line-up!

7/10

Fright Night (1985) - Maybe I just didn't get it?

Having just finished watching 1985's 'Fright Night' for the third time, I find myself already to struggling to recall much of what happened in it.  I know most people who love both the horror/vampire genre and also 80s horror films in general hold it up as an iconic classic, but I just don't see it.

The whole story of a boy trying to prove his next door neighbour is a vampire feels too slow to sustain its premise.  That said, credit where it's due: the practical effects are a standout. The film's creature designs, transformation sequences and slime-filled monsters showcase the pinnacle of 80s horror.  These visuals remain genuinely impressive and add a touch of magic to an otherwise shallow character ensemble.  

All the cast all seem to try and 'ham it up' and yet the dialogue isn't really that funny or well-written.  While I do see why many hold it close, 'Fright Night' ultimately doesn’t sink its fangs deep enough to earn my full devotion. Still, its artistry ensures it’ll remain a conversation piece for horror fans everywhere.  Or maybe just watch it to see - what could be - the oldest-looking sixteen year old ever (the main character's best friend!) - he looks like a mutated Kevin Bacon's grandfather.

5/10

Time Walker (1982) - Could have been at least fun

'Time Walker' has a decent enough premise: an ancient mummy found in a university dig turns out to be more than it seems - so that's a good enough start for what is effectively a 'slasher' movie.  However, the whole film kind of falls short when it leans into being a ‘slasher’ rather than capitalizing on its sci-fi and supernatural elements.  

The biggest problem is the fact that the titular mummy barely gets screen time in the first two acts, reducing its menace and leaving the audience waiting too long for the promised thrills.  Meanwhile, the university students who serve as the mummy's victims range from bland to outright obnoxious. Some are so unlikeable that you might find yourself rooting for the mummy. 

Many of the characters are so poorly defined and similar in appearance that it’s hard to keep track of who’s who and the special effects are virtually nonexistent, offering nothing memorable or even passable for a horror movie of its era. 

At least the story  picks up toward the end, but it's a case of 'too little too late' and, although there’s a certain charm in the final twist, the ending is likely to frustrate viewers.  Without spoiling too much, the conclusion is effectively a cliffhanger/sequel bait.  

In the end 'Time Walker' could have a been at least fun, but is played way too straight with its blend of mummy lore, sci-fi, and slasher tropes.

4/10

Alien: Romulus (2024) - Not bad, for a 'midquel'

Right off the bat, 'Alien Romulus' isn't as good as the two previous entries in the series, but probably alongside the third and forth one (we'll just ignore the 'vs Predator' and 'Prometheus' movies). 'Romulus' wears its reverence for its predecessors on its sleeve with its oppressive, industrial set design to the dim, flickering lighting.  At least this goes a long way to make the film looks and feel like it was made alongside the original. 

The art direction and practical effects are pretty good and these 'plus points' go some way to obscure its narrative shortcomings. There's plenty of fan service and they do help to make up for just how bland most of the characters were (the only real stand-out is the android who's by far the most interesting of the - way too young - spaceship's crew).  However, as the story goes on, moments that echo 'Alien' and 'Aliens' come frequently—too frequently. The film risks leaning so heavily on its predecessors that it struggles to carve out its own identity. 

At least it is watchable, delivering enough tension, gore, and xenomorphic mayhem to satisfy fans.  Where the film falters most is in its plot.  At first glance, the story seems serviceable, but the cracks start to show if you think too hard about its finer details.  The lead actress will never come close to Sigourney Weaver's iconic portrayal of Ripley and general character motivations rely on leaps of logic that strain believability. 

Perhaps the worst part was the last fifteen minutes which are so drawn-out and redundant that they threaten to undo some of the goodwill the rest of the film earns. It’s not a total disaster, but it feels more like an extended epilogue than a satisfying conclusion.  Despite its flaws, 'Alien Romulus' is a worthy addition to the franchise for those willing to embrace it on its own terms. It may not match the brilliance of the original or its immediate sequel, but its nostalgic feel and overall tension make it an enjoyable, if imperfect, homage. Just don’t go in expecting airtight storytelling, and you’ll likely come out entertained.

7/10

The Glitterball (1977) - Nostalgic fun

You'll have to excuse the bias that I clearly exhibit when watching 1977's 'The Glitterball' - a film about an alien, er, ball, that comes to Earth and meets some local British kids.  Who needs E.T. eh?  I watched it so much as a kid that I practically know the script word for word.  I can't help but still feel that it's a charming slice of seventies British family entertainment, blending sci-fi with a dose of childhood adventure. 

It's so family friendly all the way and offers an innocent, nostalgia-soaked trip back to an era when storytelling for younger audiences prioritized heart and imagination over massive action set-pieces and alien sky-beams destroying New York.  The two young protagonists do their best to protect our spherical extraterrestrial from the usual suspects: bumbling crooks and skeptical adults. 

It’s a classic setup, but its simplicity works in the film’s favour, allowing its quirky humor and likable characters to shine. The Glitterball itself is the star of the show - even though it's merely a glowing orb with an endearing personality that communicates through lights and an appetite for earthly delights—particularly human food.  

The special effects, especially for the alien ball, hold up surprisingly well. While it’s not on the level of 'Star Wars' (released the same year, believe it or not!), the practical effects used to depict the Glitterball’s movement and interactions are inventive. Watching it devour biscuits and other snacks is both amusing and oddly mesmerizing, adding a playful charm to the film.  

I know I'm biased, but I still think most people will find 'The Glitterball' is good, wholesome fun (and who can't help but root for a plucky sentient snooker ball against a bad guy called 'Filthy Potter?')

7/10

Kronos - The 'Independence Day' of the fifties

Having been a regular cinema goer in the nineties, I was 'treated' to the delights of such cinema epics like 'Independence Day.' I guess that in 1957 'Kronos' must have been a showstopper and been the 'ultimate' alien invasion film of its day.  It was directed by Kurt Neumann and follows a team of scientists as they try and thwart an alien energy machine which is intent on draining Earth’s resources. 

What sets 'Kronos' apart is its towering titular antagonist which is a giant, metallic, pulsating machine that's menacing without having to resort to the modern day trope of a 'sky-beam' attacking a city. Watching it now, it’s impossible not to admire the ambitious special effects which were totally 'CGI-free' which bring Kronos to life. Okay, so the acting is what you'd expect from the fifties and packed with mid-century science-speak, making the performances kind of kitch by today's standards.

If you're thinking of watching it today then you need to appreciate the nostalgic sweet spot in cinema history that gave birth to it. It’s a reminder of a time when science fiction was a playground for big ideas, even if the budget couldn’t quite match the ambition. It’s not a flawless film, but its vintage charm and cultural significance make it worth revisiting for anyone who appreciates old-school sci-fi.  I'm kind of used to films having 'environmental messages' woven into them today, but I was surprised to see that kind of theme all the way back in the fifties.

6/10

Maneater (2022) - Nothing new, but not bad

The killer shark genre is nothing new - especially as the 'grand-daddy' of the genre ('Jaws') was released all the way back in the seventies.  Yet 'Maneater' manages to just about keep things interesting with its straightforward thrills. Sure, the premise of a man-eating shark terrorizing a group of beachgoers is nothing groundbreaking, yet there’s a certain charm in the simplicity of its execution. 

This definitely isn't the next 'Jaws,' but if you're looking for an easy, no-frills thriller to stream then 'Maneater' is surprisingly watchable.  What sets this film apart from the many shark movies that came before is the presence of Trace Adkins. Playing an older, grizzled local with a vendetta against the shark, Adkins brings a welcome touch of maturity and gravitas to a cast that otherwise feels like classic "monster-fodder." His character gives the film a bit more weight, and his screen presence stands out against the younger, thrill-seeking crew.  Although props to the younger lead actress who I'd never seen before, but kind of looked like Cameron Diaz from some angles.

Of course, no matter how good the cast is (and how many excuses they seem to make to go into the dangerous water!) it's the shark that everyone has come to see.  And, for a B-movie, the monster is in it a fair amount.  And, maybe it was because I happened to be watching this film on my phone while at the gym, but the creature looked quite passable in terms of special effects.

In the end 'Maneater' might not be a cinematic masterpiece, but never really tries to be anything more than a fun, occasionally tense thriller that does just enough to keep you watching. If you’re a fan of the genre or simply looking for something easy to stream, this one’s worth a bite.

6/10

The Bell Keeper (2023) - Actually not that bad

There are so many low budget horror films on streaming serviced these days, I don't bother reviewing the majority of them because I can't actually be bothered to watch them all the way through.  At first glance, 'The Bell Keeper' seemed like it may be just another one of those that I turned off after about half an hour.

It opens with the typical horror setup: a group of friends (one of which always struck me of a young-ish Edward Furlong - if you know your 'Terminator 2' cast!) stumbles upon a dark legend, strange happenings ensue, and we’re thrust into a familiar formula of haunted woods at night. The start is serviceable, with just enough suspense to keep you watching, though you may feel you've seen it all before.  But surprisingly, midway through, 'The Bell Keeper' throws in a bit of a curve ball - I thought it was going one way when it actually goes another. 

Instead of trudging through predictable tropes, it veers into (slightly!) fresher territory, offering an unexpectedly engaging take that may just keep you invested. This change in direction at least does a little more to make the movie stand out from the sea of horror films that struggle to maintain any originality. The film balances a new twist on its mythos with solid character moments, ultimately creating an atmosphere that is intriguing enough to finish.  It may not be groundbreaking or a must-see, but it's refreshingly watchable — especially in a genre overflowing with unwatchable entries. If you’re in the mood for a horror movie that tries something different, even if it doesn’t always succeed, 'The Bell Keeper' is worth a watch (and, is it just me, or were the film-makers hoping this would become some sort of franchise?).

6/10

Viral (2016) - Tip: Just watch the final act

'Viral' is a 2016 horror-thriller that, despite not technically being a zombie film, adheres closely to the genre’s familiar tropes.  Instead of the undead we have the more ('28 Days Later' style) 'infected' who can run and chase down our helpless human teens.  This time it's a worm-like parasitic outbreak which can take over the host and make them basically behave like a zombie.

The story follows two sisters trying to survive in their small suburban town which is slowly succumbing to the infection. The movie ticks off all the standard elements: quarantine zones, escalating paranoia, infected friends and neighbours and, finally, the gradual breakdown of society.  The biggest drawback, however, is that 'Viral' takes its time getting going when it comes to the action. The first two-thirds are light on tension, with sparse sightings of the infected.  This keeps the horror at bay but also slows down the pacing. Instead of ramping up the dread, it feels like the movie is treading water, making it hard to stay invested in the film (yes, I wanted to check my social media on my phone many a time during the first hour!).

The final act does pick things up, bringing in more action, confrontation and a few decent enough scenes of horror.  But. by then, it feels like a case of too little, too late.  Although 'Viral' does have its moments and is reasonably well-shot, the slow build-up dampens the impact of what could have been a more gripping story. 

5/10

Triggered (2020) - The title made me laugh

'Triggered' is quite a nice idea for a film, or at least it would be if the 'Saw' franchise had never existed.  A group of friends wake up in the woods with timed explosives strapped to their chests, each device linked to the wearer’s remaining life span.  The man responsible tells them that only one can survive, before he promptly removes himself from the 'game.' 

If you’re in the mood for a lesser version of one of the 'Saw' films—complete with twisted rules and the fight-for-survival tension—you might find that 'Triggered' scratches that itch.  Unfortunately, while 'Triggered' has a nice title which makes me smile whenever I think of how it relates to the story, overall the way it plays out is not really that spectacular. 

There's not a lot of creativity when it comes to 'eliminating' each character and therefore also to keep the audience guessing. The deaths themselves are surprisingly uninspired, and once the basic setup is clear, the plot offers little more than watching each character run through their doomed fate. As a result, it can feel one-note, leaving the title itself as possibly the cleverest element of the whole movie.  

In the end, 'Triggered' doesn’t quite reach the heights of even the weakest 'Saw' entry, nor does it offer enough fresh twists to stand out in the survival horror genre. For fans in need of a quick, albeit shallow, fix of deadly thrills, it might be a passable watch.

5/10

Dark Star (1974) - Dry, dark and the template for so much to come

Despite being a massive fan of John Carpenter's work, it's somehow taken me until 2024 to get round to watching his sci-fi/horror-comedy 'Dark Star.' I'd heard it was good, but didn't really know what to expect.  First of all I should mention that it's very low-budget, but you'll soon appreciate that that becomes part of its charm and its gained a cult following for such reasons. 

Directed and scored by John Carpenter and co-written by Dan ('Alien!') O’Bannon, 'Dark Star' mixes absurdist humor (talking bombs and inflatable monsters), tension, and genuine dread. It’s like a quirky prototype for future sci-fi and horror films that would become iconic in their own right. It has plenty of isolation, malfunctioning technology and dread aboard a spaceship that's on a mission to destroy unstable planets.  Now I've seen it I can see where movies like 'Alien' and TV shows like 'Red Dwarf' got their inspiration.  

But what makes 'Dark Star' shine is its unpredictable humor (did I mention the talking bombs?) and unique tone. The crew are even more lethargic and eccentric after years of monotony in deep space than the boys from 'Red Dwarf' and are hilariously deadpan as they confront increasingly bizarre and dangerous situations. The film's general creative strangeness (probably at least partially due to the film-makers having to make the most of their low budget) that makes this film memorable.  For fans of sci-fi, it’s fascinating to see how this small film set the stage for later classics, building tropes that filmmakers would pay homage to.  It's a little rough around the edges, but if you like your humour dark, quirky and dead-pan, plus you're a fan of sci-fi or horror (or just John Carpenter's work) 'Dark Star' is an incredibly imaginative and darkly funny ride.

8/10

Nobody (2021) - Sooo much fun

Sometimes there are films which don't really reinvent the wheel, but take a pretty tried and tested premise and put just enough spin on it to make it different enough to watch.  Well... although 'Nobody' adheres to taking the well-worn 'revenge' plot and injects it with such fun that I can't believe that anyone who enjoys the genre won't appreciate it.

If I had to sum it up, I'd say take 'John Wick' and cross it with 'Taken,' then wrap it in a 'Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul' bow and you have 'Nobody.' Bob Odenkirk beefs up from his most iconic role as 'Saul' from 'Breaking Bad' and 'Better Call Saul' and goes totally postal on some Russian gangsters once his family is threatened.

I'll say it again - the plot isn't anything you haven't seen a hundred times before, but when you have such great actors making every moment of the script work, then add some real bone-crunching action scenes and dark comedic moments, how can anyone possibly not love this?  Did I mention 'Doc Brown' himself (aka Christopher Lloyd) also wields a shotgun or two in this?

Also, it's worth noting that most movies these days never seem to know when to end, i.e. they go on too long. 'Nobody' weighs in at a tight ninety minutes and never wastes a second of screen time.  I guess the only negative thing I can think of is that it kind of got lost in the global nightmare than was the 'pandemic' a few years ago and never achieved the same levels of success that 'John Wick' and 'Taken' did, therefore it may not get the sequel it deserves.

9/10