The Toxic Avenger Part II (1989) - When it's good, it's excellent

'The Toxic Avenger Part II' is a gloriously wild ride, packed with deliberately over-the-top gore, inventive practical effects and a wicked sense of humor. It’s the kind of film that thrives on its excess making sure it never displays any hint of good taste to deliver an outrageous experience. As long as you’re not easily offended and are in the mood for something ridiculous, you’re in for a great time.  

The film’s biggest strength lies in its over-the-top set pieces and sharp, absurd dialogue, which make for some genuinely hilarious moments. However, at a bloated two-hour runtime, it’s hard to ignore how some scenes overstay their welcome. A leaner edit would have enhanced the pacing, ensuring the best parts shone even brighter.  Despite this drawback, 'The Toxic Avenger Part II' remains a cult classic for a reason. If you’re into the unapologetically outrageous gross-out horror fests, this sequel delivers exactly what you’d hope for.  Although I can't see our mutated hero ever fitting in with Thor and Captain America's 'Avengers' line-up!

7/10

Fright Night (1985) - Maybe I just didn't get it?

Having just finished watching 1985's 'Fright Night' for the third time, I find myself already to struggling to recall much of what happened in it.  I know most people who love both the horror/vampire genre and also 80s horror films in general hold it up as an iconic classic, but I just don't see it.

The whole story of a boy trying to prove his next door neighbour is a vampire feels too slow to sustain its premise.  That said, credit where it's due: the practical effects are a standout. The film's creature designs, transformation sequences and slime-filled monsters showcase the pinnacle of 80s horror.  These visuals remain genuinely impressive and add a touch of magic to an otherwise shallow character ensemble.  

All the cast all seem to try and 'ham it up' and yet the dialogue isn't really that funny or well-written.  While I do see why many hold it close, 'Fright Night' ultimately doesn’t sink its fangs deep enough to earn my full devotion. Still, its artistry ensures it’ll remain a conversation piece for horror fans everywhere.  Or maybe just watch it to see - what could be - the oldest-looking sixteen year old ever (the main character's best friend!) - he looks like a mutated Kevin Bacon's grandfather.

5/10

Time Walker (1982) - Could have been at least fun

'Time Walker' has a decent enough premise: an ancient mummy found in a university dig turns out to be more than it seems - so that's a good enough start for what is effectively a 'slasher' movie.  However, the whole film kind of falls short when it leans into being a ‘slasher’ rather than capitalizing on its sci-fi and supernatural elements.  

The biggest problem is the fact that the titular mummy barely gets screen time in the first two acts, reducing its menace and leaving the audience waiting too long for the promised thrills.  Meanwhile, the university students who serve as the mummy's victims range from bland to outright obnoxious. Some are so unlikeable that you might find yourself rooting for the mummy. 

Many of the characters are so poorly defined and similar in appearance that it’s hard to keep track of who’s who and the special effects are virtually nonexistent, offering nothing memorable or even passable for a horror movie of its era. 

At least the story  picks up toward the end, but it's a case of 'too little too late' and, although there’s a certain charm in the final twist, the ending is likely to frustrate viewers.  Without spoiling too much, the conclusion is effectively a cliffhanger/sequel bait.  

In the end 'Time Walker' could have a been at least fun, but is played way too straight with its blend of mummy lore, sci-fi, and slasher tropes.

4/10

Alien: Romulus (2024) - Not bad, for a 'midquel'

Right off the bat, 'Alien Romulus' isn't as good as the two previous entries in the series, but probably alongside the third and forth one (we'll just ignore the 'vs Predator' and 'Prometheus' movies). 'Romulus' wears its reverence for its predecessors on its sleeve with its oppressive, industrial set design to the dim, flickering lighting.  At least this goes a long way to make the film looks and feel like it was made alongside the original. 

The art direction and practical effects are pretty good and these 'plus points' go some way to obscure its narrative shortcomings. There's plenty of fan service and they do help to make up for just how bland most of the characters were (the only real stand-out is the android who's by far the most interesting of the - way too young - spaceship's crew).  However, as the story goes on, moments that echo 'Alien' and 'Aliens' come frequently—too frequently. The film risks leaning so heavily on its predecessors that it struggles to carve out its own identity. 

At least it is watchable, delivering enough tension, gore, and xenomorphic mayhem to satisfy fans.  Where the film falters most is in its plot.  At first glance, the story seems serviceable, but the cracks start to show if you think too hard about its finer details.  The lead actress will never come close to Sigourney Weaver's iconic portrayal of Ripley and general character motivations rely on leaps of logic that strain believability. 

Perhaps the worst part was the last fifteen minutes which are so drawn-out and redundant that they threaten to undo some of the goodwill the rest of the film earns. It’s not a total disaster, but it feels more like an extended epilogue than a satisfying conclusion.  Despite its flaws, 'Alien Romulus' is a worthy addition to the franchise for those willing to embrace it on its own terms. It may not match the brilliance of the original or its immediate sequel, but its nostalgic feel and overall tension make it an enjoyable, if imperfect, homage. Just don’t go in expecting airtight storytelling, and you’ll likely come out entertained.

7/10

The Glitterball (1977) - Nostalgic fun

You'll have to excuse the bias that I clearly exhibit when watching 1977's 'The Glitterball' - a film about an alien, er, ball, that comes to Earth and meets some local British kids.  Who needs E.T. eh?  I watched it so much as a kid that I practically know the script word for word.  I can't help but still feel that it's a charming slice of seventies British family entertainment, blending sci-fi with a dose of childhood adventure. 

It's so family friendly all the way and offers an innocent, nostalgia-soaked trip back to an era when storytelling for younger audiences prioritized heart and imagination over massive action set-pieces and alien sky-beams destroying New York.  The two young protagonists do their best to protect our spherical extraterrestrial from the usual suspects: bumbling crooks and skeptical adults. 

It’s a classic setup, but its simplicity works in the film’s favour, allowing its quirky humor and likable characters to shine. The Glitterball itself is the star of the show - even though it's merely a glowing orb with an endearing personality that communicates through lights and an appetite for earthly delights—particularly human food.  

The special effects, especially for the alien ball, hold up surprisingly well. While it’s not on the level of 'Star Wars' (released the same year, believe it or not!), the practical effects used to depict the Glitterball’s movement and interactions are inventive. Watching it devour biscuits and other snacks is both amusing and oddly mesmerizing, adding a playful charm to the film.  

I know I'm biased, but I still think most people will find 'The Glitterball' is good, wholesome fun (and who can't help but root for a plucky sentient snooker ball against a bad guy called 'Filthy Potter?')

7/10

Kronos - The 'Independence Day' of the fifties

Having been a regular cinema goer in the nineties, I was 'treated' to the delights of such cinema epics like 'Independence Day.' I guess that in 1957 'Kronos' must have been a showstopper and been the 'ultimate' alien invasion film of its day.  It was directed by Kurt Neumann and follows a team of scientists as they try and thwart an alien energy machine which is intent on draining Earth’s resources. 

What sets 'Kronos' apart is its towering titular antagonist which is a giant, metallic, pulsating machine that's menacing without having to resort to the modern day trope of a 'sky-beam' attacking a city. Watching it now, it’s impossible not to admire the ambitious special effects which were totally 'CGI-free' which bring Kronos to life. Okay, so the acting is what you'd expect from the fifties and packed with mid-century science-speak, making the performances kind of kitch by today's standards.

If you're thinking of watching it today then you need to appreciate the nostalgic sweet spot in cinema history that gave birth to it. It’s a reminder of a time when science fiction was a playground for big ideas, even if the budget couldn’t quite match the ambition. It’s not a flawless film, but its vintage charm and cultural significance make it worth revisiting for anyone who appreciates old-school sci-fi.  I'm kind of used to films having 'environmental messages' woven into them today, but I was surprised to see that kind of theme all the way back in the fifties.

6/10

Maneater (2022) - Nothing new, but not bad

The killer shark genre is nothing new - especially as the 'grand-daddy' of the genre ('Jaws') was released all the way back in the seventies.  Yet 'Maneater' manages to just about keep things interesting with its straightforward thrills. Sure, the premise of a man-eating shark terrorizing a group of beachgoers is nothing groundbreaking, yet there’s a certain charm in the simplicity of its execution. 

This definitely isn't the next 'Jaws,' but if you're looking for an easy, no-frills thriller to stream then 'Maneater' is surprisingly watchable.  What sets this film apart from the many shark movies that came before is the presence of Trace Adkins. Playing an older, grizzled local with a vendetta against the shark, Adkins brings a welcome touch of maturity and gravitas to a cast that otherwise feels like classic "monster-fodder." His character gives the film a bit more weight, and his screen presence stands out against the younger, thrill-seeking crew.  Although props to the younger lead actress who I'd never seen before, but kind of looked like Cameron Diaz from some angles.

Of course, no matter how good the cast is (and how many excuses they seem to make to go into the dangerous water!) it's the shark that everyone has come to see.  And, for a B-movie, the monster is in it a fair amount.  And, maybe it was because I happened to be watching this film on my phone while at the gym, but the creature looked quite passable in terms of special effects.

In the end 'Maneater' might not be a cinematic masterpiece, but never really tries to be anything more than a fun, occasionally tense thriller that does just enough to keep you watching. If you’re a fan of the genre or simply looking for something easy to stream, this one’s worth a bite.

6/10