Star Trek V: The Final Frontier - The worst of the Trek films, but still not that bad

Most people who know about the Star Trek films feel that the fifth outing was the weakest of the series... and they're probably right. Nothing really fits for the big-screen. The villain isn't particularly villainous. The Klingon sub-plot is pretty lame. There isn't much action and there's never much of a feel of threat to the characters.

However, despite all that, the film isn't too bad. I look at as more as an extended episode of the TV show. The Enterprise gets taken over (rather easily in my opinion - it must have been the Security staffs' lunch hour or something) by some blokes wearing rags, lead by Spock's half brother (who should have been played by Sean Connery, only he turned the part down). Then, the ship is taken to the centre of the universe (which is apparently only a few hours journey away) in an attempt to meet God.

Since Star Trek 4: The Voyage Home had a lot of humour in it, it seems like they've tried to recreate a humorous atmosphere in number 5, too. However, it doesn't really work and take away what little tension there is for the situation. The banter between the Kirk-Spock-McCoy triangle is nice, but, again, it only serves to make this a light-hearted film that deals with serious subject matter.

William Shatner, aka Captain Kirk, also directs. And, to be fair, he doesn't do a bad job. Everything here is pretty standard stuff. It certainly won't win over many new fans to either the genre or the franchise. However, if you're a fan of the old crew and have an hour and a half to spare, there are worse sci-fi outings out there.

6/10 May just keep you awake if Freddy Krueger was haunting your nights

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home - A light-hearted `Trek'

For those of us who followed the Star Trek (film) saga from the beginning, it's hard to believe that `The Voyage Home' is really a follow-up to Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. The second outing was dark, brooding and brutal, whereas The Voyage Home is light, fluffy and even political.

The crew of the Enterprise (minus their ship - see III for what happened to that!) are on their way back to Earth when they find an alien probe is on the brink of destroying their planet in the search of whales it made contact with thousands of years ago. The only option - to Kirk anyway - is to travel back in time to present day, pick up a couple of humpbacks and then bring them back to the future to tell this annoying probe where to go.

Yes, you could also call Star Trek IV `Save the Whales.' However, the film is more than just a piece of animal rights propaganda. It never feels like it's stuffing its message down your throat (Avatar, see how it's done!) and it such an enjoyable ride that you really forget about the subtext.

It's probably the most widely-watched Star Trek film to date. People are sometimes turned off the franchise due to its `geeky' reputation. However, you don't need to know that much about the characters to appreciate it, nor do you have to sit through hours of space battles as ninety per cent of the film is set in present day Earth. It's the most `family-friendly' of the Trek movie and, whether you're a fan of the franchise in general or not, I would say that most people should be able to sit down and enjoy the ride.

9/10 almost as perfect as The Godfather

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock - The best of the `odds'

Anyone familiar with the majority of the Star Trek movies will know there's a train of thought where all the odd numbered films are somehow of a lesser quality to the even numbered ones. Therefore. Star Trek III: The Search For Spock, is somehow not as good as the other.

I disagree. Okay, it's not The Wrath of Khan (arguably the most highly-regarded of the original franchise), but then nor are any of the subsequent movies which followed. It is however, the sequel to The Wrath of Khan. With Spock dying at the end of the last film, there had to be some proper conclusions drawn from the sequel. And The Search For Spock does just that.

Taking a more modern example, it's like what Quantum of Solace is to Casio Royale in the James Bond franchise. It's basically the end half of Khan, showing us what happened next and tying up the loose ends that were left off regarding the `Genesis project.'

We have Kirk and crew at their most brazen: forcibly stealing the Enterprise and going where no man has been allowed to go before, i.e. into a restricted area of space to see if they can resurrect their fallen comrade. Not only that, this is the first (true) outing for the Klingons. Many people don't seem to like Christopher Lloyd's performance as the Klingon leader. Again, I have to disagree. Granted he didn't have much dialogue to work with, but he's a pretty nasty baddie, clearly enjoying slaughtering the goodies indiscriminately and most people will be happy to see the back of him.

Star Trek III may not be the greatest of them all, but if you like `Trek' in general and still pine for those golden days before JJ Abrams rebooted the whole lot, give The Search For Spock a go (and try not to dwell on the fact that he's really directing the whole show from behind the camera - boom boom).

8/10 The Force is definitely strong with this one

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan - Ultimate Trek

While many will hail the 2009 Star Trek reboot as the best ever outing of the franchise, it may have the special effects and the adrenaline rush to even rival Star Wars, but, somehow, it doesn't have the sheer dark moodiness of The Wrath of Khan.

The second Trek film is helped by the fact that it follows a not particularly well-received first movie, therefore many considered that anything was a step up. However, the franchise seemed to step too far (where no man has gone before, perhaps?) and created a movie that has yet to be topped. Here we see Kirk up against an old foe from the TV series, genetically-engineers super psycho, Khan. It's a homicidal game of cat and mouse as they constantly chase and elude each other until they come to the ultimate climax - the death of one of the regular cast members (I'm sure you know which one!).

Whereas one of the Star Wars franchises main strengths is its sheer `mass appeal.' It's hard to find anyone who hasn't at least watched (and most likely enjoyed) one of the films. However, Star Trek will always carry more of a stigma about it and there are connotations of nerdy geeks wearing tight-fitting costumes at science-fiction conventions. That's the reason that, no matter how good a Trek film is, it's unlikely to win over many new fans.

The Wrath of Khan will always live as the fans' favourite, until you come to the next generation (of us fanboys, not the cast from the eighties) who may well choose the 2009 reboot.

If you like your sci-fi a little more moody and intense than simply a little pointy-eared green man talking backwards and then whacking a bloke in a cloak with a glowing stick, then you may just enjoy this, too.

10/10 The Monty Python Knights of Camelot are currently looking for this

Star Trek: The Motion Picture - The most underrated of the Star Trek franchise

Star Trek: The Motion Picture was Paramount Studio's attempt at cashing in on the Star Wars craze that was sweeping through the late seventies. However, instead of getting a fast-paced action romp, they got something more in tune with 2001: A Space Odyssey. Therefore, the first big screen Star Trek outing was always left in Star Wars' shadow. This, of course, was slightly rectified by the sequel (and darker and more action-orientated) The Wrath of Khan, but that's another story.

It's easy to see why Star Trek: The Motion Picture never set the box office alight, it's slow, very talky-talky, with lingering shots of things that you don't really know what they are and absolutely no action. However, that said, it's actually quite good (but only if you're in the mood).

If you're looking for something fast-paced then you should probably ignore most of the Star Trek saga and skip straight to the 2009 reboot. Whereas if you are a fan of slow-burning (and dare I say it?) `intellectual' science fiction then you might get something out of this.

Avatar it is not. Interesting it is. Although, it should probably have an `Eighteen Certificate' slapped on it - not because the content is particularly `adult' in nature, but simply because there's no way anyone under eighteen would ever appreciate it and have the patience to sit through it.

May the old crew live long and prosper.

8/10 The Force is definitely strong with this one

Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation - Not as bad as some make out (but definitely not that good, either)

Fact: Everyone loved the first ‘Starship Troopers’ movie.  Face no 2: I made that first fact up.  However, it’s fair to say that a film about extremely good looking teenagers getting their brains sucked out was never destined for true critical acclaim or Oscar nominations, but it was pretty damn good fun anyway.

I suppose that’s what people were hoping with part II.  The problem was that, no matter how much fun Starship Troopers was, it never quite set the Box Office alight as the film-makers might have hoped.  Therefore, any sequel was destined never to have the budget of the original.  And here it really shows.

If you check out most of the reviews of ‘Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation’ you’ll see that most people absolutely hated it.  And, I can see where they’re coming from.  Firstly... the budget.  It doesn’t have one.  Any big dramatic set pieces you may recall from the first film have been replaced by a single set and a background of a sandstorm on an alien planet (largely to cover up the lack of ‘alien’ surroundings).  Then there are the actors.  You won’t have heard of any of them (okay, so you didn’t know Denise Richards before Starship Troopers, yet the calibre of actors seems better in the first film).  Then there’s the general change of tone.  Gone are the big, blazing gun battles and in their place a thin, lifeless plot about alien bugs who can get inside humans – again, largely to replace the need to make proper aliens as the bad guys and use regular actors instead.

All of the above is bad and yet I can kind of forgive it for.  I have actually watched Part II a few times.  Yes, it’s a B-movie and it’s not that good, but I can’t bring myself to totally hate it.  In my opinion... the worst flaw it contains is its repeated lack of logic.  It’s just badly written in places that totally spoils what could be (at least) a lesser compendium piece to the original.  You have plot devices that are just wedged in to forward the story and keep the main characters alive, even if what you see contradicts what’s happened just a few scenes before.

It’s hard to recommend Part II to anyone really.  Fans of sci-fi and B-movies in general will probably just find it lame.  Those diehard fans of the original will find this one blasphemy as it changes things around so much and, if you’re generally looking for an action movie, you’ll have seen a hundred better ones.  So, I guess the only people who will find something vaguely enjoyable out of it (like me!) are those who can forgive it its many flaws and limitations.  If you set your sights low enough, you may just find something entertaining here.  But don’t hold your breath.

6/10 May just keep you awake if Freddy Krueger was haunting your nights

Starship Troopers - A classic - on more levels that you may be bothered to think about 

Starship Troopers is set far in the future where our precious Earth is threatened by a race of giant ugly alien bugs. Therefore, we call upon our heroic young men and women of the mobile infantry to fly out into the vastness of space, wipe these aliens nasties out of existence and return triumphant.

That was the plot and the plan rolled into one.

You could be thinking that's it's just another mindless action film where annoyingly attractive men and women (who should really be models than soldiers) shoot swarms of CGI monsters. And it is. Only it is and it isn't. Yes, there are plenty of breath-taking action scenes where the computer effects actually work and it really does look like the monsters are there.

However, although Starship Troopers likes to come across as just another shoot-em-up film, it does have - believe it or not - some deeper meaning. It pokes fun at the media, propaganda and even allows us to catch a glimpse of a `utopian' future which is only one step away from fascist (check out the eerily similar Nazi uniforms the officers wear).

If you liked Robocop and the way it almost threw in some tongue in cheek social and political commentary with mindless action, then you should like this. And, if you're like me, you'll be repeating the slogans from the film for days to come... They'll keep fighting... and they'll WIN!!! 

9/10 almost as perfect as The Godfather