The Double - Pretty decent spy thriller

One of the major problems with `The Double' is the trailer advertising it. If you've seen it, it tells you most of the story (and one of the twists). However, I only found that out by reading the internet forums about this movie. I suppose I fortunate enough not to see the trailer, hence I quite enjoyed finding out what was happening as it went along.

It's nothing too revolutionary - old dog spy (Gere) paired with up and coming spy (Grace) - it's effectively a mismatch/buddy-cop film but with spies. It flits between action and talking, with a few surprises thrown into the mix. Plus it isn't too long, so it fits everything in and quite nicely.

But, although it's a decent watch, it probably could have been better. It gives away one of the surprises too early, which may lead some to lose interest. However, at least there are a few more twists to come which I'm guessing the writer hoped would make up for it.

In short, it's not bad, but not a classic. Plus, avoid watching its trailer at all costs. Long gone are the days when a trailer is made to tease and draw you to a movie without revealing anything. I decided to watch the trailer AFTER I'd seen the film and I can see what people meant about it. I really don't know what the film-makers were doing with the trailer - it's effectively a ninety minute film condensed into a couple of minutes.

Overall this is a decent and entertaining production for which you have to keep expectations low on all levels in order to enjoy it.

6/10 May just keep you awake if Freddy Krueger was haunting your nights

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the movie) - The prequel…. Basically

Ah, ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ – the seminal TV show of the nineties which launched Kirsty Swanson as a household name.  Well, maybe in a parallel universe.  Before Sarah Michelle Gellar started saving the world (a lot) and falling in love with almost every good-looking undead stud in Sunnydale, they actually tried the format on the big screen.  This version never really took off and has kind of been lost among the annals of cinematic history, only being revived as a strange beast of interest that (TV) Buffy fans like to watch, simply in order to compare this weird ‘alternate take’ on their icons to what the ‘real’ thing turned out like.  And I have to confess that that’s why I watched it.  I was never a mega-fan of the nineties TV series, but I’ve grown to watch it through my daughter and was kind of curious what the filmic incarnation of Buffy was like.  If it was up to my daughter she’d probably end the review here as she could barely sit through the whole film!  However, I thought it was an interesting little ‘compendium piece’ if nothing else.

Yes, it doesn’t have quite such a memorable cast list as the TV show and the dialogue isn’t half as snappy (and the vamps don’t ‘dust’ when killed, probably due to budget reasons!), yet it still maintains a strange sort of charm.  Whereas in the TV show it is definitely Sarah Michelle Geller’s show, here it’s the older, more established actors who are a more memorable, for our non-Geller Buffy mast face off against B-movie veteran of the eighties Rutger Hauer, while being taught her slaying skills by ‘watcher’ Donald Sutherland.

I guess the filmic incarnation of Buffy is even harder to ‘sell’ now in retrospect than it was at the time.  When it first came out it didn’t have huge names, big effects or anyone that would draw in the masses.  And, let’s face it… the title of ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ does sound a little cheesy.  I know the film (and TV show) doesn’t always take itself too seriously and a healthy dose of cheese is required during watching at all times.  I just could imagine the audience’s reaction to seeing a film entitled this.  It seems to be too old for youngsters and yet to ‘teen-ish’ for adults, therefore didn’t really draw in a wide and varied audience.

As with the TV show, we meet our titular ‘slayer’ Buffy, who’s a teenager who just so happens to be this generation’s ‘chosen one,’ tasked with wiping vampires out from the face of the Earth (or rather just her hometown to start with!).  Once you’ve invested your time in the TV show, it’s hard to watch the film without trying to relate it back to the ongoing series.  I see this as a kind of ‘prequel’ as it deals with Buffy learning of her heritage and being taught the ways of the Force (or slaying vamps – whatever).  And, for that, it does almost work when looked at in conjunction with the TV show.  Yes, there are always going to be some continuity errors that don’t really match up, but, seeing as the two mediums don’t occupy the same ‘shared universe,’ this can only be expected.

It’s hard to recommend the film really, as fans of the genre will undoubtedly be so into the TV show that they refuse to except this as part of the lore.  However, if you’re someone who can appreciate the ‘evolution’ of the character and wants to take a sneak peek into an alternate universe where Sarah Michelle Gellar doesn’t reign supreme, give this one a go.  Yes, it’s daft and yes, it’s cheesy, but wasn’t the TV show all that, too?  This isn’t a film for everyone, but it is one that does still have an audience out there, even if it’s getting smaller by the day as more and more people only ever remember the TV show as the ‘real’ Buffy.  But this one could be a lot worse (especially seeing as we’ve never got a new series from Joss Whedon!).

6/10 Should probably keep you awake if Freddy Krueger was haunting your nights

Underworld - The dark side of Twilight

There was a time (somewhere before 2008 I believe) where if you mentioned vampires fighting werewolves, you would instantly think of the Underworld saga. Sadly, vampires started to twinkle and werewolves used to run around topless and Selene and her Underworld buddies were forced to take a backseat.

However, if you're bored of vampires gazing at each other longingly and only breathing through their noses, then you may still enjoy watching the two undead races slug it out with guns. Think `Resident Evil' only darker and better.

Underworld tells the story of a vampire assassin (or `Death Dealer' as they're called) who, during her war with the werewolves (or `lycans' to use the technical term) falls in love with a human who may just be destined to play a bigger part in both races' lives.

It's dark like The Crow, has fight scenes like `The Matrix' and, if you're a guy, Kate Beckinsale running around in skintight rubber. If any of that sounds like you're cup of tea, then you'll probably enjoy Underworld. Amazingly, two decent sequels were also spawned off the back of this (and a fourth instalment that can be taken or left, depending on taste). Either way, give it a go - it's what vampires and werewolves were supposed to be before they used to go to high school together.

9/10 almost as perfect as The Godfather

Twelve Monkeys - Python meets Terminator

`Twelve Monkeys' is Terry Gilliam's mind-bending time travel epic which tells the story of convict, Bruce Willis, being repeatedly sent back in time to discover the cause of a mysterious virus which wiped out 99% of humanity.

It doesn't have Terminator's action sequences, but the plot is kind of similar, plus Gilliam shows his flair for depicting his weird vision of the future by showing us a world that is a cross between Brazil and Time Bandits.

Despite Bruce Willis not always receiving that much praise for his acting abilities, he comes across pretty well here as a vulnerable and confused man, trying to make sense of the weird situation he finds himself in. (A very young) Brad Pitt also co-stars and steals every scene with his odd eyes and borderline psychotic personality disorders.

It's a great film, but you have to be in the mood for it. I've watched it about three times in the space of nearly twenty years and loved it every time. I have to feel like sitting down and really trying to get my head around who's doing what and why.

Like I said, it's not just like Terminator where bad guys fight good guys. You may have to think a little with this one. If you're a fan of Terry Gilliam's work, you should love this. If you've never seen anything he's done before, you may have to tread carefully with this one and check out some more reviews before you decide to commit over two hours to looking into his twisted mind.

9/10 almost as perfect as The Godfather

Spaceballs – Nearly as good when you’re old

I remember going to see ‘Spaceballs’ when it came out in the cinema (a building with a massive TWO screens and is no longer there any more).  I think I was about 11 at the time.  Back then I didn’t really know who Mel Brookes was, or anything about his other films.  I just liked ‘Star Wars’ and that was all I needed to know.  And, based on that most flimsy of reasons to see a film - I loved it!  It’s a parody of ‘Star Wars’ (and the occasional other sci-fi gag) which follows the original’s plot reasonably accurately, i.e. rougish smuggler must rescue a princess from a black-helmetted space dictator.  Now, nearly three decades later I thought I would watch it again and, I didn’t love it… so much.

I guess it’s one of those films where you have to be young to really laugh at every single joke.  I now feel that, although much of the time I was at least smiling a bit, it’s not quite as funny as when I used to laugh at simpler things.  It’s a decent enough watch and it’s nice seeing John Candy clearly enjoying himself as the ‘Chewbacca-type’ creature (unsubtly named) ‘Barf.’ Now I look at it again I can’t help thinking that Mel Brooks is trying a little too hard to be everywhere, as he casts himself as basically the lead (and a couple other roles) and now I see it through adult eyes, he seems a little too full of himself, even if he does play a complete idiot.

I mentioned John Candy as the stand-out role, but the others are good, too.  Bill Pullman is functional as the ‘hero,’ but it’s Rick Moranis who steals every scene as the completely incompetent ‘Darth Vader’ rip-off, now known as ‘Dark Helmet.’ There’s a great ‘Alien’ cameo too by John Hurt and some other nods to a few famous franchises, so you’ll probably need to know all movies in the genre to appreciate everything.

I may be sounding a little harsh overall, but I did enjoy it again, even after all this time.  I’ll probably watch it again in another ten years, but next time I’ll know not to expect it to be the same as when I was a kid.

7/10 if I woke up on Groundhog Day and had to watch this again, I could live with that

Doomsday - The perfect storm of nonsense

Paying `homage' to other films can be touch and go at the best of times. Sometimes it ends up looking like a film's just blatantly copied another (most likely superior) movie and you get nothing new.

However, with `Doomsday' you can never be entirely sure which homage you're watching. We join the action a few decades in the future where Scotland has been quarantined due to a virus wiping out the population (possibly down to an infected deep-fried Mars bad - we don't know). However, when the virus resurfaces in London, an elite squad is send north of the border to try and find a cure.

Yes, it's a B-movie, but it's a damn fine one. When the team assembles, we get extreme shades of the Colonial Marines from Aliens (see some `borrowed dialogue' even), then we move on to Escape From New York (even down to the fact that the central character has only one eye) and Mad Max 2 when it comes to fighting the enemies. Finally, give it a 28 Days Later feel with the vibe and musical score and you have one hell of a violent mess of a film.

With this many elements in the mix, it's never going to sit together perfectly, but then I doubt the film-makers ever intended it to be perfect. It has its faults and there are plot-holes aplenty if you're in the mood to pick holes in it. However, I watch Doomsday purely to be entertained. I'm not looking for high-quality drama or a watertight script.

It's severely tongue-in-cheek, even bordering on daft at some stages. And good on it. It can never hope to compete with the serious Hollywood action blockbusters, so it carves out its own niche in the market by copying other films in a `knowing' way.

For everyone who loves this film (like me) there will be someone who absolutely hates it. And I can understand where they're coming from. If you're expecting some high-quality, Hollywood action, then you may be disappointed. To get maximum enjoyment from Doomsday, put your brain on hold, grab the biggest bucket of popcorn, place your tongue firmly in your cheek and enjoy the crazy ride.
A true guilty pleasure film if ever there was one.

8/10 The Force is definitely strong with this one

Bruiser - A Superhero before his time? 

There is a tendency among modern superhero (films) to portray their particular marked crusader as some sort of flawed, anti-hero - take Chris Nolan's Batman trilogy, Robert Downey Jr in the Iron Man films and The Watchmen.

Bruiser was released in 2000, just slightly before this trend really took off. It's about a put-upon worker who wakes up to find his features have changed to that of a plain white mask. Therefore, now no one knows who he is, he seeks revenge on all those who scorned him. This sounds like a basic sort of superhero movie plot and, courtesy of zombie-lord George Romero, he adds a bit of horror into it too.

Does it work? Sadly, not really.

Although it could have been decent enough, it suffers from a lack of stars, a clunky script (Romero also wrote it and, as anyone who has watched his more recent zombie films will know he's kind off gone off the boil with his pen) and quite possibly budget. There's no real action and only a few kills. However, my biggest gripe was how our (anti?) hero was never really the put-upon loser he was billed as. Henry Creedlow works for a famous fashion magazine (think Vogue etc), has a beautiful wife, lives in a big house, drives a fast car and plays the stock market. From this we're supposed to feel sorry for him. Okay, he gets pushed around a bit, but, for me, it just didn't make him as much as a loser as the film suggested. Then there's the `super villain.' Only he's not. Captain America fought Red Skull, with Batman it was the Joker. Here, the `villain' is an annoyingly loud guy who sleeps with more women than Peter Stringfellow. He's not trying to kill anyone, nor is he trying to take over the world. He's just an idiot. Again, hardly someone you can truly hate (get annoyed by - yes - but not hate).

Full marks for Jason Flemyng for his America accent. Maybe Bruiser will get a remake one day and give it a budget and a script makeover. In the meantime, probably one to avoid. Sorry, George - I still love Dawn of the Dead.

5/10 a hard trek, a bit like unicycling to Mordor and back